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AIBU?

To get a bit annoyed about people asking why I've still got a little bump at six days post partum?

34 replies

norktasticninja · 12/06/2009 14:48

"Is there another one in there?","why have you still got a belly?"... I mean really, are people stupid or just plain thoughtless? FFS it's the last thing I need

I just calmly explain that my womb hasn't shrunk down all the way yet, my stomach muscles don't meet in the middle again yet and that there is undoubtedly a good layer of blubber there too. But still, it upsets me.

Would anyone really expect me to have a flat stomach again already so soon after the birth of my second baby in 19 months? I mean it's not all that bad, IIRC I was pretty much the same after DD.

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louii · 12/06/2009 14:51

Its all the celebs to blame for that!

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Stigaloid · 12/06/2009 14:51

wtf? who are these idiots and do you have to see them again? tell them to get lost. or burst into tears on them and say 'that is an incredibly insensitive thing to say to anyone, let alone someone who had a baby a week ago."

HUGS

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AMumInScotland · 12/06/2009 14:53

I think the only thing is to answer "Because I've just had a baby, not a tummy-tuck you moron"

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StealthPolarBear · 12/06/2009 14:53

Idiots
I think it's rude to ask at all but 6 days later!!
You could say "mine's mostly womb, what's your excuse?"

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LovelyTinOfSpam · 12/06/2009 14:54

My next door neighbours DH asked me if I had had the baby yet about 3 weeks after I had.

About 3 or 4 months after I had the baby my brother asked if I was pregnant again.

It's usually thick men with no experience of pregnancy babies etc.

Ignore them

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norktasticninja · 12/06/2009 14:55

Erm - FIL, the cleaner, a good male friend, a good female friend and I think a couple of others too. DP asked too but he really did just want to know how it works in there IYSWIM, none the less upsetting for that though TBH.

It really isn't that bad

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BlackberryFool · 12/06/2009 14:55

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norktasticninja · 12/06/2009 14:58

Mmmm, I maybe should have mentioned that they are all Dutch (so very forthright) but even so I do think it's horribly insensitive.

I'm glad I'm not the only one . Thank you. I feel better already!

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MadamAnt · 12/06/2009 14:58

Are they very VERY thick?

If I were you I'd do the passive aggressive thing of saying, "I'm sorry? What do you mean?" repeatedly as they rephrase their idiotic question and (hopefully) become embarrassed by their crassness.

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LovelyTinOfSpam · 12/06/2009 15:00

Do dutch people have internal organs which work in a different way to british ones???

Bizarre and truly rude.

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stripeypineapple · 12/06/2009 15:00

NBU at all.

I still have a bit of belly 7 YEARS post partum.

Tell em fuck off.

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screamingabdab · 12/06/2009 15:01

Oh god, poor you.

My dad made a crass comment a few days after DS1 was born to one of my friends along the lines of "she's still got a bit of a tum".

What made it worse was that I had no idea what a post-partum belly would be like, and I'd had an emergency c-section, AND couldn't manage to breast feed, so there was none of that shrinkage you get when bf.

Agree it's the fault of celebrities and their tummy tucks, or super- fit athletes like Paula Radcliff with abs of steel.

Forget the blancmange Belly. Enjoy your baby !

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norktasticninja · 12/06/2009 15:06

LOL LovelyTinOfSpam!

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FairLadyRantALot · 12/06/2009 15:11

hm...have any of them got children/given birth themselves....my guess is, probably not...or it was a very long time...and time is kind to memory (i.e. erasing the bad ones )

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norktasticninja · 12/06/2009 15:14

Almost all have children! FIL was first in with "is there another one in there" at , wait for it... 12 hours after the birth

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FairLadyRantALot · 12/06/2009 15:17

oh dear...you have my permission to kill ...now that is annoying...ignore the bastards...and have some chocolate

oh, and ocngratulations, btw I bet you are norktastic right now, lol...only time I ever had boobs in my life was after childbirth, lol...

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Momma23 · 12/06/2009 15:25

I was asked this after giving birth 5 days previous. Lady said so when you due i said i had a baby girl 5 days ago. "and you still have a big belly don't you" ya had'nt really noticed!
I felt so and its comments like that, that hurt feelings esp after giving birth and hormones all over the place!
Had all mine very close 3,2,1 (and thats there age) Personal trainers i call them at times. Dont think i will ever see a flat tummy again some how though.

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Momma23 · 12/06/2009 15:27

Congrats by the way, If there so bothered by your tum ask them to give birth and see how quick there tummy goes down!

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sarah293 · 12/06/2009 15:31

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duchesse · 12/06/2009 15:38

Yes, and yes, are the answers to your two questions. They are stupid and thoughtless. And maybe (a teeny weeny bit in their defence) they don't have much experience of very new mothers.

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womma · 12/06/2009 17:12

Oh what nitwits! I guess you can use the 'hormones all over the place' excuse and be a bit rude back to them, can't you? Congratulations!

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Lizzylou · 12/06/2009 17:18

YANBU, I think I'd have just wept if someone had said that to me 6 days after my two, I was v hormonal.
There is a lovely Mother at DS1's school who had a baby a week ago, this is her third, she is nice and slim everywhere else but her belly is still swollen. She isn't in the least bothered and just looks lovely and flushed with the excitement of her new baby. Really healthy and happy. Her stomach would be the last thing I'd comment on to her!
It is entirely natural, congratulations on your new baby boy.

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norktasticninja · 12/06/2009 17:59

Thanks all! Somehow I've managed not to bite anyone's head off yet - I think if anyone else asks I might just do it though. Just to make myself feel better! Would that BU?

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FairLadyRantALot · 12/06/2009 20:26

Not at all unreasonable....

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2rebecca · 12/06/2009 20:46

I would be upset and annoyed and probably say "that's a very rude hurtful thing to say. Why did you say it?" Glad no-one said anything like it to me. I was devastated to be size 18-20 after having my first, took 2 years of gym and running to get back to prebaby. Wasn't as piggy in pregnancy with the second.

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