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to be thinking of moving back in with my ex?

(5 Posts)
hatesponge Mon 15-Jun-09 19:21:06

brief background - ex and I bought a house together some years ago. We lived there together until I had enough of him being a total tosser and moved out last year.

He still lives there on his own. House can't be sold due to unfinished building works, which he has made some progress with over last year - though still a long way to go.
I currently live in a much smaller rented house with our DCs.

Have found out he is now seeing someone - he hasn't told me & I dont think our DC know (although apparently hers do). Have been told she lives in a flat in the not v nice end of town with her 4 DC; now for all I know she might be v happy where she is, but it occurs to me that she might equally like the idea of moving into my house (5/6 beds, big garden, better area etc).

I dont want my ex back. But I dont want anyone else living in my house either - would it be wrong of me to move back (until house can eventually be sold) to stop any chance of her moving in?

Should add, he has always refused to move out which is why I had to. And neither of us could afford to buy the other out.

He also has form for jumping in with both feet. He has moved in with girls after a week, and got engaged to the g/f before me after a fortnight. I don't therefore have any trust in him being cautious!

pjmama Mon 15-Jun-09 19:29:51

Could you really stand to live A) with him and B) with unfinished building works?! I can't imagine it would be much fun for any of you?

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

sweetnitanitro Mon 15-Jun-09 19:42:45

How old are your DCs, wouldn't it confuse them?

hatesponge Mon 15-Jun-09 21:48:00

I'd rather not live with him again but if it stops any prospect of her getting her feet under my table (both literally & metaphorically - all furniture in the house is mine!) then I guess I would have to put up with it.

The building work doesnt bother me, I lived through 6 years of it & most of the time it was a lot worse than it is now (previously had no heating, no kitchen etc!)

I am a solicitor myself, although this isnt my area of law, from what I know if I'm not living there he can move someone else in, I would then have to go through all kinds of hoops to get her out, which I'd prefer to avoid.

DCs are 8 & 10. They are old enough I think to accept us living separately, but in same house, which is what would happen. I'm certainly not intending to get back together with him. This is purely to keep her out!

ChippingIn Mon 15-Jun-09 22:15:50

Do you think if you and the Dc's moved in he might move out to hers? I can't see her being too chuffed if he stays there with you grin

So long as you explain to the Dc's that you are not getting back together and that you can put up with it until the house sells if he doesn't move out.

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