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birthday party for DD3 !- DH is furious with me!

(97 Posts)
drlove8 Wed 17-Jun-09 11:58:28

because ive booked a party bus for DD3'S 11th birthday! is quite expensive and she can only have 12 "guests" ... need to explain a bit. Last year dd3 had a bithday party booked in a local kids play area, sort of indoor adventure playgrond place, she had the "disco" party booked... and we handed out the invites. DD4 came home from school that day crying - none of her friends would be able to go because another little girl's mum had decided to throw a massive party/bbq at her new 5 bedroom house , they'd just moved in and the "parents were invited too" so of course DD3'S kids party looked a bit shit compared to that. we got one reply that dd3's best friend would go... one out of 30! the thing is the party was booked for dd3's actual birthday , the other wee girl's birthday was days later ... who also said to dd3 that her " party place was for babies" sad.... AGAIN this year the other wee girl has a party booked on DD3's birthday... but its at the "party place for babies!" .... so i thought bugger this im going to have something for dd3 thats extra special!... so i booked the party bus!grin... its booked at an earlier time than the other wee girls party and will end just before hers starts.... so the kids cam go to both parties if they choose to.... so am i being unreasonable ... i just dont want my wee DD3 in tears again on her birthday!

slayerette Wed 17-Jun-09 12:03:54

I don't think it's unreasonable to want your DD to enjoy her party but it seems odd that you would knowingly book her party for the same day as the other girl's. Surely you run the risk of parents not wanting to spend the whole day running their child from one to the next?

Why not book your DD's party for the weekend after and plan a special family day out for her birthday?

drlove8 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:08:14

but its a party bus! and it is actually dd3's birthday that day, it is not the other wee girls! if they want to go tp the other party as well , the bus can drop them all off there.

junglist1 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:09:35

YANBU at all! I feel for your DD last year, it's a sensitive age for that sort of thing aswell.

Haribosmummy Wed 17-Jun-09 12:10:04

I don't think it's unreasonable at all.

my DSD1 had, for a variety of reasons, a shit 12th birthday. So, for her 13th we took her and 11 other kids in a limo to the Hard Rock Cafe and they had a great time and all got a t-shirt to take home.

Then they all got a limo back to our place and had a sleep over.

I would say, though, it has set a prescendent and DSD2 is already thinking about her 13th wink and DSD1 about her 16th!

but, I do agree with Slayerette, don't get into a bun fight with this other girl's family!

katiestar Wed 17-Jun-09 12:10:49

YABU.Book a party on another day.Why are you making this into a competiton !

supagirl Wed 17-Jun-09 12:12:16

I think yab a bit u in seeming to suggest that the other child's Mum booked her LO's party on the same day as your daughter on purpose.

This year DS2 started reception and his was one of the first birthday's so we didn't know many of the other parents. It transpired that another child's birthday was on the same day and we had inadvertantly booked a party clash. A few kids didn't come to ds and a few didn't go to the other child's - it was too late to rearrange.

Since then I've spoken to the other Mum and we are planning on a joint party next year so all the kids can come to both parties.....problem solved!

Why don't you just speak to the other child's Mum OR book a party on another day?

It seems a bit competitive and a bit petty to me tbh. Not many kids have their party on their actual birthday anyway.


Disenchanted3 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:12:18

I wouldn't want to go to 2 parties in a day.

Why not just book it another day?!

I would have to choose one or the other.

drlove8 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:15:34

katie im not competeing, if i was id have booked exactly the same time and did what the other mum did last year,(which was just to show off her new house, i know she was excited about, her H worked very hard to get it for them) no one will have to choose what party they will go too, they can go to both.

FAQinglovely Wed 17-Jun-09 12:17:19

well - DS2 has been invited to 2 parties on the same day at the end of the month - I can tell you now he'll only be going to one.......

drlove8 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:20:21

the other girls mum , has also said she's not inviting one of the wee girls because her mum is "smelly". She's not, but she is on a very low income and her partner isnt her DD's dad.... i do think the other woman judges people by what they have though. hmm

PM73 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:20:56

Why should the op change the party date? As i understand it that is her dd's actual birthday.

I think the party bus sounds fab!

I wouldnt mind my ds going to 2 parties in 1 day,the lo's will love it.


belgo Wed 17-Jun-09 12:21:01

YABU. It's not supposed to be a competition, why didn't you just book a party for another day?

And what on earth is a party bus?

FAQinglovely Wed 17-Jun-09 12:21:21

what you have to bear in mind is that many parents may not want to shuttle their children to 2 parties in the same day and either give their child the option which party the want to attend, or decide for them, and that it may not be your DD's party they choose..........

belgo Wed 17-Jun-09 12:22:57

I also wouldn't send my children to two parties in one day. Too tiring, too much food, would be much more enjoyable two parties on two different days.

SomeGuy Wed 17-Jun-09 12:23:08

If you know there's another party on the same day (presumably Saturday/Sunday), schedule yours for the other day (Saturday rather than Sunday or vice versa) or the previous/following weekend.

Kids play area does sound a bit young for a 10-year-old TBH, if it's a softplay sort of place.

Are you sure last year wasn't just a scheduling conflict? Is it possible that they didn't know about your party when planning theirs?

PM73 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:25:34

But why should the op change her party date as that is her dd's actual birthday?

QuintessentialShadow Wed 17-Jun-09 12:26:10

You are setting a precedent for years to come. Remember this. And you already know what sort that other mum is, dont be the same. Next year it might be YOUR girl who is not invited to the party, for whatever reason. Dont make your childs birthday party into a powerstruggle. Dont let what you think of this woman influence your party choices, at the end of the day, your dd might end up hurt again. To be honest, you sound both jeaolous and vindictive.

LoveMyGirls Wed 17-Jun-09 12:26:18

I think as a mum you try your best for your children, I don't think you are doing it to be petty I think you are trying to make sure your dd has a fab day and I'd be the same.

I don't agree with setting a prescident either.........(warning waffling alert....) last year dd1 got a family BBQ and then a trip away to see girls aloud and then we went on hols for a week, it wasn't a special number birthday but it all fell together like that so that's great, this year we're getting married, she knows we can't afford to do loads for her birthday this time, dd2 is having a party at a soft play place just because its the day after we come back off our honeymoon and it's the easiest way to ensure she has a fab birthday as I won't have the prep time I'd normally have, dd1 hasn't complained because she knows last year dd2 didn't have a big party because she was too young to know and we'd spent quite a bit of taking them on the holiday 6 weeks before. Dd1's birthday is 7 weeks away and we still have no idea what to do tbh.

Fimbo Wed 17-Jun-09 12:26:29

Its not the first time I have had to run about to 3 parties in one day for ds.

Can you give me the bus party details sounds ace.

SomeGuy Wed 17-Jun-09 12:29:10

She should change it because she already has an invitation from somebody else. Some parents send out invitations two months in advance. Fairplay to them, they're organised, they get first dibs on the date and time.

It does look slightly hostile, having received an invitation from somebody else, to then schedule your party for the same day.

FAQinglovely Wed 17-Jun-09 12:29:18

Fimbo - maybe you would - but I know a lot of parents don't. There's been much discussion about it at the school gates as the invites both went home in book bags on the same day.

For me it's more of an inpracticality - how do I get one boy from a party at one side of town to a party at the other side of town 1 hour after the first finishes. Would have to pop home for ermm, about 15 minutes, get a bus other side of town. And then I'd have to walk him (about 30 minute walk - fast pace) back from the 2nd party as the buses stop by the time the party finishes.

drlove8 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:30:18

a party bus is an american style rv thats kitted out like a disco inside .... like this sort of huge limo you can dance in!

edam Wed 17-Jun-09 12:31:55

I sympathise - although this is nowhere near as bad, I am slightly miffed that two mums at school have organised a joint party for their boys the day after ds's birthday. They didn't ask me, despite the fact it is ds's actual birthday that weekend and their sons' are a month later in school hols.

OK, I'm being a bit over-sensitive, but these are two of ds's best friends, they've been together since nursery (so all three have been going to each others' parties for four years now), these kids have always had their parties at the start of the September term and I'm slightly worried people won't be able to do ds's party on Sat and their party on Sun.

PM73 Wed 17-Jun-09 12:33:00

Well i personally wouldnt change the party date especially as it is her dd's birthday.

The other girls party doesnt fall on her birthday & her Mum must have known it was the ops dd's birthday from last yr.

I hope your dd has a great day op.

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