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to be upset about getting a letter telling me my ds is 1lb overweight?

(86 Posts)
Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 13:46:53

My ds (aged 5.5)was weighed and measured at school in March and I got the letter today telling me that he is 1lb overweight. I feel unreasonably upset. I have isshoos with weight myself and really ensure that my children eat healthily and are active. Ds is very slim and does not look overweight. I have told a few people this morning about the letter and they were horrified that he could be called overweight.

Please tell me I am being unreasonable and help me get some perspective on this. Or indeed, tell me what I should be doing (if anything) to help.

Tinker Wed 03-Jun-09 13:48:26

A lb? That has to just be a standard letter surely? If he's slim and eats decent food I wouldn't worry

Turbomouth Wed 03-Jun-09 13:49:19

angry for you angry

Hassled Wed 03-Jun-09 13:50:03

They sent you a letter saying he was 1lb overweight???? Are they insane? It's like one of those tax bills for 7p - not worth the time or effort. Just ignore, ignore and ignore some more.

There must be some scale, and letters will be automatically generated if you go above a random weight - no one can be seriously concerned about 1lb. He could probably shed that with a couple of bowel movements .

Stigaloid Wed 03-Jun-09 13:50:11

YANBU - Weight gudielines are merely guidelines. If he looks healthy and slim and is active and eats a balanced diet then ignore the letter. his weight could have been affected by anything - heck - if he hadn't done a pooh that day he would probably be 1-2lbs heavier than normal. Ignore the letter. they are sent by monkeys not reading what they are writing and sticking to red tape. If he was 5lbs or more overweight and looked it then i would address his diet, but if you feel he is active and healthy then ignore it. There was a similar story to this in the newspaper not too long ago - the school was called muppets by everyone!

MummyDragon Wed 03-Jun-09 13:50:12

Did I read this correctly? - he is ONE POUND overweight? OMG. YANBU. I'm not going to say any more as I feel extremely cross on your behalf angry

nickytwotimes Wed 03-Jun-09 13:50:43

1lb? FFS.

nikkid21 Wed 03-Jun-09 13:50:58

I would be upset at the letter but that because i'm completley against the school weighing my children for the sake of govenment box ticking. I actually refused to give permission for the weighing part of the health check.

WhereTheWildThingsWere Wed 03-Jun-09 13:51:18

I specifically said I did not want the letter for just this reason.

If he is slim and active and eats good food then I would bin it.

saadia Wed 03-Jun-09 13:54:26

That is utterly crazy, and YANBU. I am shocked. I'm sure my dss must be technically underweight but they are happy healthy and full of energy. I would ignore the letter, you know your ds best.

lljkk Wed 03-Jun-09 13:54:33

They have to draw the line somewhere, don't they? Should they only tell parents when children are 2, 3, 5 or 10 lbs overweight? Why would that be more logical? What if you decided years from now that he had a weight problem and then you traced his pudginess back to about this age and why didn't they then point out to you that he was just over the line into overweight territory? They can't win, can they?

Tell us his numbers or use the NHS children's BMI calculator to tell us what his percentile is. DS2 is 94th%tile on that link, which is nearly "obese", but I haven't had a letter, yet .

Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 13:56:42

Ok and breathe! Thanks everyone. I struggle big time with my own weight and so desperately don't want that for my own children. Hence, the reaction.

I actually opened the letter thinking 'oh this is interesting' as I haven't had ds measured since he was a baby and then did a double take at the big bold 'overweight' word staring back at me! His normal weight range is 2st 11 to 3 st 9lbs and he weighed 3 st 10lbs!

oodlesofpoodles Wed 03-Jun-09 13:59:11

Its nothing a trip to the toilet won't sort out grin. If you are sure that he is slim then ignore it. If you are at all concerned then take him to the GP and get him to remeasure. Parents are notoriously bad at being able to see if their own child is overweight and people you ask might be too polite to tell you what they really think.

troutpout Wed 03-Jun-09 14:04:22

Yabu in being upset about it... but can see if you are sensitive about this then you could easily be upset. (you know this already don't you smile)
Nobody is criticising you. Just hightlighting something you may want to keep your eye on...(they have no idea that you already are of course)
Put it in the bin

Morloth Wed 03-Jun-09 14:04:47

Madness, what is this weighing thing anyway? They haven't mentioned anything at DS's school. We toss him on the baggage weigher thingy at airports to see how heavy he is every year or so.

Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 14:05:17

I do agree lljkk that a line needs to be drawn somewhere. His percentile is 95th.

OrmIrian Wed 03-Jun-09 14:05:21

It isn't much but I seem to remember hearing somewhere that at primary school children should be fairly skinny, on the lower side of the BMI. If he is actually overweight even by just one lb I suppose it's better to let you know before it goes further?

But is he overweight for his age or his height? If he is tall anyway he can carry a little more than if he is small.

oodlesofpoodles Wed 03-Jun-09 14:07:46

Morloth - they are doing it in reception and Y6 but you can opt out.

Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 14:15:18

I am really sure that he is not fat.I don't have Mummy goggles about this. He was measured as 1.15m tall and weighing 3st 10lbs. He will be 6 in September and can still fit shorts for 4 year olds. Most of the trousers for 5-6 are far too big on his waist and all with adjuster and pulled to the tightest levels. His ribs are very visible back and front.

lljkk Wed 03-Jun-09 14:15:55

I used to have an eating disorder myself.
It is strange that DS2 is 'fat'; the other 3 DC are skinny and scrawny (like DH, and I am not a porker). They are all close in age, so raised in same environment and food.

Something genetic is different for DS2 and his build/weight. Maybe that is true for OP's DS, too? I think best that I know about it now for DS2, so I can try out different strategies for at least not letting him get bigger.

Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 14:16:20

OrmIrian, they do it in relation to height, age and sex.

BonsoirAnna Wed 03-Jun-09 14:18:25

Redazzy - I think the practice of sending out letters like this terrible and feel very sad for you.

BMI and growth curves in children are not a precise science. Without looking at the child concerned and his/her parents in the buff it is extremely difficult to make a correct assessment of the healthiness or otherwise of a child's weight. A paediatrician here in Paris told me that if a child has no tummy fat, that is all he cares about. Does your DS have fat on his tummy?

Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 14:19:51

That is interesting that you heard that primary school children should be skinny/lower end of bmi. Does anyone else have any information about that?

Also, with regards to being forewarned what should I do now? Should I seriously be looking at reducing portion size?

lljkk Wed 03-Jun-09 14:21:56

They say that the children's BMI isn't accurate for very muscular kids, maybe that's the case with your DS, Redazzy?

Because with DS2 (nearly 5) I cannot see his ribs, we do have waistband issues, he is in size3-4 trousers for length but often needs size 5-6 or 6-7 tops (to cover his chest). He's obviously barrel chested (a gnome in the making ).

He was only measured in May, maybe a letter will arrive in a few weeks with a worse BMI for him than I was already braced for (insert black humour smiley here).

Redazzy Wed 03-Jun-09 14:22:23

Thanks BonsoirAnna, his tummy is flat. His waist is quite narrow for his age.

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