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already know I am a bit, but want to know what the schoolyard mums are thinking...

(102 Posts)
clemette Sat 06-Jun-09 15:52:06

I have made a career decision which is essentially a very selfish one. I am happy with it, DH is supportive, and my friends are positive, but I would like to know what other mums feel about it, so I can be prepared for whatever is said to my face (or behind my back) by those I might meet in the future (DD due to start full-time school in January)...

I have two children, DD is 4 and DS is 16 months. With DD I worked fulltime as a teacher and have since gone down to 4 days a week. I enjoy work, earn a good wage and my children are happy at nursery. I have decided, however, to give up work to go back to university full-time to do a medical degree. This is my childhood dream and it has taken a great deal of work to get onto the course. But it does mean I will be away from my children full-time durin the week (and in 2 years I won't get the school holidays off) without bringing any money into the house.

So - will I attract more negative judgements than I do already as a WOHM? Can such selfishness ever be justifiable to mums that I don't know well?

KathyBrown Sat 06-Jun-09 15:53:24

I think you'll blow their socks off, they will be massively impressed. If not they are all jealous. Go girl grin

cornsilk Sat 06-Jun-09 15:55:15

Who cares what they think? Go for it!

Northernlurker Sat 06-Jun-09 15:56:51

I suspect people will judge you but they won't dare say anything directly so screw them! This is a great commitment you are making and if you don't do it now you never will. Remember - plenty of forces mums are away from their children for longer than a week and it is not at all unusual for dads in all walks of life to work away all week. It's not easy on you and the family but it is perfectly possible.

TheProfiteroleThief Sat 06-Jun-09 15:57:08

I would not give it a thought. People will either admire you or feel you don't have a lot of time with your children, or possibly both. Nowt is going to influence that.

ThePhantomPlopper Sat 06-Jun-09 15:57:27

Go for it. I would love to do a medical degree, but circumstances won't allow.

KirstyJC Sat 06-Jun-09 15:57:32

I think they will all be very jealous that you are doing something so exciting!

I quit my job when DS1 was 10 months old and went to Uni to train as an OT - it was the best thing I could have done!

I had lovely long summer hols with him for his first few years, and then went to work full time as an OT when he was 4.

Good luck and have a great time - well done!!

LadyAga Sat 06-Jun-09 15:57:33

I can't believe you care about what other people think/say about you behind your back, especially by mums at the school gate.

Live your life by your own standards and no-one elses. Besides, with all that going on I doubt you will have brain space to think about such things.

Good luck to you, I hope you are very happy and successful and that your friends and family are proud.

MaggieBee Sat 06-Jun-09 15:58:31

If it suits you do it. Half of the so-called feud between mothers is all blown up by the media to sell newspapers.

clemette Sat 06-Jun-09 15:58:59

Thank you
Just to clarify, I will still be at home in the week, I just mean I will be at university full-time every day...

I don't really mind if they judge me, but fore-warned is forearmed I suppose. I feel comfortable with my decision to be a WOHM, but suspect this would be viewed differently...?

AlistairSim Sat 06-Jun-09 15:59:07

You'll be a medical student, they will be asking you medical questions every time they see you, shoving little Jonty's rash under your nose and demanding an on the spot diagnosis.

grin

crokky Sat 06-Jun-09 16:01:29

I would not judge you, I would be impressed. I am far too tired to something like that grin.

MrsBadger Sat 06-Jun-09 16:03:32

sod 'em

remember 90% of WOHMs are not teachers, why should you apologise for not being one?

and besides if you are working FT you won't ever be at the school gates to be judged anyway

stay in touch with the nursery-gate parents you know at the mo (who are all WOHPs else they wouldn't be at nursery), work hard and revel in your success.

piscesmoon Sat 06-Jun-09 16:11:47

I would be impressed. Teaching isn't as child friendly as it appears anyway.

blueshoes Sat 06-Jun-09 16:13:14

Clemette, what happens after you got your medical degree. Will you start a housemanship (sorry, if this is not the right term in the UK) in a hospital, doing shifts etc.

In other words, does the time commitment (fine in itself) end with the degree or is it just the start?

I don't have any rosetinted views about the demands of the medical profession, as many of my close relatives are doctors.

thisisyesterday Sat 06-Jun-09 16:24:20

hello clemette, I know you from erm, another parenting site that I recently left...?

anyway, I just wanted to say GOOD FOR YOU! fulfilling a childhood dream must feel SO good, and I really wish you all the luck in the world.

I don't think anyone would, or should, judge you. it's no different from the thousands of women who work full time, if you're worried about the implications for the children?
andf as for not bringing money in... well that's only temporary isn't it?
and money, as we all know, is not the be all and end all.

I am really chuffed for you and I do not think you're being selfish at all

princessmel Sat 06-Jun-09 16:26:42

I would be impressed but worried for you about missing your family. I would not be able to cope.

simplesusan Sat 06-Jun-09 16:29:19

Well done Clemette.
Don't worry about what others think, hope all goes well.

flatcapandpearls Sat 06-Jun-09 16:33:08

Well done and stop worrying what others think.

clemette Sat 06-Jun-09 16:41:50

blueshoes - the time commitment becomes much heavier when I gein my foundation years (what used to be called junior doctor). By then I will be earning again though and DH will cut back on his working hours to pursue his dream (he wants to be an illustrator).
I do worry that I am still in rose-tinted world but am still very excited.

Thanks everyone for your comments - if the whole world was like you I would never get people making barbed comments like "where does DD get her lovely manners from, it can't be from you given you hardly see her..."

MrsWeasley Sat 06-Jun-09 16:44:12

I second what KathyBrown said grin

flatcapandpearls Sat 06-Jun-09 17:10:59

I think id your dh cuuts down his working hours there is nothing for people to comment about.

purepurple Sat 06-Jun-09 17:13:23

go for it!
I would be impressed and would not judge you at all.

There is nothing like having a life plan

dixia Sat 06-Jun-09 17:21:13

I don't think that anyone that matters would be anything but impressed and quite possibly in awe!

If anyone makes any comments then they clearly bored with their own lives and have nothing better to do than to make other people feel bad.

smudgethepuppydog Sat 06-Jun-09 17:27:53

I'd be in awe of anyone who went back to Uni to study medicine with two small children on tow.

Good luck to you, I hope you do really well in your chosen career.

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