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to want to scream at my sister's friend (and her DH) that this is wrong wrong wrong!!!

(13 Posts)
sparklefrog Thu 04-Jun-09 22:21:37

Sister's friend is 6 months pregnant, expecting her 5th baby, and her DH and herself smoke. Friend smokes approx 40 cigs a day and her DH smokes cannabis!!! In the fucking house!!! And in public!!! She told my sis she smokes in public as an act of defiance sometimes!!!! angry

She is 6 months pregnant FFS!!! angry

Her reasoning for not stopping or cutting down is that none of her other 4 children have suffered any adverse effects, and she will be smoking in a different room once baby is born, and will ask DH to smoke in a different room too.
As if a different room is going to make much difference at all.

I feel that I do not want to ruin my sister's friendship with this woman, although god only knows why she wants to be friends with her, but I cannot bring myself to even speak to this woman. angry

My sis doesn't smoke and wont take her children to this woman's house, but says I am wrong to say anything, because I might upset this woman and her DH and it is none of my business, but I feel so angry.

mrsboogie Thu 04-Jun-09 22:24:55

Well, it is totally wrong what they are doing, but I guess your sister has a point. Anyway what can you do? they don't care what affect it is having on their baby so there's nothing anyone else can say that will change their minds.

YANBU but you should leave well alone.

thumbwitch Thu 04-Jun-09 22:25:34

YANBU to think that it is wrong, nor to want to shout at her, but you would be U if you actually did it.

Although if you feel that strongly about it you could consider shopping them to Social Services or the police.

If it's your sister's friend, why do you have to have any interaction with her anyway? Can't you just make sure you never see her? Your sister does have a point, it really isn't your business, but if you honestly think the children are going to suffer then do what you feel is right, WITHOUT shouting at her - she obviously knows what she should do and is behaving in a very teenagerish defiant way.

Overmydeadbody Thu 04-Jun-09 22:27:02

YANBU to want to scream at her, but you can't. There is no point getitng involved, they won't listen to you anyway.

WinkyWinkola Thu 04-Jun-09 22:28:24

It's her body. Her baby. Her children. It's her choice.

Nothing you can do about it. Not that I'm condoning it.

Noonki Thu 04-Jun-09 22:30:53

but it's not like the baby has a choice is it.

Selfish bitch and bastard.

motherpi Thu 04-Jun-09 22:31:17

It isn't your business to say anything but, ugh, how dreadful.

BlackEyedDogstar Thu 04-Jun-09 22:32:08

how dreadful. You know it has become so unacceptable nowadays to force smoke on our babies that I probably would say something. You would be making a protest on behalf of the baby and the friends other kids in her house wouldn't you.

agree with mrs Boogie, it most likely would have no effect whatsoever - but then again it might.

MaggieBee Thu 04-Jun-09 22:32:27

Terrible. I just couldn't bear to be friends with somebody who did that, because I couldn't watch. Too upsetting.

WinkyWinkola Thu 04-Jun-09 22:32:33

No, the baby doesn't have a choice. It's very sad and the woman sounds to be very ignorant. But what can you do? It's not illegal.

sparklefrog Thu 04-Jun-09 22:37:30

I know you are all right, it wouldn't make any difference. I just had to vent about it. I avoid this woman like the plague, only sometimes I am at my sisters when she turns up. I leave very quickly afterwards.

I am of the opinion that smoking in an enclosed space where children are present, including your own home, is unnecessary and extremely harmful to yourself and your children, but the poor children don't have a choice to walk away, so in my mind, it is equal to child abuse and should definitely be made illegal.

barnsleybelle Thu 04-Jun-09 22:39:21

Despite the fact that it's wrong it's none of your business i'm afraid.

JenniPenni Thu 04-Jun-09 23:03:42

Those poor poor kids

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