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AIBU?

To think that women 'people' - shouldn't be subjected to porn at a professional conference

160 replies

onebatmother · 12/06/2009 23:08

Sweet Jeezum, would you have a look at this description of a mainstream, non-adult-industry tech developers conference in the states.

Porn (as it has always done) is powering tech development.

This guy's attitude speaks volumes both about what porn says about imaginary, abstract women, and - crucially - the real women who had paid to attend the conference.

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TotalChaos · 12/06/2009 23:11

yanbu. sounds utterly grim and inappropriate lecture material.

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Deathworm · 12/06/2009 23:13

That's vile. Depressing.

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/06/2009 23:17

And crucially , the presenter has not eateen dirt although others around him have

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LeninGrad · 12/06/2009 23:17

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LovelyTinOfSpam · 12/06/2009 23:20

Atrocious. That's all I can think to say really. Imagine turning up at a professional conference and sitting down for a presentation to be confronted with a woman's open legs.

Beggars belief.

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KashaSarrasin · 12/06/2009 23:23

How depressingly, sickeningly grim .

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Snorbs · 12/06/2009 23:27

That's cringe-makingly awful.

I thought the organiser's response was interesting. He didn't try to duck out of the personal responsibility he held in allowing such a debacle to occur. Instead, he's done what he can to repair the damage. He's a complete plank to have sat back and allowed it to happen, but I think he's learned his lesson.

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onebatmother · 12/06/2009 23:30

It just seems astonishing, doesn't it?

I'm hesitant to push this further because I'm pretty sure that I'll alienate some who would agree with the general premise, but not with this:

This impulse lurks under the surface not just in this industry, but in many other industries. Lots of men wish that they could stick it to the fucking PC brigade, and speak what they really think without self-censoring.

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 12/06/2009 23:33

yy snorbs, that's what I alluded to in my earlier post - the fellow who made the presentation has not apologised, apparently he always behaves like that, it's just him being himself

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LovelyTinOfSpam · 12/06/2009 23:36

I dunno onebat.

You say "lots of men".

But the number of truely male dominated industries, or at least ones who would be this upfront about it, is diminishing rapidly.

I worked in the industry with the largest gender pay gap in the UK (insurance). Very old school, but they at least pretended to be OK. This sort of thing would be unthinkable.

I think the problem here is they got a bloke in from the telly, renowned for obscene shock stuff, and expected him to give a presentation which met industry norms...

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LeninGrad · 12/06/2009 23:37

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Deathworm · 12/06/2009 23:40

Yes. Lenin. horrible to corner you into the position of being their conscience for them.

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LeninGrad · 12/06/2009 23:44

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Snorbs · 12/06/2009 23:46

BoysAreLikeDogs, there are men out there who's emotional development never really progresses past adolescence. Such men tend to have some very odd ideas about interpersonal relationships as a whole, and women in particular. That there are people out there like that doesn't surprise me, and neither does it surprise me he doesn't really see the problem. Empathy isn't big with that kind of person as empathy requires a fair degree of emotional sophistication. I find it sad and unpleasant, but not surprising.

What does surprise me is that, given the presenter's rep, the organiser didn't foresee that this could turn out badly and so be on-hand to pull the plug. I'm also surprised that members of the audience didn't object and/or walk out. I've been to professional tech conferences in the past and that kind of puerile crap simply wouldn't have been accepted.

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Snorbs · 12/06/2009 23:59

LeninGrad, I also work in IT and have done since the late '80s. Back when I started there was a real undercurrent of schoolboy sniggering, low-res soft porn images hidden in secret directories on the mainframe, off-colour jokes and all the rest. But, at least in the companies I've worked for, it's changed an awful lot for the better since those dodgy days.

In my office, we don't have any one person who challenges overt sexism, racism or homophobia because I can't remember the last time there was any overt sexism, racism or homophobia there. My office is so politically correct it makes the Guardian look like the Daily Sport. Moreover, I like it like that. Sexism, racism and homophobia make me uncomfortable even if I'm not the one being denigrated. I'd hate to work in an environment where that was common currency.

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blueshoes · 13/06/2009 00:00

Unbelievable and stupid. Have that presentation in a workplace and it is a nice fodder for a sex discrimination lawsuit.

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onebatmother · 13/06/2009 00:04

V interesting LG. Makes sense. Also would be realistic to expect that at least some of the others are thinking 'fucking hell, I'm sick and tired of that LG and her feminism making it impossible for me to express myself"

Agree DW

Boys and Spam re the guy: but by that token everyone involved in booking him knew what he would say. So.. we're back to my point. It's a licensed 'steam-letting', where one individual is given tacit permission to say what everyone else - on some level (not all levels) - is feeling.

Spam it's interesting what you say re the unthinkableness of this in your industry. It's only the overtness of the display of misogyny, presumably, that would be unthinkable? You imply that the industry underneath still 'thinks' like this - or am I misreading that?

In some respects I relish these moments, because it pulls away the curtain which (I believe) shields the real (though not constant) thoughts of the men in those 'edited' industries.

By which I mean all industries where there is any money and which have had to stop being overtly sexist to avoid lawsuits.

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LeninGrad · 13/06/2009 00:05

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onebatmother · 13/06/2009 00:06

Snorbs, that's very cheering to hear.

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GrandadOnagar · 13/06/2009 00:09

"no overt sexism, racism or homophobia goes unchallenged in our dept"

Good for you.

So you wouldn't stand for someone saying this would you.

"Of course straights are welcome as guests but I'd appreciate it if you could please try to refrain from sticking your tongue down your straight partner's throat whilst you're there."

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LovelyTinOfSpam · 13/06/2009 00:09

Yes it's only the overtness that has gone.

But that is a start. No more bikini screen savers etc helps.

First get rid of the overt, the obviously offensive, then tackle the underlying. The underlying is of course hugely difficult...

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LeninGrad · 13/06/2009 00:09

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blueshoes · 13/06/2009 00:12

onebatmother, I accept that men do tone down their words when women are present and have to be PC in 'edited' (to use your phrase) words. I assume if they were 'amongst friends', they would just become more sweary and have non-PC jokes about wives and, erm totty?

But outright porn? I suppose I am naive, or just don't have experience of industries that are almost completely male dominated at all levels.

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LeninGrad · 13/06/2009 00:14

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LeninGrad · 13/06/2009 00:16

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