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to think that if the bus is full then small children could sit on their parents laps?

(31 Posts)
cairnterrier Sat 06-Jun-09 20:34:51

what do people think about this? Caught a bus yest w DH. Beautifully behaved family of Mum, Dad, 2yrs approx child and baby in a buggy.

The way that the buggy was parked blocked off 2 seats and the 2 year old was sitting next to his father on another seat. There were at least 5 people standing at the time as the bus was full.

Couldn't the 2 year old have sat on Dad's/Mum's lap? Could the buggy have been folded up to allow other people access to the seats blocked off?

Is it too difficult to do this with small children? Genuine q. as pg for first time so no experience.

rubyslippers Sat 06-Jun-09 20:36:10

i think you say to the parent would you mind terribly if your LO sat on your knee please?

I always sit DS on my knee on the tube when it is crowded

cairnterrier Sat 06-Jun-09 20:36:29

Sorry, it sounds as though I was being sarcastic about the 'beautifully behaved bit'. The 2 children were wonderfully behaved and the 2 year old was chatting away about things outside the window!

independiente Sat 06-Jun-09 20:46:31

YANBU. At all! I always sit my child on my lap if no more seats and an adult is standing. Totally badly-brought-up not to IMO.

IlanaK Sat 06-Jun-09 20:49:29

Was there a child in the buggy? It is not clear from what you said. If so, then yabu to expect them to take it out and fold. yanbu to expect them to put child on lap though. However, I often get looks for sitting my children down on seats (while I stand as there are not enough seats). People think children should stand and offer there seats to others. I totally disagree as they are less stable and much more likely to fall when the bus stops. If an elderly person gets on and needs a seat, I think the younger sdults should stand and offer seats, not the children.

cory Sat 06-Jun-09 20:53:25

I always took child out of buggy and folded it when they were little, if the bus was anywhere near full. Not really that hard.

Things are much harder now, when I have a wheelchair to deal with. And even harder when dd is not using her wheelchair, as her disability is then invisible, so she looks like the person that really should be offering her seat.

Noonki Sat 06-Jun-09 21:00:25


katiestar Sun 07-Jun-09 11:26:14

I wouldn't sit a toddler on my lap on a bus (not that I ever go on buses ,but hypothetically)If the bus stopped suddenly you would crush him/her against teh seat in front.I would sit them next to me with my arm round them.
I would have just asked if they could budge the pushchair up a bit for a minute while I got into the seat.

plantsitter Sun 07-Jun-09 11:34:31

This is a personal bugbear of mine. YES children should go on their parents' laps if other people want to sit down. I agree a parent with a child has priority over someone without but I would've thought sitting with child on knee firmly holding on is safer than child in seat as the child has further to fly forward in an accident.

Bonneville Sun 07-Jun-09 11:47:10

Yes Plantsitter I also think its much safer with the toddler being firmly held on the knee rather than in a seperate seat (even if the bus is NOT full).

sarah293 Sun 07-Jun-09 11:47:46

Message withdrawn

dorisbonkers Sun 07-Jun-09 11:50:59

When I lived in Singapore and was heavily pregnant this used to wind me up. Whole rows on the tube of families with 4-5 year old kids staring up at me standing. Mind you, it's crap for manners. People on the tube sitting in a row would all fall down with narcolepsy. Once a man threw a newspaper over my head to 'chope' a seat I was heading for.

Saltire Sun 07-Jun-09 12:16:42

It doesn't bu me as much as pensioners who sit in one seat and then fill the one enxt to them with bags and shopping trolleys. Then they glower at you if you ask tehm to move.
"Well I'm a pensioner" is what they say and I say "yes but your bags aren't are they and they haven't paid for a seat " and under my breath I say "and neither have you"

123andaway Sun 07-Jun-09 12:34:04

YABU to expect them to fold the buggy. The space the buggy goes in is allocated for a buggy/wheelchair.

YANBU to expect the child to sit on their parents knee. I still sit my 6 year old (who I have paid for a ticket for) on my knee if the bus is full so that someone else can sit down.

expatinscotland Sun 07-Jun-09 12:37:42

yet another reason i'm glad we don't use public transport anymore.

Lucia39 Sun 07-Jun-09 12:39:37

You are not being unreasonable it is simple good manners!

Now where was that thread about good manners being over-rated? grin

BoffinMum Sun 07-Jun-09 12:43:16

Um, if someone wanted a seat why didn't they ask the family to move the buggy? They may have been oblivious to the situation.

My personal bugbear is pg women who suffer in silence standing on the tube and then rant on MN about it. I guarantee that if you pluck up courage to mention you are pg, it will take no more than three requests for a seat before someone gives one to you with a smile.

sarah293 Sun 07-Jun-09 12:43:35

Message withdrawn

BoffinMum Sun 07-Jun-09 12:44:14

But maybe not in Singapore, of course.

Saltire Sun 07-Jun-09 12:50:55

Some of the buses I get have got the wheelchair/buggy space, but not all of them. So you can sometimes get the aisle blocked by shopping trolleys, buggys(folded or otehrwise) and huge bags of shopping. There are big compartments at the front of all the buses for storing these things,b ut no one uses them

dorisbonkers Sun 07-Jun-09 12:51:44

My mandarin wasn't all that great.

And I think why pregnant women suffer in silence and then moan is because they want to avoid confrontation. I know when I had that guy chope his seat and barge past me after a 12 hour working day feeling like shit I was almost in (angry) tears. Having any argy bargy would have been awful when I was that sensitive and hormonal.

I did ask for seats on several occasions and since I carry my baby in a wrap often had to ask. I got a mixed response, ranging from someone getting up to someone suddenly falling asleep

Singapore's transport system is notorious for its manners towards pregnant women.

expatinscotland Sun 07-Jun-09 12:52:27

LOL @ Salty, 'Yes, but your bags aren't and they didn't pay for a seat.'


Saltire Sun 07-Jun-09 12:55:12

Expat - I can't take all the credit for that one, it was a mumsnetter who said it on a similar thread to this one ages ago. I read it and thought "yes, I have to use that"

BlameItOnTheBogey Sun 07-Jun-09 12:56:53

BoffinMum - I disagree with you. I will never again ask for a seat after being yelled at when heavily pregnant for politely asking to it down. Middle age man told me that I was not entitled to a seat and that I should not travel in rush hour if I wanted to sit down because 'some of us have to get to work you know' (why he thought I was wearing a suit is beyond me). Everyone else pretended not to notice. No one offered me a seat and I got off at the next stop to cry.


Bucharest Sun 07-Jun-09 13:01:58

I'm ancient and was always made to give up my seat on buses for adults when I was a child, whether they be pregnant, old, or just grown ups.

I now automatically plop my 5 yr old onto my knee if a bus or train is getting full.

Rofl at Saltire...

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