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AIBU?

To suggest that my kids deserve better than me being constantly distracted all day by Mumsnet?

51 replies

OrangeSpacedust · 03/06/2009 10:09

Every day, I try to avoid putting on the PC, but always manage to come up with an excuse to myself ? bill to pay ... train time to check ... important email to send ... then inevitably, I get sucked in by MN (and other "recreational" sites that are really not compatible with caring for 2 young kids and stimulating them). I'm ALWAYS sneaking away to have a wee read ... my kids call me and I'll be like "Just a MINUTE!" ... "I'll be down in a second, just going to get some towels (yeah, and read about stuffed pasta and imaginary erections with a raised eyebrow)".

I just can't bloody turn it off, and know I have no self-discipline and am selling my kids short. I do love playing with them too, but when I'm down on my hands and knees building a train set or colouring in, I've still got my next fix of MN at the back of my mind, and am not giving them my full attention, there's no denying it. Any tips for a flaky distracted, NEGLECTFUL mummy for getting my arse in gear?

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flamingobingo · 03/06/2009 10:09
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Turbomouth · 03/06/2009 10:12

This doesn't sound good, I only joined yesterday and I think I've got similar symptoms.

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OrangeSpacedust · 03/06/2009 12:31

Any good suggestions? Purlease?? Cos I'm back (and have been about seventeen zillion times this morning since I started the thread ...) Muchas gracias.

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ChippingIn · 03/06/2009 12:33

No suggestions - but looking out for a solution too - tried going cold turkey yesterday - but to no avail! I'm also not getting any sleep as I am on here until all hours - I think MN are putting subliminal messages on the pages

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McDreamy · 03/06/2009 12:33

What you need to do is get yourself a laptop then you can mumsnet and play at the same time

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FabulousBakerGirl · 03/06/2009 12:35

I had to get DH to block me.

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ginnny · 03/06/2009 12:36

Get a job
I used to be like this, until I went back to work. Now I MN on work time and use my own time to spend with my dc.

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jambutty · 03/06/2009 12:36

Set yourself a time when you will go on the computer, and set a time limit - so after I've done (whatever) I'll take a cup of tea up and play on the computer for x minutes then after that I'll (list something else you need/want to do). Stick to it - and try to do it when your DCs are in bed/out. And if it works, tell me because I'm going to try it too! In fact, at 12.45 I'm going downstairs to load the dishwasher.

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FairMidden · 03/06/2009 12:38

It is easy done. I am bad for leaving the PC on during the day (although DP is often downloading stuff or running virus check or doing some other highly technical and probably unnecessary stuff). So I find myself bobbing on and off.

It is something you just need to make rules for yourself about though. I'll only come on if DS is asleep or engrossed in his train set or Duplo or something, which often means ten minutes or so. It's not a nice feeling when he's whingeing because I'm "busy". At least when I'm really busy with housework or cooking he can be involved.

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PMSLBrokeMN · 03/06/2009 12:38

Welcome to The Internet - it's not just an MN thing, I've been distracted for years now! I have an essay that has to be posted to reach uni on or before the 9th, I've barely started it, so what have I been doing all morning?

Seriously, if it's that bad maybe they can temporarily ban you or something, I've had admins do that for me on other forums when I haven't had the willpower!

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OrangeSpacedust · 03/06/2009 12:39

Ginnny, that would work if it was a practical solution, yes ? I'd be quite happy frittering away my work time on MN, but not my kids' time ? I feel that I'm wasting these precious days when they're young. I know, I just need to get a grip, but it's easier said than done.

Hoping someone comes along with a damning statistic like "90% of children whose mothers faff around all day on message boards end up antisocial machete murderers at the age of 15". Anyone got anything similar??

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Nahui · 03/06/2009 12:39

This reply has been deleted

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melmog · 03/06/2009 12:54

I'm with you all the way Orange Spacedust.

I can only prise myself away if we go out. Otherwise the laptop is just sitting there, looking all tempting!

I do shut it down though, to make turning it back on a bit more of a hassle. Didn't stop me just now though!

I was also doing really well with a 'no computer between 10 and 4' rule but lapsed this week. Will start again as actually the dc were less bored and we all had a much better day. Am going to turn it off after one cup of tea.

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RumourOfAHurricane · 03/06/2009 12:58

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Geocentric · 03/06/2009 13:02

I managed to stay ALL day away from MN yesterday , not even a peek!! Very addictive, although before MN I used to spend all my time googling random subjects. MN just sharpens my focus

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MummyDragon · 03/06/2009 13:05

Yep, laptop and wireless (and iPhone just in case of laptop failure) = bliss.

Face it, a happy mummy is probably more fun for the kids to be around than a bored, miserable one ...

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Oliveoil · 03/06/2009 13:08

just don't turn it on

play with your children

go on MN in the evening

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Turbomouth · 03/06/2009 13:11

Well I've only just got out of the shower because of MN, I clearly have no self control.

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OrangeSpacedust · 03/06/2009 13:13

Oliveoil, I knooooooooow! You're right! You make it sound so easy! Sigh.

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Oliveoil · 03/06/2009 13:14

put your laptop in a drawer under a pile of clothes

then you can't 'just pop on'

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FrannyandZooey · 03/06/2009 13:15

the only thing that worked for me was having another baby
now i really really am too busy to get on MN most of the time even though often i would dearly like to
it is the crack cocaine of the WWW
you may have to hide the pc in a cupboard and lock it?

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OrangeSpacedust · 03/06/2009 13:17

PS Have a laptop and wireless, but it's just as bad as the "fixed" PC imo. I'm still distracted, not giving them my full attention, coming out with things like "Hmmm? Just a minute ... just wait till I ... can you go and start it, then I'll come and join in ... hold on a second ..." Ad infinitum. Not great for making the DCs feel that I find what they're doing interesting.

Just need a kick up the backside I think.

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OrangeSpacedust · 03/06/2009 13:17

PS Have a laptop and wireless, but it's just as bad as the "fixed" PC imo. I'm still distracted, not giving them my full attention, coming out with things like "Hmmm? Just a minute ... just wait till I ... can you go and start it, then I'll come and join in ... hold on a second ..." Ad infinitum. Not great for making the DCs feel that I find what they're doing interesting.

Just need a kick up the backside I think.

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McDreamy · 03/06/2009 13:19

Having another baby only made it worse for me Franny! There's he conception threads to join, the antenatal, postnatal, sleep deprived, breast/bottle feeding threads. In a few weeks I will be on the weaning threads...........and so it goes on

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pooter · 03/06/2009 13:19

i get DH to take the laptop to work with him so i cant waste my time on it. Of course, if you have a pc, then that isnt very helpful - unless you are married to the hulk.

Could you make your husband the 'administrator' on your pc and get yourself blocked? Although it is useful to have access to it when you need to find something out.

How about getting a lock for the door of the room that its in, and your DH taking the key, or leaving it in a place that in an emergency you 'could' get to, but it would be a right pain in the arse, like the loft for example??

(says pooter, sat eating choccy and MN ing!)

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