We get on pretty well and I don't think its a malicious attempt to exclude us it just seems a bit strange. It also means DH will have to use annual leave and I will be on my own with 5mo DD for the time they are away. DH will be expected to pay his share for the accommodation etc at a hotel - we are struggling to get a week away in Wales in a caravan over the summer! I don't think its malicious but it does seem a bit thoughtless. So... AIBU??
YANBU - I would so not expect my DH to go on holiday without me (and we generally take our DCs too!). Is there a reason for the holiday - is it a family anniversary or something? Even then, DH would not go without us, as he (and his parents) consider me and the DCs as part of the family.....
No it's not a special anniversary or anything like that - I could possibly understand it a bit more if that was the case. I think that MIL has just found it really hard to let 'her boys' go if you know what I mean. She wants to spend quality time with them on their own as the original family unit I think. I'm from a big very open and loving family and I find it weird - as my siblings hav met their partners, they have always been made so welcome and mum and dad's is an open house to all. Our family would never dream of excluding anyone so I find it hard to get my head around.
My DH is really easy going and will just go with the flow of what his mum wants to do. I could put my foot down and unltimately he would side with me but I don't want to cause any issues with MIL. She is pretty temperamental to be honest although I've worked hard at our relationship over the last six years and seem to be in a pretty good place at the mo. She id hard work and I don't feel like I can be that honest with DH about that. She has been 'queen bee' in their house for so long I sometimes she feels resentful that there is another woman on the scene - which is a bit insane but hey ho.
So who is the DIL in the title? I was assuming that was a Daughter-in-Law.
Stil think DH should not be going becausehecanseehowwrongitis- why should you have to put your foot down? Sounds like someone needs to stand up to your MIL at some point - she sounds like a spoiled child!
Being easy going at someone else's expense is just being a coward.
Do you really think it's ok for a baby's father to fuck off for a week without a by your leave to placate his overbearing mother?
Why not say you're happy to stay home as long as he pays for a nanny to do his share of the childcare? Or if you're not breastfeeding anymore just say you'll stay home but only if he takes dd as you don't feel like picking up his slack while he spends your money going on holiday without you?
This would be a non situation in our house, my DH would not want to go anywhere without his wife and children, and vise versa, i fid it very odd that yours would even entertain this, maybe its just me?
I think this is outrageous and in your shoes I would make an almighty fuss! My lovely parents in law I know now feel they have 6 children not 3. Of course the relationship is different but it is not normal, reasonable or kind to exclude 'in-laws'