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To be pissed off at my mother???

(9 Posts)
AnnoyedAtMum Tue 16-Jun-09 10:29:03

Ok, it was my dads birthday recently and the DAY BEFORE my mum asked me to get my dad a card from her!

Ok, so I got that card, ended up paying for part of it, took it back and sneaked it into their house for her.

When his birthday came I went around to see him after he got in from work, and she hadn't got him ANYTHING, hadn't even bothered to seal the card!!!

Now, my parent's don't really do big gifts for each other as they just buy what they want when they want it, but when it's my mums birthday my dad showers her with little gifts like chocolates, personalised teddies, books or CDs she liked, get flowers delivered to work etc, and makes her feel special.

He always cooks her a special meal, or they will go out for dinner.

My dad didn't get any of this, my mum took it quite literally when he said there was nothing he wanted for his birthday.

I knew this was going to happen so I ended up paying far more than I can afford on a gift for him to try and make it special for him and make him know that he is not taken for granted.

My dad does everything around the house, cooking, cleaning, tidying, washing, whilst my mum sits on her PC or watches tv.

I am just feeling annoyed at my mum, because my dad has always done anything and everything he can to make her feel special and she never does anything back.


(BTW I have namechanged because my mum knows I use this site and didn't want her knowing my username)

Alambil Tue 16-Jun-09 10:39:09

your poor dad yanbu

AnnoyedAtMum Tue 16-Jun-09 10:50:50

Thank you LF

It's like this about most things too, like she will never lift a finger, always layus in bed for as long as she can on the weekends, but nags him when he doesn't do all the jobs she wants him to do.

She has never once cleaned their cars, or swept the garden, I can count the times she has made tea or pulled the curtains on one hand.

I a way I also feel jealous I think, Here my mum is being a bitch to my dad and he is as loyal and loving as they come, I have always been really nice to my XPs and have alwasy been treated like shit.

I sometimes wish my dad would grow a back bone and stand up for himself

Sparklyblue Tue 16-Jun-09 10:56:14

Your poor Dad
Maybe he should start treating your Mum the way she treats him.
A taste of her own medicine may make her realise what she is doing, but probably not hmm

AnnoyedAtMum Tue 16-Jun-09 11:05:27

My dad wouldn't ever treat her that way.

Even when he comes in from work, all cheerful from the day, opens the door "honey i'm home" (has always done that, lol)

Goes into the living room, where she is on the laptop playing a game, she won't even take her eyes off the screen, and when he goes to give her a kiss he is either met with the cheek or told to get off her, or just completely ignored.

He alwasy makes out like he doesn't mind, but I bet he does.

I am just annoyed, he does everythign fo her EVERY SODDIGN DAY, would it hurt her to do something for him once a fricking year????

ShowOfHands Tue 16-Jun-09 11:08:50

'he always makes out like he doesn't mind, but I bet he does'

She does sound very self involved but perhaps he truly doesn't mind.

It surprises me sometimes the dynamics of other people's relationships but if they're happy then they're happy.

poshwellies Tue 16-Jun-09 11:13:03

My father has a relationship very much like this although not with my mother but with his partner of 30 years.

I really dont't get involved as it made my blood ressure rise (myself and her do not get on)-all I can say is,if your father is putting up with your mother's behaviour and loves her,there's not much you can do.It's his choice to remain married to your mother.

Difficult to see someone being treated horribly though.

poshwellies Tue 16-Jun-09 11:13:59


merlinthehappypig Tue 16-Jun-09 11:21:28

AnnoyedatMum your mum sounds just like mine!

My dad does everything for her and she treats him like shit. It was my dad's birthday last week and because they had been on holiday beforehand she hadn't got him a card or present, (even though his birthday was 3 days after they got back).

Periodically my dad will stand up for himself and my mum will treat him better for a while. I tell him he needs to do it more often.

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