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I am, I am, I need to confess.....

(110 Posts)
psychomum5 Fri 12-Jun-09 09:02:20

......I am a bad bad unreasonable wifeblush

bad dreams during the night. I dreamt very vividly that bugs were flying around my head and I was trying to get them and kill them....only then they all fell in the bed.

I leapt out, whacked hell out of the bed, then realised when whacking DH that I was dreaming, and it was 5am.


thing is, I laughed, I was not sorry, and I didn;t apologise, and he has been nursing me while poorly.

if this were him, I would be on here right now having a good old moan, and you would all be agreeing with me and telling me good things to retaliate.

you need to tell me off now.....I can take it.

or at least, make me feel better and tell me how vivid you dreams are

shreksmissus Sun 21-Jun-09 16:00:27

Message withdrawn

dillinger Sun 21-Jun-09 15:24:45

My mum woke up one night to find my dad standing next to the chest of drawers, shaking hell out of it, still asleep.

He thought he was at work in the JCB grin

Clwc Sun 21-Jun-09 00:13:34

I've been crying with laughter at this thread grin

I wish I had a story to add, but DP and I sleep quite soundly, only interrupted by snoring.

I hope this bumps the thread back up so that people can add more. x

monkeyfacegrace Fri 19-Jun-09 21:40:09

Yey not just me then. I have showers in my sleep, the go back to bed drenched, Ive got into the dogs bead and slept there, and also, got really shitty with my OH the day after dreaming he had an affair. But the worst...Im always dreaming that Im back with my ex, thats vile and makes me wake up evil.

Jackstini Fri 19-Jun-09 21:25:25

DH has woken me up twice recently chuntering "f-ing tw@t" under his breath. No idea who he is so mad at.
My Dad apparantly once sat bolt upright and yelled "who the hell is Sara Lee" then lay back down again and just rolled over. Left my sm a bit baffled...was it another woman or was he just fancying a bit of cheesecake?

Thandeka Fri 19-Jun-09 16:01:43

Recently DH made me laugh as he kept repeating "No DH No" with increasing loudness in his sleep to the extent he sounded really panicked about what he was telling himself no for. I said "It's okay DH" whilst elbowing him hard (for waking me up) and he rolled over and settled back to sleep.
Ah the nurturing powers of the wife!

NormaSknockers Fri 19-Jun-09 15:50:19

<<snort>> That really made me laugh OP!

nowanearlyNicemum Fri 19-Jun-09 15:42:09

Am chuckling away to myself as I remember another one:
It was about 10 years ago and DH and I were on a very early train coming back to reality after a weekend away. We both fell asleep on the train, DH with his head on my lap. He woke me up squealing in pain as I had dreamt that I was turning on the gas hob and was using his left ear as the control knob, twisting it hard and holding it down!!

nowanearlyNicemum Fri 19-Jun-09 15:37:06

This is a very reassuring thread!
I have been a serious sleep walker and talker since I was little.

My latest episode involved DH waking up at 3am to hear the hairdryer going. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Sure enough he found me there, drying my (bone dry) hair. I then put the hairdryer away and went back to bed, fast you do!!

stealthsquiggle Fri 19-Jun-09 13:07:36

hatwoman - my DH did something similar once - but the target was a large pile of clean laundry angry - so no means of revenge as neat as yours sad

hatwoman Fri 19-Jun-09 12:11:36

I've told this tale on mn before - but the story's too good not to repeat.

many moons ago dh and I were going to a wedding. in preparation I dug out the hat I was going to wear (Accesorise £30). I put it in the corner on the floor in our bedroom, upside down. In the middle of the night I woke up to see dh standing with one arm on the wall and the other one seemingly somewhere near his nether regions. At first I just muttered, with faint bemusement, "what are you doing" and rolled over. Then it came to me. I sat up and shrieked "You'd better not be pissing in my hat." He was.

The weird thing was that he seemed utterly awake. And utterly compos mentis. But he utterly failed to comprehend why I might have a problem with urine in my hat. "What have I done? Why does it matter?".

The next day I went to John Lewis on Oxford Street and bought the most beautiful hat ever (Whiteley £150 shock).

I think that was dh's most expensive piss ever.

pooter Wed 17-Jun-09 02:12:05

My DH used to talk in his sleep all the time - he once said "One donkey, two donkey, three donkey, four donkey"

so i laughingly said "five donkey?", to which he replied "no - dont be silly"

So i pushed my luck and said "six donkeys?" and he got really cross iwth me and said "now you are just taking the piss" and went back to sleep!!

There was also the time he punched me in the stomach because he thought i was a gremlin pulling a face and wiggling my fingers in the air! And the time, when i was sleeping on the floor with DS, that he tried to pick my face up because he thought it was a wet towel.

we sleep in separate rooms now grin but I miss laughing at him in the middle of the night!

ErikaMaye Wed 17-Jun-09 00:54:22

Thankyou all so so much for cheering me up - am crying with laughter after a pretty tough evening.

My DP hasn't quite forgiven me for a few things I've done to him in my sleep since being pregnant... He ALWAYS brings up the fact I knee'ed him in the small of the back over a month ago, and as he grasped his back in pain I stole the covers...

If anyone is aware of the soundtrack from "Wicked", I have also burst into a full cheast-voice rendition of the final verse from "Defying Gravity". I think he's more annoyed about the fact that I didn't sit up, and did in fact sing it into his ear.

He however is much worse than me... I'm sure! You can have a full "conversation" with him after he has had a couple of cocktails, I discovered this weekend. The only proper - yet slurred - words he could manage were, "Hey...Baby..." the rest of it was something along the lines of: "Mmmmmm. Mmm. Mmmmmm mm mmmmm mmm mmm. Mm?" When I simply started at him, I recieved what I guess was a telling off for not responding - "Mmmm mmmm mmmmm mm mm!!!"

picmaestress Tue 16-Jun-09 23:05:08

I woke up one morning, and my grandparents had called my mum - apparently I'd called them in the night and had a very weird spacey conversation with them about where they lived. They guessed I was asleep and told me to go back to bed.
The weirdest bit is: I don't consciously know anybody's phone number, I'm rubbish with numbers.

I used to wake up holding hands with my ex. Also used to wake up mid conversation with him - both of us asleep. Very sweet.

stealthsquiggle Tue 16-Jun-09 22:47:35

I once woke DH up going "how many?" and then refused to answer any clarification questions - eventually he gave up and said "14". I rolled over and went back to sleep, and he lay awake worrying about what there were 14 of and why it mattered grin.

Thing is, I remember the dream, and what I was doing as far as I was concerned was begging him to help me (for some reason which I cannot recall)

very hmm

pjmama Tue 16-Jun-09 22:39:27

DH once got up out of bed, pulled down his boxers and sat down on the side of the mattress with his head in his hands. I said "What are you doing!?" and he got up without a word, pulled his pants back up, staggered into the en-suite and resumed the exact same position on the loo. PMSL for half the next day about it. He still doesn't believe me!

readyfornumber2and3 Tue 16-Jun-09 10:27:03

Loving this thread lol

Just after DS was born I jumped out of bed in a panic and started searching the bedroom, DP woke up and asked me what I was doing, "looking for the baby" (Who is fast asleep in the moses basket next to the bed) DP "Hes asleep" Me "No, the other baby" hmm DP took the piss out of me for ages!! blush

I had a work mate who used to do alsorts in her sleep but the best one she told me was when she got out of bed in her sleep thinking that someone was stealing her car and was leaning out the window trying to see what was going on, Her DH woke to see something flapping around behind the curtains and jumped out of bed screaming "oh my God its a ghost" and ran like hell lol

Deemented Tue 16-Jun-09 09:01:21

OMG - I have almost just wet myself laughing at this thread - poor ds has been stood next to me stroking my hand in a most concerned way whilst i've been guffawing like a loon!!!

When i was little my sister and i used to share a bed and we would regularly hold conversations with each other whilst asleep - my mum once came in to tell us off for still being awake, only to find my sister holding her hand out and offering me a chip - i reached in and took one, put it in my mouth, went to get another and my sister slapped my hand and told me not to be greedy!!!

BecauseImWorthIt Tue 16-Jun-09 09:00:28

DH, when he is very stressed at work, often talks in his sleep. But in his case, he is having a telephone conversation. You can tell, because of the gaps in his speech, that he's obviously listening to someone 'on the other end' before responding to them!

It's very weird to listen to.

strawberryplanter Tue 16-Jun-09 08:32:25

When I was a child and feverish and sleeping I used to have a terribly scary nightmare that the corner of the carpet was starting to roll up very slowly, then rolling and getting bigger and bigger, coming after me about to engulf the bed and me in it, this enormous rolling up carpet getting as big as a tsunami!

Scaring myself just writing it down!

psychomum5 Mon 15-Jun-09 23:03:31

thankyou heated.

am going to read that later, altho I did like the MD one from the pathologist......he did indeed make it sound very believable with the stats and quoted figures etc

Debs75 Mon 15-Jun-09 22:59:30

When I was about 5 I had a dream that i was being chased by a goose. It bit me on the bum and I woke up screaming.

Last year whilst pregs I regularly beat dp up, sometimes opunching sometimes kicking. One night I punched him and stole his pillow saying it was 'mine now'
Once baby was born I stopped punching him

kitkatqueen Mon 15-Jun-09 22:47:57

Who Knows???? Maybe it was the same night and he was worried about your dad throwing his mouse out the window ??? grin

MumtoCharlieandLola Mon 15-Jun-09 22:44:28


Has you DP been in bed with my dad !!! Lol

Heated Mon 15-Jun-09 22:43:40

Just for Psychomum

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