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to say "no" to dd going abroad with her friend?

(32 Posts)
twoluvlykids Wed 10-Jun-09 18:06:20

she wants to go to Portugal, with a friend, they're both 14.

staying with her friend's half-brother, whose 30, with a wife, no kids, lives in portugal but in the army so in Germany at the mo.

I've never met this brother, never even met her friend's parents.

I've gently explained why she can't go, she seems ok.

But AIBU? She's quite grown up, not particularly street wise. Am I wrapping her in cotton wool?

I'm really not good at "letting go" in any way, shape or form.

twoluvlykids Wed 10-Jun-09 18:06:56

sorry, not 14, but almost

Greensleeves Wed 10-Jun-09 18:08:39

No way in hell I would let her go! It's an insane idea.

more Wed 10-Jun-09 18:08:39

I would agree with your decision, because you have never met the people that they would be staying with.

Thunderduck Wed 10-Jun-09 18:09:51


TrillianAstra Wed 10-Jun-09 18:12:50

With parents would be fine. With a brother who probably doesn't have much idea of what is safe/a good idea for 14 year olds - nope.

diedandgonetodevon Wed 10-Jun-09 18:12:54

YANBU would be different if there was more supervision but an absent half-brother doesn't sound good to me either.

littlestarschildminding Wed 10-Jun-09 18:24:18

NO WAY 14 is far too young...

Possibly if she were going with people you know and trust to keep an eye on what they were up too!

I know what I was like at 14 blush

belgo Wed 10-Jun-09 18:24:25


TubOfLardWithInferiorRange Wed 10-Jun-09 18:25:59

Have you seen the movie, "Taken" that's just recently come out?

TubOfLardWithInferiorRange Wed 10-Jun-09 18:26:56

yanbu-you are being a parent-smile

BroodyChook Wed 10-Jun-09 18:33:09


Tambajam Wed 10-Jun-09 18:34:37

My immediate thought was 'Taken' as well. YANBU

twoluvlykids Wed 10-Jun-09 19:32:10

No I haven't seen "Taken"

Anyway, I think I've placated her with a couple of days shopping in Brighton with me and her friend.

Ta for back-up!!

katiestar Wed 10-Jun-09 19:36:36

No absolutely not.No responsible parent would dream of letting their child go and stayn abroad without an adult they know and trust in charge

Paolosgirl Wed 10-Jun-09 19:38:21

No, YANBU. In fact, YAB completely sensible in not letting a 14 year old go to stay with a complete stranger!

seeker Wed 10-Jun-09 19:41:33

I let mine have tons of freedom - more than anyone else I know, and I wouldn't let my dd do this - she's 13.5

TubOfLardWithInferiorRange Wed 10-Jun-09 23:34:22

I think, even with my older teens, that they often come up with these ideas and run them past us just to see what we'll say-not just to test the waters but really to help develop their own judgment.

mumeeee Wed 10-Jun-09 23:46:06


Tortington Thu 11-Jun-09 00:37:28


Cocobear Thu 11-Jun-09 00:43:35

I've never seen Taken and just looked up a Philip French review: "This is the sort of picture that discourages Americans such as Sarah Palin from getting passports." grin

But, on topic, YANBU.

psychomum5 Thu 11-Jun-09 00:45:00

oh no no no no NO

bad idea, (of hers), great idea of yours to say no and suggest shopping instead!

Quattrocento Thu 11-Jun-09 00:47:03

We took one of DD's friends abroad with us last year. No problem with them going abroad solo but a real problem with her going to stay with a random childless half brother that you have never met.

loopylou6 Thu 11-Jun-09 09:13:28

Hell would have to freeze over before i would let her go YA SO NBU

mamadiva Thu 11-Jun-09 09:23:51

I came on to say yes YABU, but no your not.

If she was going away with parents yes but alone and to people you don't know no chance in hell I'd let her!

I went on holiday with a friend and her mum when I was 12 and I loved it though

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