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AIBU to Report My Brother Missing?

(8 Posts)
Deemented Tue 16-Jun-09 21:52:05

Have posted this in chat too - but i think i just need some perspective.

My brother lives in Perth, Western Australia, and i think something may have happened to him.

Our mum died last October, and he came home for the funeral, and despite always being close i could sense a tension between us, but put it down to grief on both our parts. I lent him a sum of money, which he promised to pay back when he got home and got paid. He never did, and to be honest, i don't care about the money, i just need to know he's ok. It got to a point where he refused to answer our calls, and in the end i stopped ringing. Now it transpires that neither of his adult daughters have seen him for a couple of months, and i've just found out that my SIL received a strange facebook PM from his boss in Feb/March time saying that he was writing on Paul's behalf and that Paul didn't want to know any of his family here in the UK, and that Paul would be uncontactable for a few months.

I know he's an adult, and if he chooses not to have contact with us then that's fine - i just need to know that he is ok, that no harms come to him. I'm even wondering if he's in prison.

My mum always called him 'The Wanderer' and he has gone incommunicado before - last time was about five years ago when his marraige broke up, but even then he rang me sparodicaly, just to let me know he was ok.

Would it be reasonable of me to perhaps contact the police in Perth, and tell them of my worries for him? I've tried all the numbers i've got for him, without success. I've left messages on his FB account, which he hasn't been on for months, and i'm trying to find out who he was last working for so i can contact them.

Sorry for the long post, but i'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do for the best. Any thoughts or advice would be most appreciated. Or do i just need to accept that he no longer wants to know?

leftangle Tue 16-Jun-09 21:55:20

Sending sympathy but no advice. Are you able to contact his boss at all?

memoo Tue 16-Jun-09 21:55:58

I don't think you would be unreasonable as all, in fact I think you'd be mad not to.

Bonneville Tue 16-Jun-09 21:59:32

YANBU - do it.

edam Tue 16-Jun-09 22:01:54

oh demented, I'm sorry you are so worried. Yes, think it's entirely reasonable to call the cops.

Is SIL his wife or ex-wife? Would she be able to find out more from the police?

LaaDeDa Tue 16-Jun-09 22:03:03

Oh gosh, what a terrible situation for you. If i were you, i would contact the police - your brother may not want contact with you but that doesn't stop you worrying about him and so for your own peace of mind i would do something.

Deemented Tue 16-Jun-09 22:07:37

No SIL is my other brother's wife, iyswim.

I'm going to wait til tomorrow now - damn time differences! - and then ring the police, who'll probably think i'm some mad winging Pomme!!!

I've been through his FB friends to see if any i recognise are on there, but no luck.

TheRealMrsJohnSimm Tue 16-Jun-09 22:37:33

I don't think the police will think you are mad at all. And you are being absolutely reasonable to call them and try to find him.

Sincerely hope this all works out for you.

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