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to strongly dislike my PIL

(45 Posts)
Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 10:04:00

They drive me mental. From deciding they wanted to hire a chavvy limo for the wedding to not seeing their 8 week old grandchild they are awful

They live in a dump (not through lack of money just cos they are lazy and dont clean up) They all smoke in the house and have a dog. The house is very very dirty,for example oldest son (33) sits around in his boxer shorts (he is obese) and youn cant see through downstairs window because of dog spit smeared all over it (can't remember last time it was cleaned). So we are not prepared to take DD to their house so now the excuses begin,
They can't come to ours as FIL has a rash (he has had it since she was born apparantly) and doesnt want to pass it on to her, This is fine but go to the doctors and get it sorted.
He isn't prepared to drive his car here incase someone takes his parking space outside his house?? so they would have to rely on taxi's which just isnt convienient for us as it means them hanging around for hours as generally the taxi is late picking them up.
Whenever they come, I have to wash the throws off the sofa when they leave as they smell of stale fags and just a bit grimy.

They are awful and I just wish they would sort themselves out.

I probably am totally overreacting and being unreasonable but I feel so much better for a rant.

They have only seen the grandchild once. Even though it was two vistors at a time at the hospital they turned up en masse and refused to obey the two visitor rule and had bought presents that stunk of grime and fags and that needed to be washed before going anywhere near our DD.

Right rant over!!! Will probably get flamed but feel better now it's off my chest lolxxx

triggerhappybaby Thu 11-Jun-09 10:09:48

lol I love rants like this. There's not a damn thing you can do about it but as long as you feel relieved its all good grin

Suggestion: meet in the fresh air.

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 10:11:08

Loving the suggestion!! If I had my way we would never meet again grin

l39 Thu 11-Jun-09 10:52:01

YANBU.
They can't use the car in case they lose the parking space? So they are paying tax and insurance just to keep the car for its scenic value??

I hate the smoking of my PIL. Apart from that, though, they're so much better parents than my own that I can't really complain.

controlfreakythecontrolfreak Thu 11-Jun-09 10:57:42

how does your dh feel about you despising and loathing his parents?

ChippingIn Thu 11-Jun-09 11:23:35

Well, you could be getting close to your wish, stick to your guns about not visiting them

I'm not actually sure what your 'problem' is (Oh I get why you think they are disgusting), but if you aren't going there and they aren't coming to yours... what is the issue? Is it that they aren't seeing the GC - personally I'd just be pleased!!

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 11:32:54

I think my problem was that she was complaining down the phone about how DD wouldnt recognise her Granny (not a bad thing in my book grin) and seems to put the blame at our feet. Err use your car!!

She is one of those women who has never worked and has spent her life on benefits (she has a bad back yeh right) and thinks that the world owes her a living.

I don't really tell DH how I feel, he knows that I am shocked by them as he saw the look on my face when i first went round to meet them and had to step over carrier bags of food shopping lying all over the front room floor to find a chair to sit on.

I just find them so annoying and am worried that if they do start visiting etc god this sounds awful but I don't really want them having a part in DD life. Christ Im horrible, but the thought of them turning up at birthday parties and school plays makes me feel ill. I know it's me and that Im probably a snob but they have about two teeth between them and since the shower broke haven't bothered to repair it. God Im horrible person, but it does feel good to get it off my chest xx

passionberry Thu 11-Jun-09 11:39:03

They sound awful! Did your DH turn out alright (with teeth etc.)?

VinegarTits Thu 11-Jun-09 11:42:47

Oh they sound grim

I would be thankful that they dont visit tbh, cant you just pretend they dont exist

grin at him not driving his car incase his space gets nicked, whats the point of having a car if you dont drive it hmm

clumsymum Thu 11-Jun-09 11:46:10

"I don't really tell DH how I feel"

Pilki, this is your first mistake. I don't think any of us would disagree with you about not going to your PIL's house, but I suspect your DH would. You and he need to discuss this, he may feel the same as you, and back you up (after all, if he lives with you, he presumably appreciates a 'cleaner' lifestyle).

Personally, in your shoes, I'd stay away from their house until/unless it's cleaned up. I think you must occasionally issue your in-laws with an invite to visit you (they are your dd's granparents), but if they give an excuse, just accept that, back off, and don't invite again for a while.

But really, you need to discuss this issue with dh, because he's going to be pulled between you and his parents.

lal123 Thu 11-Jun-09 11:46:34

this thread reminds me of "keeping up appearances" - is you FIL Onslow???

Walkingwiththighosaurs Thu 11-Jun-09 11:47:47

You've suddenly made my Ex PIL and MIL look wonderful, thanks! grin

Walkingwiththighosaurs Thu 11-Jun-09 11:48:25

LOL lal123 ! grin

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 11:49:18

It's really odd. I can't believe that he comes from the same family, he has siblings who are very similar to PIL but he is like a throwback. I know they embarrass him and he has tried to speak to them about cleanliness etc but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

I feel awful for feeling like this but they are awful. I could list a million and one things that they have done. Last time I saw her she looked and smelt like she hadnt washed in a week this was at my hospital bed just after giving birth. I mean why wouldnt you get false teeth if they had all dropped out, Im sure they are both alcoholics so it's probably best they don't drive.

Plus what really gets on my tits is that there is crap all over the floor, damp up the walls, rips in the sofa from the dog and also stains that his mum told me were from when the dog had a period WTF??? But they still manage to have a massive brand new plasma screen in the corner ??? just clean up...

I have to stop typing as I am getting myself wound up thinking about my DD having to have contact with them arggggghhhhhhh

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 11:53:49

LOL lal123 onslow is pleasant looking compared to my inlaws...
I nearly fell off the stained sofa the first time I met them.
On all the wedding photographs that cost us a fortune FIL is there with a fag in his hand

What takes the total p1ss is that his mum expects DH to take her to the supermarket as his dad won't move his ffing car incase he loses his space!!

I am loving my rant

triggerhappybaby Thu 11-Jun-09 12:12:14

me too lmao. Slatterns. grin

Baisey Thu 11-Jun-09 12:35:25

They sound like their greatest ambition would be to go on the jeremy kyle show...

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 12:43:28

No they make the guests on the Jeremy Kyle show look like the perfect Inlaws ha ha ha

more Thu 11-Jun-09 12:56:14

"and youn cant see through downstairs window because of dog spit smeared all over it"

I love that sentence. I did not know that dogs can spit, and the visual in my head is making me laugh my head off grin

burningupinspeed Thu 11-Jun-09 13:00:09

shock they won't drive in case someone takes their parking space? Does that apply to driving in general, or just to see you? In which case what's the point of having a car?!

daisydora Thu 11-Jun-09 13:03:11

shock Pilki YANBU!!!!

However, I now feel VVVVVunreasonable about my own PILblush

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 13:14:28

They don't drive anywhere!!! Infact his mother said once that she had never been in the car ??????? If his dad ventures out in the car and someone takes his space he sits watching through the dirty spot stained window twitching until his space becomes free again!!! And I'm susposed to let my DD near these people!!!

From what I have seen and heard the dog licks the window?? and nobody every cleans it!! Rab C nesbitt eat your heart out!!!

And why why would you have a 33yr old son sat in boxer shorts in your living room sweating on the sofa!!!

And don't get me started on his mothers lack of grooming!! She could braid the hair under her arms

I Feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better for this rant

minko Thu 11-Jun-09 13:22:57

Well, you've made me feel a bit better about my PIL!! I thought they were bad, but nothing on yours. wink

JenniPenni Thu 11-Jun-09 13:37:02

As they are your partners parents I would leave arrangements to see them up to him.. and would advise meeting ina neutral place. Their home being all smelly and smokey is not child friendly so it cannot be there... you'd prefer it not at yours... and to be frank, the inlaws probably would too... as it shows up their home...

I know... my PIL, although they have good hygiene, have the smelly dog, cigarette thing going on, which I hate. Being asthmatic doesnt help either. They've always called me 'madame' between themselves. The fact I am houseproud should stand for, not against me... my hubby was also a throwback it seems...

^Anyway, I digress^... is there a decent pub/restaurant near their home where you could meet for a meal? A park for a picnic? Just keep it neutral if possible.

And leave it to your partner to make contact, not you. Were they your parents that would be different imo.

Pilki Thu 11-Jun-09 13:43:10

Jennipenni - You sound like you know what Im going through!! I totally agree about the being houseproud should be a good thing!!!

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