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to have found the checkout assistant's reaction to my shopping hysterical?

(35 Posts)
JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:05:48

In tesco, have had some money through so was mooching and buying nice things for us all, magazines, a couple of toys nice snacks etc
Lovely 'granny' type checkout lady, having a natter with her about DD2's hair and DD1 being at school and them not having slept the ngiht before blah blah, when she suddenly stops midsentence, looks at what is in her hands, and then goes bright red and shoves the rest of my shopping through as fast as she possibly can.

To make it worse I hadn't clicked until we were leaving that that was why and I was still trying to talk to her saying 'I hope that they sleep tonight so I get some time to myself

What did I buy? Scarlet magazine (with free erotic book!)

misdee Mon 08-Jun-09 20:06:44


bigchris Mon 08-Jun-09 20:08:39


differentID Mon 08-Jun-09 20:10:30


FigmentOfYourImagination Mon 08-Jun-09 20:10:35


[cats bum mouth]

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:10:53

Bless her, she looked so shocked

Glad I didn't buy condomsgrin

BibiThree Mon 08-Jun-09 20:12:14

Go back to her checkout tonight and buy a jumbo tube of lubricating jelly and a bumper pack of battering. grin

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:12:28

Oh Figment, was it you?


BibiThree Mon 08-Jun-09 20:12:36

batteries even

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:13:32

wtf is battering?

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:25:49

xposts, thank god, I thought DH and I were missing out on something new theregrin

Kimi Mon 08-Jun-09 20:26:56

Go back to her checkout with .....
Bin bags, duct tape, small bag of oranges (tory mp style) 3lb of lard, 10 packs of condoms, 7 top shelve mags a DVD of the sound of music and 2 kippers, tell her its DHs lucky night grin

gemmiegoatlegs Mon 08-Jun-09 20:28:09

I thought yyou were referring to pankace batter! Now that shocked even me!

Overmydeadbody Mon 08-Jun-09 20:28:58

#Ohh what's scarlett magazine?

And can you report back when you've read the book as to whether or not it is any good? I am on thr hunt from some erotic fiction...

Sassybeast Mon 08-Jun-09 20:39:37

Ohhhh - I didn't know Tesco sold it......

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:44:46

It has a website here but I have never seent eh magazine, and certainly wasn't expecting it next to Prima and Instyle in my local Tesco's grin
Have had a flick, it is 20 short stories, so about 10-15 pages each, it's like fast forwarding the boring bits

<wonders if she is revealing too much>

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:45:30

Fuck. A flick through the book.

bruxeur Mon 08-Jun-09 20:49:06


I'm afraid I'll have to take your first answer...

scottishmummy Mon 08-Jun-09 20:50:13

at last,an amusing guess what the cashier did tale.

bless i wonder if she used sanitising hand gel after touching the filthy dirrrrrty book

princessmel Mon 08-Jun-09 20:52:24

lol at flick!!

Saltire Mon 08-Jun-09 20:53:09

Ones of my colleagues does the cats bum mouth when she has to serve anyone buying condoms, boxes of KY jelly, Durex Play massages oil,the durex play stuff or the vibrating ringshmm. Am tempted to buy the whole lot myself just to see what she says

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 20:53:27

Actually, having a look at the story titles is quite funny.
I mean, 'The Lady and the Highwayman' ok, bit Lady Chatterley but I can see where they are going, but 'Who's Been wearing Aunt Clarissa's Panties'?!?hmm

I don't think I want to read that....

scottishmummy Mon 08-Jun-09 20:58:29

mercy,what a double entendre "does cats bums mouth"


not to mention KY jelly,lube,vibrating rings

hell where is this fetishist supermarket.i struggle to find basics let alone a plethora of hanky panky itemswink

JackBauer Mon 08-Jun-09 21:09:42

I coudl almost see the thought bubbles.

But she looks so normal! She can't be one of those porn people!! She has a child!

LadyGlencoraPalliser Mon 08-Jun-09 21:12:32

I'm sorry, I need to know about Aunt Clarissa's panties. Who was wearing them?

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