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Strange behaviour of old family friend

(14 Posts)
NationalFlight Thu 04-Jun-09 10:17:48

I've known this man since I and his daughter were kids - we used to play together, our parents are friends etc.

He's retired, friendly enough but a bit odd I suppose. The other week he rang me wanting some help looking for some out of print books. I'm used to ebay so agreed to help, he came round we had a chat and I found the books for him. These are not just ordinary books though. They're weirdy, sci fi erotica hmm from the 1970s.

He first mentioned it about a year ago when we were neighbours and I thought at the time, why not get them yourself, you have a computer? But anyway after he asked again I assumed he didn't know how to use it for that kind of thing and the books duly arrived last week.

He came to collect them as he said it was a surprise for his wife, and a bit hush hush etc and how pleased she would be, as they used to read them together all those years ago.

Anyway while he was here he started talking about chastity belts, and told me to look it up on google, which I did all the time a bit hmm and after that it was 'can you search for fiction related to this' and I started to feel very uncomfortable, but laughed it off as him being a silly old twit.

He was getting very into the things that came up and asked me to print one of the stories, I reluctantly did this and then explained that I didn't want to search for this kind of thing as there are dodgy sites around that can harm your computer etc etc.

He left saying could I maybe print him some more hmm and I just shooed him out of the house.
Anyway he wanted more of the books which I agreed to get for him, and when they arrived I gave them to my mother to deliver as she is his neighbour and i didn't want him up here. He turned up today expecting his books (and possibly more dodgy downloads) and when I told him I'd given them to mum he was quite cross - saying she mustn't know, what if she had given them to his wife etc etc hmm so I reassured him my mum didn't know what they were about (she does, I had to confide in her as I was concerned) and he could go and collect them himself.

Mum reckons he might be starting to lose the plot a bit - and it's odd that he hasn't actually given the books to the person they were meant for iyswim.

I just feel yuck about it all. WIBU not to have him round any more? He doesn't give me any warning anyway but I might get a door viewer!!

CowWatcher Thu 04-Jun-09 10:22:38

you should only invite people into your home you are comfortable having in your home. If you feel uncomfortable about him, don't let him in. The only times I have felt uncomfortable being alone with a man it turned out ultimately that my misgivings were justified. You're in charge! Good luck.

coppertop Thu 04-Jun-09 10:33:59

It sounds to me as though the books are for him and he doesn't want his wife to know. The 'surprise for my wife' story is just to keep you from letting her know about them. This way it also doesn't show up on his internet history either.

I don't blame you for not wanting him around any more.

rasputin Thu 04-Jun-09 10:36:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sobanoodle Thu 04-Jun-09 10:36:59

send him along to the nearest internet cafe as your PC "is broken"...

Pingpong Thu 04-Jun-09 10:37:45

agree with coppertop - all a bit fishy!
I'd politely say you are not comfortable downloading these things for him and put an end to it all.

NationalFlight Thu 04-Jun-09 10:38:03

Thanks...it's difficult to refuse him entry (as it were) as we go back such a long time.

I've never found him easy to get on with but he has his moments and can be very sweet.
Do I mention it to his wife/daughter? Probably not I think but it worries me that he's got me involved in his 'little secret' (yes he said that) and I don't want them to think I am complicit if he admits it one day. Ugh.

NationalFlight Thu 04-Jun-09 10:39:10

I'm definitely getting a door viewer!! I've always wanted one of those.

AMumInScotland Thu 04-Jun-09 10:42:00

I think the easiest thing would be to say your computer security system had found a virus so you weren't going to go to those sites any more, and he'll have to go to an internet cafe if he wants to do it next time. I agree with others, they weren't for his wife at all, and he doesn't want her to know. If they're just "ordinary" porn and nothing really worrying, then I'd say it's up to him what he does, but I wouldn't want him using my PC for his little secret...

Gorionine Thu 04-Jun-09 10:50:43

I agree with CW and coppertop.

I would tell him I do not feel comfortable carryiong on doing this for him and you only helped the first time because you were lead to believe it was a one off thing to surprise is wife.

( I have lost your sofa thread, what did you decide eventually?)

NationalFlight Thu 04-Jun-09 10:55:20

Thankyou all.

Gorionine, yes went for it in the end - it's lovely!! grin
Thanks for asking!

NationalFlight Thu 04-Jun-09 10:58:29

(on profile!)

Gorionine Thu 04-Jun-09 11:04:49

It looks fab! You were right to go for it!

NationalFlight Thu 04-Jun-09 11:53:44

Thanks! smile

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