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To want parents to stop blaming their child's teacher for everything?

(380 Posts)
starlightexpress Tue 09-Jun-09 22:31:08

I'm just so sick of reading parents on here moaning about how crap their child's teacher is for one reason or another (not aimed at any particular thread this evening, btw).

In any given class of thirty-three, seventy percent of my time is spent dealing with about three kids who couldn't give a fuck. They don't want to learn, they don't want anyone else to learn. I'm not talking SEN, here, I'm talking just plain naughty.

As far as I'm concerned, the majority of the time when a parent is on here moaning about how shitty their child's teacher is, it falls into one of four categories.

Either your child is:

a)Badly brought up and you're making excuses for them.

b)So-called "SEN" which means they can behave when they want to, but misbehave most of the time using said SEN as an excuse. You allow them to do this because you prefer not to take any responsibility for their behaviour.

c)Genuinely suffering from an SEN, which I probably know very little about and am given little support (either in terms of training or TAs or resources)for.

d)Suffering from the fall out of "inclusion" which means that so much of my time is spent firefighting (see a, b and c) that I don't have the time to spend on your child that they deserve.

Of course there are crap teachers. There are also medicore teachers and there are good teachers who have crap days and make crap judgements sometimes. But mostly *it is not your child's teacher's fault*.

If you are a C or a D parent, then get thee to the Head, the governers, the local MP and kick up an almighty fuss. You're right to be upset, I don't blame you, I'm not happy about it either but what can I do? I'm doing my very very best but I can't fight the system on my own.

If you're an A or a B parent, do what the fuck you want - that's what you do anyway, and I'm not interested in your whining.

Before you ask, I teach in an inner city secondary school. Not the worst school in the whole world but not great either.

I'm a relatively experienced teacher with a decent results record. I don't have classroom management issues - last Ofsted (they actally watched some of my lesson) they said that this was a strength, fwiw. It's worth nothing actually, as Ofsted couldn't identify one end of a decent lesson from another, but I know their opinion matters to a lot of you.

Go on, flame me, I will have heard worse at parents evening, I can take it.

AIBU?

EccentricaGallumbits Tue 09-Jun-09 22:33:10

Oh fuck off.

got about 3 sentences in then got a bit bored.

sorry.

MaryBS Tue 09-Jun-09 22:33:31

My son has Asperger's and his teacher is lovely. My son has come on SO much since he has been in her class. The SENCO is good too, I'm really sad she is retiring at the end of this term

EccentricaGallumbits Tue 09-Jun-09 22:34:14

OK sorry. have read the rest of post now and take back the fuck off bit.

hullygully Tue 09-Jun-09 22:34:40

what's your point?

hoping4thebest Tue 09-Jun-09 22:36:14

amen sister!

SomeGuy Tue 09-Jun-09 22:37:57

I don't like moany parents. They undermine teachers' authority. There is a mum at my son's school who has her daughter (7) say that her teacher shouted at her and also shouted at my son and then she goes in and has a word. Or she finds that my son's got 20 words to learn on his spelling list and she's only got 15 (because her daughter isn't as good as spelling the teacher doesn't give her as many worse) and goes in to demand her daughter gets 20 as well.

janeite Tue 09-Jun-09 22:38:19

I teach in an inner-secondary school too. I accept full responsibility - for everything -ever.

The Titanic? I was that iceberg.

The fall of Rome? Yup - that was me, in disguise as a Visigoth.

The garden of Eden? I was working the serpent look then.

The state of the Labour government? You mean I shouldn't have been spending all that money?

bogwobbit Tue 09-Jun-09 22:41:33

Well yes, it's shite and you're probably right but tbh it's just what life as a teacher is like. Maybe you should be looking for a career change?

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 22:42:05

Hmm YANB that U but..
Your classes should be below 30
You should have access to training in SEN
SEN dept should be helping you supporting SEN teaching
You should not have to be spending 70% of your time on the 3 naughty kids, if they are that anti-learning they should be out and SLT should be supporting that.

But we don't live in an ideal world do we?

I personally think we have gone too far on inclusion, that SEN is grossly underfunded and that shit teachers should be managed out. But I have sat in on meetings where the school has bent over backwards to help yet the parent will swear blind the reason Johnny is misbehaving is because he doesn't get any help.

Goblinchild Tue 09-Jun-09 22:42:18

I think sometimes as a teacher, you just want to go AAARRRGGG!
Or write on the report 'What this child needs is a change of parents'
I'm one of those knackered veteran teachers who also has a son with AS and a daughter doing A levels. Sometimes you just need to have a paddy and a scream, and feel as if a synonym for your job is sewage manager when you have to deal with everyone else's crap.
Then you need to decide whether to keep going as a teacher, or whether to just stop, pull out and do something different instead.
So what's it gonna be starlightexpress?
Are you ready to skate on out of there, or get stuck back in tomorrow?

gerontius Tue 09-Jun-09 22:45:22

The government didn't realise that 'inclusion' actually meant exclusion for the other 95% of children.

starlightexpress Tue 09-Jun-09 22:48:10

Goblinchild, thanks for the peptalk. I'm going back in, Goddamnit!

Just have looked at so many threads on here and thought, 'Oh come on, do you really think that everything that's happened here is the teacher's fault and nothing whatsoever to do with you, the parent?'

The phrase "Now I know DS is no angel.." sends alarm bells ringing for me everytime.

(Again, NOT aimed at any threads this evening)

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 22:48:26

I think that is going a bit far gerontius. I think they thought 'gosh these special schools are a lot more expensive than mainstream, what a fabulous way to save money'

janeite Tue 09-Jun-09 22:49:15

Janeite's attempts at lightening the tone of the thread fail dismally.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Tue 09-Jun-09 22:49:40

I'm not a teacher but I tend to agree with you.
Saddest quote of the term from my Y7DD:
Me: How was class today?
Her: Well, I think it would have been interesting if X and Y had let the rest of us hear what the teacher was saying.
And

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 22:50:25

You did make me smile Janeite grin

steviesgirl Tue 09-Jun-09 22:50:34

Typical teacher - can't see your own faults. You're just so untouchable aren't you. Surprising how a degree or two and a few teacher training qualifications goes to one's head.

Everyone else is always in the wrong hmm

Goblinchild Tue 09-Jun-09 22:51:10

No it doesn't, but inclusion involves a lot more than just sticking a handful of SEN children in a class and expecting teachers to get on with it, without training, funding or resources.
Or would you rather that 'inclusion' was scrapped?
Starlight seems more pissed off at behavioural nightmares with obsessive parents who take their child's side in every argument and blame everyone else (including SEN, EAL and generally anyone who gets in their child's way) for their child's problems.

janeite Tue 09-Jun-09 22:51:21

And you clearly have v good taste in music, Wonderstuff!

starlightexpress Tue 09-Jun-09 22:51:58

Janeite, I genuinely did "lol". Albeit with a desperate edge, verging on hysteria.

Goblinchild Tue 09-Jun-09 22:52:22

Lord, this forum moves fast!
My comments were addressed to gerontius.

Wonderstuff Tue 09-Jun-09 22:53:43

Why thank-you {love it when it gets all mutural appreciation)

steviesgirl are you serious? Would you like some fish to go with that big chip?

janeite Tue 09-Jun-09 22:54:39

Stevie's girl - such a helpful and well-considered response. Passes the vinegar.

GodzillasBumcheek Tue 09-Jun-09 22:55:06

GodzillasBumcheek LOLs at Janeite's attempts at self-narration grin

Sorry...got side-tracked.
Was about to offer moral support to the teachers.

I have two children with suspected SEN (dyslexia). After several years of tryiing they're finally getting tested so i am over the moon with the teachers who in their new school finally noticed!

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