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To have had enough and finally called the police? involving ds1 and school.

(48 Posts)
TheLadyEvenstar Fri 05-Jun-09 23:33:02

Get a call today from my mum who works in ds1's school ( I have just got new number and school not got it yet) to tell me ds1 has been hurt. I can hear him crying in the background, saying Nanny it really hurts.

She says, "TLES, if you had sent him to school like this he would be taken away by SS and you would be arrested"

Anyway I go to the school and find ds1 with his arm badly scratched. I went to the head teacher and she asked ds1 what had happened.

He says the girl has been making comments towards him and threatening to "get him" and at lunch time after he had taken his glasses up to class he came back down and she came from round the corner at the bottom of the stairs and laid into him. He has scrathes all up his arm some quite deep.

The head teacher has the attitude of "well she is upstairs very upset because she is in trouble and you must have done something to upset her and cause her to do this. She doesn't have behaviour problems which would be the only reason anyone would do something like this unprovoked"

DS1 again said he had done nothing to her and was told again he must have.

When I think about the amount of times I have left the school to deal with things and they have gone unresolved I know I was not unreasonable to call the police in on this one.

Turbomouth Fri 05-Jun-09 23:37:04

Well I think I'm right in saying your son has been assulted by this other pupil, so yes I think you are well within your rights! The schools attitude is disgustingangry

3littlefrogs Fri 05-Jun-09 23:38:00

Photograph the injuries and see your gp or A&E to have the injury documented. Once it heals you will have no evidence.

I have experience of this, it really is important.

TheLadyEvenstar Fri 05-Jun-09 23:39:50

If this had been the first incident maybe I would not have done. Yesterday he was surrounded by 6 or 7 children while another kicked him repeatedly. And his class teacher said "I dealt with that" Funny how the other children are always right. It pisses me off. don't get me wrong ds1 is far from perfect but he cannot always be the one in the wrong.

3littlefrogs Fri 05-Jun-09 23:40:39

Keep an incident diary. Record everything.

pjmama Fri 05-Jun-09 23:40:41

Your son has been assaulted and if you're unhappy with the way the school are dealing with it, then yes you have done the right thing. It sounds like more than just the usual kids shoving each other around a bit. How old is your ds?

HerBeatitudeLittleBella Fri 05-Jun-09 23:40:48

Every Child Matters?

What did the police say?

HerBeatitudeLittleBella Fri 05-Jun-09 23:41:24

How exactly did she deal with it (the kicking incident yesterday)?

MillyR Fri 05-Jun-09 23:41:34

This is awful. Can you move him to another school?

Yurtgirl Fri 05-Jun-09 23:43:09

That is awful ladyevenstar shock
I wouldnt be at all surprised if the girl is a very good actress and knows very well how to get away with such behaviour

The head is a fool for believing her tears over the evidence of your ds's arm

Thats two threads I have read on here in 10 minutes involving bullied mn kids and headteachers that dont believe them (fluffybunnygonebad's thread) shock

TheLadyEvenstar Fri 05-Jun-09 23:50:17

I am at the moment trying to send the pics i took of his arm to the laptop

captainpeacock Fri 05-Jun-09 23:57:47

You most certainly have a right to take this further if you don't feel the school have dealt with it in the correct manner. I recently had an incident with my ds where he was assaulted on the way home from school. The school dealt with it very, very well. If they hadn't I would have most certainly gone to the police. It could have, and indeed was, said that my ds did something to provoke the attack, but the school took the opinion that no matter what my ds had or hadn't done there was no need for what took place. If the school continue to ignore you then go to the police and show them up as well. Unless everybody, including schools are willing to stand up to these bullies they will continue on to worse things.

TheLadyEvenstar Sat 06-Jun-09 00:05:06

Captain, the school are forever blaming ds1 for things that happen.

captainpeacock Sat 06-Jun-09 00:11:25

Well if the school are stupid enough to keep churning out rubbish like that then they deserve their part in the incident to be highlighted when you speak to the police. Like I say, ds's school dealt with his incident admirably, but I hear on many occassions that schools just won't take a hard stance on this behaviour and it really doesn't teach the bullies a good lesson. Persevere with your complaint and make sure that it is all kept on record. I'm sorry that you have had to go through your child being hurt and then have further insult added by being apportioned blame and I really hope that you get this situation sorted out. Your ds needs you to be strong and fight for him, which I am sure you will do anyway.

mrshippy Sat 06-Jun-09 00:16:03

Definately. What your mum said was absolutely right. If your son had been assulted like that on the street, at home, in a shop, in an office anywhere else then it would be regarded as totally unacceptable and the police would more than likey be called. The fact that he is young and it was at school makes bugger-all difference in my opinion 'just because that's what kids do'. Kids should be taught right from the word go that it is unacceptable. Actually, it makes him more vunerable and school has a greater obligation to resolve it. It doesn't matter how old you are, who hurts you, or where the do it. It isn't acceptable and if the school wont take it seriously, good on you for calling the police. I hope it resolves thing and I hope your son is OK. x x x

TheLadyEvenstar Sat 06-Jun-09 00:16:07

The comment about the girl not having behavioural problems struck me as odd as this girl was caught on cctv using the girls toilet floor to take a ** on.

sleepyeyes Sat 06-Jun-09 00:25:58

YANBU I can't imagine how frightened your son must be at school or how worried you must be when he is there, you have done the right thing. Your son is being assaulted on a regular basis and the HT and school are far to lazy and stupid to do anything about it, well done for taken control.

Are you going to contact the LA about the HT attitude?

TheLadyEvenstar Sat 06-Jun-09 00:54:43

Sleepy the LA?

Tortington Sat 06-Jun-09 00:59:23

local authority?

local education authority

TheLadyEvenstar Sat 06-Jun-09 01:00:19

Custardo LOL Thanks am having a blond day

pjmama Sat 06-Jun-09 09:07:27

Just picking up on a couple of things you've mentioned... You say the school are "forever blaming ds1" and their first reaction was to assume he'd provoked and that he's "far from perfect".

There is obviously absolutely no excuse for the violence that is being directed at him, and I agree that the assault needs to be dealt with as a separate issue as its totally unacceptable under any circumstances. However, perhaps it might help him to get out of this awful situation he's finding himself in with the other children if you could sit down with the head and teacher(s) to discuss any difficulties he's having and see what could be improved? It just sounds like there might be underlying problems and there definitely seems to be a communication breakdown between you and the school?

Bucharest Sat 06-Jun-09 09:15:20

YANBU and it's irrelevant whether the other child has behavioural problems or not. Your child has been assaulted and the school seems to prefer washing their hands of the problem and using the old, tired 6 of one and half a dozen of the other rubbish, presumably so they don't have to fill forms in.

If the other child does have behavioural problems then she should be receiving the care and attention for them which she obviously is not if this kind of thing is going on while she is at the school.

Good luck and hope your son is recovering.

saintmaybe Sat 06-Jun-09 09:21:00

Pretty weird logic though for them to say that as she doesn't have behavioural problems she can't possibly have done something that would indicate a behavioural problem.

Have you asked for a copy of their bullying policy/procedure? If so what does it say they should be doing?

junglist1 Sat 06-Jun-09 09:31:58

Well done to you! Schools get away with this crap all the time, you've taken power back as a parent, they weren't doing their jobs properly. While you're at it, get your MP to write a letter supporting you. Now the girls parents will be forced to do something as well as the school. I'm in a good mood now, thanks!

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