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to think i have been dis-invited?

(18 Posts)
Stigaloid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:03:28

My friend is getting married in August this year (only a few weeks away). At the start of the year we attended their engagement party, was told to book the day off work, which we did, told that no children were allowed and have organised childcare, got a save the date invite and now.....nothing. I wasn't told about the hen until last minute but couldn't go as was looking after DS and told it was going to be quite 'messy' on the booze front and as am pregnant not really suitable. The bride mentioned how excited she was to me in an email that her wedding is only a few weeks away and when i mentioned we haven't received our invite but kept the save the date and are looking forward to it i have had radio silence.

AIBU to suspect we may have been disinvited? We haven't seen much of them this year as they have been busy wedding planning and we have been busy parenting. We are the first of our friends to have children and they really don't realise how much they change us from our previous social life. I know they want to start trying for kids soon so they will learn pretty sharpish (if all goes well and they get pregnant) but am feeling a little left out.

What do you think ladies and gentlemen? Still invited or on the C-list - 'invited only if everyone else says no'?

Fimbo Fri 19-Jun-09 11:06:21

I think I would send an email asking her outright if you are invited as you need to cancel your childcare arrangements if not.

Although tbh the silence speaks volumes.

Heated Fri 19-Jun-09 11:06:21

Do you know if she has she issued the invitations to everyone else?

Firawla Fri 19-Jun-09 11:07:10

I think that is really rude!!
maybe you should just ask her again for the invite, if she remains silent a 2nd time you may have your answer

YeahBut Fri 19-Jun-09 11:09:16

Isn't the rule of thumb for wedding invites 6 weeks prior to the date? How far off is the wedding? Do you know if anyone else has received an invite yet?

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 11:09:53

Actually, that wouldn't be my first thought. I'd be guessing that they're late getting formal invitations out, but aren't too bothered because everyone has already had the 'save the date' thing.

Maybe I'm being optimistic? I just can't imagine sending someone a 'save the date' and then not inviting them!

Stigaloid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:10:04

yeah - have sneakily asked another friend who went to her hen if she has had her invite yet, but not heard back from her either.....i am a little hurt as she was really involved in my wedding. Plus i gave her loads of ideas for her hen which i know she used (i suggested making your own handbags etc and she got lots of kits in for everyone) but just haven't heard anything.

I will wait a little longer and then ask again but i think i know the answer.....

nancy75 Fri 19-Jun-09 11:10:20

how early are formal invites sent? if they have sent out the save the day cards they might not send invites until about a month before the wedding?

Stigaloid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:11:51

Yeahbut - i hope that is the case - i always thought it was 3 months prior (especially in summer) so as for people to make overnght arrangements, purchase present off wedding gift list, and have any declines then processed so others can be invited. Maybe it is 6 weeks and i am being a little early in my assumption. Wedding in 8 weeks.

WinkyWinkola Fri 19-Jun-09 11:12:42

But why would she disinvite you? Don't assume the worst just yet. She might be v. busy getting these last minute invitiations sorted.

I've been to weddings where the couples regarding Save the Date cards as a way of buying time with regards to getting the official invitations sorted.

I hope you're wrong about being uninvited. Especially if you've arranged childcare, booked day off work etc.

Stigaloid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:35:15

Yeah - it might just be total pregnancy hormones and paranoia but we haven't seen much of them at all this year due to one thing or another. I only got invited to her hen about 6 days before the event, despite the fact that i know her MoH and she kept mentioning that she was organising it etc and other friends got invited much earlier. I know she was planning on having a 'large one' for her hen and she has strict views on mothers with small children 'enjoying themselves' [hmmm] but as i was pregnant (which she didn't know at the time) i wasn't planning on having a knees up but would have popped along for a few hours (unfortunately it was left too late for me to organise childcare for the day)

It is probably fine. I just remember getting my invites out earlier as weddings are tricky to manage in terms of numbers, feeding everyone, getting everyone accomodated in hotels etc. But she is usually very organised with these things and the fact that she has gone silent makes me hmm

I shall keep you posted and let you know whether it is pregnancy paranoia or not!

abraid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:37:20

Perhaps the invitation got lost in the post? That happened to me once and it was really awful because my old boyfriend invited me to his wedding and thought I had deliberately ignored the invitation. I'm not sure anyone ever believed me when I said I hadn't had it.

mumblechum Fri 19-Jun-09 11:39:56

Hmm, ime <<racks memory of almost non existant social life>>, yes, the last two we were invited to were 6 and 4 weeks respectively.

flowerybeanbag Fri 19-Jun-09 11:42:21

I'd just ring and ask her tbh

Stigaloid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:43:07

I shall keep the hope alive then and continue to find a dress to wear to cover the bump! Thanks for replies ladies. I shall keep paranoia in check!

MarthaFarquhar Fri 19-Jun-09 11:43:39

I agree that she might just be a bit slow wit the invited. I was once chatting with a friend over dinner about his very formal wedding 6 weeks weeks away, to which I assumed I hadn't been invited. He asked if I would be bringing DD so they could check numbers, and added that the invitations would be sent a couple of weeks hence (cue frantic shopping for outfit).

Stigaloid Fri 19-Jun-09 11:43:42

FBB - i have already emailed and am waiting to hear back but if i don't hear back by end of day will suck it up and call....

bigstripeytiger Fri 19-Jun-09 11:48:51

I thought that 6 weeks was the guideline for getting invitations sent out?

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