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to be irritated by the way my sister encourages lack of motivation in nephew and niece?

(10 Posts)
deaconblue Sun 07-Jun-09 19:36:11

They are 10 and 13 and go to a school which is failing so imo need as much parental motivation as possible. She's driving me nuts with comments such as
"French is something you're either good at or not. If you're not, it doesn't matter how hard you try, you'll never get it" to niece who is struggling with french.
to nephew who currently thinks he'd like to join the army:
"go in as an officer, then you can tell people what to do and never have to take orders from anyone else"
They are going to Australia on holiday and visiting the Great Barrier Reef
"we're not going to snorkle on the reef. I didn't like it last time and the kids won't either"
These were just today. There are many more examples.
I know they are her kids and in that sense I am unreasonable but it does irritate me.

JessJess3908 Sun 07-Jun-09 19:38:35

YANBU - what a miserable mum. Was your mum like that? I mean can you see where she's getting it from?

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 07-Jun-09 19:40:06

beak out

deaconblue Sun 07-Jun-09 19:44:46

I do keep beak out publicly as don't like it when she criticises what I do with mine. Just get privately irritated. My mum was very pro education with me (1st born) but much less so with her. I remember mum making a big deal over sister's dancing etc rather than school stuff although she was bright (got 8 GCSEs etc and could have done A levels but didn't like school)

pointydog Sun 07-Jun-09 19:46:59

lol @ dogs. I agree with her though.

I'd probably chip in with my own opinion every now and then, since you could have a good conversation with a 10 and 13 yr old about such things.

ahundredtimes Sun 07-Jun-09 19:48:20

Oh I posted my fascinating insight on the other thread. hang on

ahundredtimes Sun 07-Jun-09 19:48:47

Oh she sounds defensive to me. Do you think she is?

I think it's that 'i'm going to put us and learning French down and cross my arms and purse my lips and slightly put my nose in the air about it because I'm a bit insecure so am coming out fighting and judging.'

I'd go for all out endless flattery and see if it warms her up a bit.

'Oh but she's so clever, and so keen, and you've done such a great job with her - she'll definitely get french in the end, she's so keen and lovely, I think you're such a great mum.'

'oh did you not like it? I've always been WILDLY jealous that you did that snorkling on the reef. I'd love to do that. Am so jealous - I bet they'd love it you know.'

pointydog Sun 07-Jun-09 19:51:00

two options then.

Beak out or Butter up

ahundredtimes Sun 07-Jun-09 19:51:37

butter up will be more fun, and you can report back and everyfink. I think she'll open up like a flower.

Louby3000 Sun 07-Jun-09 19:53:09

My SIL is the same though my nephews are younger, and my neice younger still. It seems like she doesnt have much faith in their abilities and it makes me so sad, cos I trully believe you can do anything you put your mind to.
Since it is your sis, I would get your beak in, but as another poster said, talk to the kids themselves and just give them another view point.

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