to be a bit disappointed by DS's nursery

[curlygal]

Not having much luck with DS's birthday this year.....

The nursery usually do a wee party when a child had their birthday - they have a big poster on the wall with all the months with each child's birthday written in.

Lat year they totally forgot to do anything for him, even though I provided a cake, so this year I was a bit more assertive and told one of the teachers that as DS wouldn;t be in on Thursday (one of his usual days) I would bring in a cake for him to share on Wednesday (ie today) as that was the last day of nursery before his birthday.

I duly baked a cake and arrived at nursery this morning and gave it to them, explaining that there wer four candles there and to put it in the fridge as it has butter icing.

When I came to collect him I asked if I could have my cake tin back ( the last time I made cakes I didn;t get the tin back) and asked how the cake was.

It turns out that they hadn;t used it. Apparenlty they thought that I just wanted them to keep it in their fridge all day to save me taking it to work with me

They then said they would do something for DS tomorrow, I patiently explained that as I had said last week and as per the written note of DS's nursery times for June he wouldn;t be there tomorrow for them to do anything.

I guess it is a breakdown in communication but surely one of the teachers should've clicked when I mentioned the four candles - especially the one who I spoke to last week about it.

Am feeling a bit sensitive about other things so perhaps out of perspective but DS was so looking forward to sharing the cake with his nursery friends and I feel that I look like a but of a numpty now.

AIBU to feel upset and irritated by this?

[StealthPolarBear]

No yanbu
It does sound like poor communication rather than uselessness but your poor DS
Can he have a couple of nursery friends round to help blow his candles out maybe?

[2shoes]

yanbu
could they do something next time he goes in

[ruddynorah]

are you sure they usually do a party for them? wouldn't they then be having parties like nearly every week? are you not having a party for him at home or soft play or something with his nursery friends? sometimes nurseries can be a bit funny about home made stuff, as they can't check the ingredients or how it was made.

[curlygal]

It's a v small nursery - only 17 children at any one time and they definitely do parties for children and staff.

I am happy to make cakes for everyone (think they usually just do a bought one unless the parents provide one) it was the "experience" that he was looking forward to as he has seen it happen to everyone else now but never him

Most of his nursery pals can't come (or haven't rsvp'd!) to his party on saturday but some of them will be there.

He just loves the teachers so that was part of it and I think having it at nursery and being the special one for the day.

Am sure he will get over it, I am still feeling at them thinking I just wanted them to store my cake for the day - like I was just showing off my NIgella like baking skills, rather than providing a cake for them all

[Northernlurker]

Oooh I would be very annoyed! YANBU - it would make me fret a bit that they aren't listening to you in general - do you have any other concerns?

[SusieDerkins]

Ooh, yanbu. That's a bit rubbish of the nursery imo.

I hope he has a lovely birthday.

[stealthsquiggle]

That sounds to me as though whoever you spoke to this morning was not awake / had not had enough coffee and forgot about it.

When is DS next in nursery? Would the cake last?

[Greensleeves]

I don't believe they misunderstood, I think they forgot. Which is crap of them and I would be annoyed.

I would ask them why they did nothing to celebrate his birthday, when they have done so for other children. And tell them how disappointed ds was that he didn't get to share his cake with his friends.

[SusieDerkins]

It's particularly rubbish because at that age they understand the whole birthday thing and every time another child has a party they'll be looking forward to their own. V poor.

[curlygal]

DS isn;t back to nursery till Monday. I baked the cake on Monday and iced it yesterday so it would have been best eaten today, but would be ok tomorrow I reckon.

I do feel as if they just don;t listen or communicate well as the conversation where I initially mentioned bringing a cake in today seemed straight forward and I have a vague recollection of her saying "ok I'll put that in the diary".

When I came in this morning bearing cake and with DS jumping up and down with excitement at the cake I'd have thought it was obvious what was intended for the cake? So perhaps they just forgot about it during the day......

Is all a bit crap really. DS has been looking forward to his birthday for weeks now.

Overall I am very happy with the nursery as DS is so settled there and has made some great friends and loves the staff. The only thing that is poor is the communication and arrangements re hours / fees. It is flexible so you can give your hours weeks ahead - I frequently do this and yet DS is down for completely random hours some weeks. I pay be bank transfer and never receive any receipt or bill which I find odd but at least I have a recond of what I have paid.

Will see if I can take DS to nursery for a guest appearance tomorrow to do the cake. I have to wait in for his bike to be delviered so hope that is earlish then we can pop down - have cake and leave, not ideal but only thing I can think of

[icedgemsrock]

I can't believe they forgot 2 years in a row, that is really shitty and i would be furious and gutted for your ds.

[purepurple]

that is unexcusable
we had cake today for a child's birthday at the nursery where I work
we had 25 children in, it was a manic day but we still remembered
and sang happy birthday twice
I am for your DS

[oldraver]

I would go in and pointedly say as you forgot AGAIN we have bougth in his cake for his friends to share as DS was so disappointed that he was left out

[slowreadingprogress]

that is very poor, i agree
what has your ds said about it?

[curlygal]

DS blames me for coming to get him early before they had his party so I just said "oh yes silly old mummy" (through gritted teeth mind you!)

I was really polite to the staff and had a bit of a joke about it, but the more I think about it the more amazed I am that a mum can arrive at nursery with a cake and can talk to two members of staff about it and yet still they do nothing.

[purepurple]

curlygal, just a thought, but what time did you pick him up?
In our nursery, we don't have a party but we do the cake and singing at the table after tea. we have children that go home at 3.30 so don't have tea and so didn't get cake.
Just thinking that maybe your DS went home before tea?

[curlygal]

I get him at 1:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays so they should know when he is due to be collected.

A lot of the children are in all day or morning only so the best time to do it would have been just after lunch I think.

Of course perhaps they are h aving a great party this avo after DS left!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

YANBU

i would be very annoyed and obv your ds has seen other children get cake/blow out candles and at 4 he knows what birthdays are about

i would take a cake on monday so he can blow it out/eat it with nursery friends

but i would also have a word with the nursery assisants as well

[curlygal]

Am glad that the vote is for nbu in my sensitive state!

blondes - I just left the cake I took in this morning there as it was in their fridge so they have my cake and DS had no party.

I need to make another cake for his actual party at home on Saturday and am not sure I am strong enough to make a third one so the nursery can try again on Monday - is that unreasonable

[Blondeshavemorefun]

buy one for nursery

no point in making a nice one that half the children will prob finger and leave

[curlygal]

I was sadly proud of the one I made for today

It was Nigella malteaser cake and looked lovely (if I do say so myself) but you are right the children don;t eat it - at best they lick off the icing

Maybe I should give in and just get DS one of the bright blue Thomas / bright red Lightening MacQueen cakes he lusts after

[stealthsquiggle]

Depending which suits you better - either buy a cake and send it in on Monday, or call the nursery first thing tomorrow (with DS out of earshot, ideally), speak to the manager and make a big fuss about how DS is devastated that they forgot, etc, etc (I wouldn't even contemplate the 'misunderstanding' explanation) and then take him and cake in for guest appearance at an agreed time.

[StealthPolarBear]

Is it his birthday today? Happy birthday to your DS

[curlygal]

DS's birthday is on saturday, but as he is not meant to be at nursery today or tomorrow I had hoped for the cake etc to be done yesterday.

I am waiting in for his birthday present (a bike) to be delivered (bloody couriers with an 0870 number with a recorded message only) and am hoping that will be soon so I can take him to nursery for his guest appearance. If the courier doesn;t turn up soon I will just buy another cake and they can do it on Monday.

Have learned from this experience that it is clearly necessary to repeat all information I am trying to impart several times!

I don;t really get how they can forget or misunderstand the deal with DS's birthday. What with their huge poster on the wall with all the birthdays on and the fact that DS has been going on and on about his bday for weeks plus all the party invite drama but anyway...
DS seems pretty perky today so at least he seems to have taken it in his stride but have a feeling it will come back to haunt me

[funnypeculiar]

Agree with others that they forgot and are covering up with this misunderstanding rubbish.
And Nigella's malteser cake is yummy - they are idiots for missing out on it while it was fresh

Hope you & ds get to pop down today and enjoy some cake while the nursery staff eat humble pie