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AIBU?

TO BE REALLY P****** OFF AT THIS OTHER MOTHER ??

53 replies

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 11:37

Hi all,

Ok, everyday I take the children at a one oclock club (I'm a childminder). It's a really nice place and the children love it !!

But, there is child, he must be between 3 and 4 who is always bothering the other children. I mean he hits the little one, he runs after them, he pushed them down the slide etc.. I see it because I look after the children, they never left completely unsupervised even if its a closed place, it's secure etc..and I also play with them. This mum spend her time sitting on her bum, shatting to her mates, oh yes sometimes, she sees her son misbehaving, and she goes and tell off her son by saying : My love you shouldn't do that and then she goes back to her seat and if nothing happens..And he carries on..on being brutal..I mean shouldn't she discipline her son ?? I told her once and it really went on death ears !!!I really cant take anymore the fact that my little ones are being wacked over the head by this other child..I have started a dialogue, she doesnt want it, what should I do ??? I still want to go there, after all we have done nothing wrong, why shouldn't I enjoy a place 5 minutes from my place ??

OP posts:

Report

oliverboliverbutt · 04/06/2009 11:40

If you have already spoken to the mother, the next time he hits or pushes a child, tell him not to do that again. Not yell at him, but very sternly tell him that is unacceptable behavior.
I really think it is ok for other parents to talk to a child who is misbehaving if the parents are clearly uninterested.

roulade · 04/06/2009 11:40

YANBU unfortunately people like this are everywhere!

MorningTownRide · 04/06/2009 11:41

She's shatting? And she has death ears?

What kind of One O'clock club is it??

ssd · 04/06/2009 11:42

mums like this really drive you nuts

I'd go straight to the child, tell him off yourself, if the mum doesn't like it she'll need to get off her arse then

saintmaybe · 04/06/2009 11:43

PMSL MorningTown!

bunnyrabbit · 04/06/2009 11:43

YANBU If this was me I would very loudly ask him where his mummy was and exclaim that you're sure his mummy wouldn't like him hurting other children and you're sure she will explain to him that it's not acceptable.

And I do mean LOUDLY

BR

MrsMattie · 04/06/2009 11:44

I wouldn't get in a tizz about it. Tell the child off yourself. My 4 yr old is boisterous and I am quite happy for others to tell him off if they see something I don't. If the mother genuinely doesn't do anything when her son hits/pushes (which I seriously doubt - in my experience most parents try their best) say something to her. No need to turn into handbags at dawn.

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 11:48

I have spoke to him sternly a lots of time ! Yesterday, he was trying to suffocate a little girl (not even 2). And the mum carried on chatting..

Our one oclock provides garden chairs from mum and carers..They consider the one clock for them to have a break..Maybe I'm wrong but that's not really the point of that ??

They are all cliquey, they put their chairs in a long row abd barely move the whole time they are there...This mum of this child in particular...

One day he kicked my little girl in the back, she saw it, she told him to say sorry but he ran away laughing and she left it at that...I mean come on..

If my children were behaving like that, Ill go home to make them understand that it is unacceptable..

OP posts:

oliverboliverbutt · 04/06/2009 11:51

I can't stand parents like that.

Have a word with the people who work at the club. If he is strangling other children surely they would talk to his mother and warn her he would not be allowed back!

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 11:52

Mrs hattie- I agree with you, it sounds so trivial but I'm not there to police other children, I have 3 on my own to look after, entertain, etc and protect from this little shit child

OP posts:

Bucharest · 04/06/2009 11:53

Definitely do the loud voice thing. I do it at parties in soft play areas all the time.... "does anyone know where this child's mummy is? I need to talk to her right now!" (really shouty!)
I'd also tell the child off myself. Firmly, kindly, but in a take-no-shit kind of way.

fledtoscotland · 04/06/2009 11:54

YANBU. our local soft play has an area for under 2's within the main play area. We have the same problem with lots of mums who get a coffee and let their little brats darlings trample all over the babies and push them over. the mums just sit there with their coffee and leave the staff to deal with their kids.

I've complained to the staff and the parents as well as remind the children that they are in the baby area.

in the end I dont go anymore which is a shame as its a lovely place which is ideal for wet afternoons and DS1 loved the huge ball pool and slides but am totally sick of DS2 being knocked over and kicked.

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 11:54

I mean the purpose of club like that is to play with the kids/look at what they are doing as they are not far from you, no ? You do not seat on your arse for 2 hours while your child hurt other children...

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oliverboliverbutt · 04/06/2009 11:57

Well, I never followed my kids around at the softplay places, because we were together all the time, I saw this as their time to play on their own and lame friends.

HOWEVER, I always had my eye on them to make sure they were playing nicely and behaving appropriately. If they weren't, I'd know it and THEY would know it.

But some parents do look at it as temporary babysitting and don't bother at all.

oliverboliverbutt · 04/06/2009 11:58

MAKE friends even! although sometimes they did make some lame ones!

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 11:58

I think I'm going to have another chat with this lazy lady...and carry on telling off her son !! But I'm telling you, I dont impress him anymore, he doesnt care.

OP posts:

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 12:01

Oliver-that's what I do but I have toddlers so I'm constantly looking at them..I'm not going to give up this place because of one child and will take some new dispositions.

OP posts:

oliverboliverbutt · 04/06/2009 12:04

You shouldn't give it up. no way!
Have another chat with the mum and if she still isn't interested and he is behaving this way still, then I would talk seriously with the people who run the club.
Start documenting how often/what he does so you can back it up.

This sort of thing used to drive me nuts at the softplay.

Unfortunately, the kid is probably the way he is because his mama not only ignores him there, but everywhere else too.

NationalFlight · 04/06/2009 12:06

Hi summerfruit how are you?

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 12:08

You are right oliver..If she ignores her son, how can she, she is a sahm..but any way..I'm going to keep a diary of his behaviour

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wahwahwah · 04/06/2009 12:27

There's always one... we went to a football class with one little horros who was always running wild, punching and kicking other kids... then he kicked the coach in the shins really hard for absolutely no reason. He did nothing about it, neither did the mother.

Fairynufff · 04/06/2009 13:36

I find it really hard to tell other peoples kids off even though I am strict with my own...I feel it is not my job or my responsibility.

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gabygirl · 04/06/2009 13:39

My children are pretty 'handy' and hot tempered with each other at home, but have never pushed, hit or bitten another child at school or nursery. What makes some children so aggressive? If my children were doing this to other kids I'd be really worried.

Summerfruit · 04/06/2009 13:40

Fairynufff-I know and I dont like it but if you see your child being kicked by another one, believe you'll say something...No way, I'm going to let this happened unless the other mother is there first. It's also my job as a mother/childminder to protect my children.

OP posts:

Fairynufff · 04/06/2009 13:49

Summerfruit - I have seen this on numerous occasions and I tend to just pull my child away and tend to them - I simply couldn't tell another child off. My DH on the other hand...

I think I'm just a deluded idealist that thinks all parents should be responsible for their own.

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