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to be annoyed at parents who send their kids to school with packs of chocolates, sweets and other sugary items to be DISTRIBUTED among the children

(191 Posts)
OrangeFish Tue 02-Jun-09 16:22:09

I might be, or I might not... but I can not understand the rationale of sending their kids with all these sugared items with the sole intention to be distributed to the other children in the class.

Am I unreasonable in getting annoyed at parents assuming that it is OK to give sweets to children without their parents having a say on it? is it ok for the teacher to distribute them just as they leave the classroom at the end of the day? I understand she doesn't want to deal with a crowd of 6 years old on a chocolate high, but why to assume we, the parents would be ok with it?

This is a sensitive topic to me... in the best case scenario, my son would be left empty handed as he couldn't have some sweets without risking a severe allergic reaction; in the worst case scenario, if he eats/touches the wrong thing he may end up in hospital.... so I wanted to know what is the consensus for this as I'm obviously biassed due to DS's particular problems.

Do you think it is OK for sweets to be distributed freely at the door of the classroom?

saadia Tue 02-Jun-09 16:25:32

I don't think it's ok but luckily our school has a healthy eating policy so parents aren't allowed to send sweets, only fruit, on birthdays.

daftpunk Tue 02-Jun-09 16:25:43

is it a birthday thing?..

Tinker Tue 02-Jun-09 16:27:27

Small sweets/cakes for birthdays - yes,no problem with. You issue is your child's allergy surely, not that sweets are wrong. Isn't it?

FabulousBakerGirl Tue 02-Jun-09 16:27:37

I hate it!

Too often the kdis come out with some crap that has been handed out for someones birthday. Usually Haribo or some really chewy disgusting sweet, sometimes a lolly.

If mine want to take things in for their birthday I send mini milky ways or mini twixes. Much better imo.

TheOddOne Tue 02-Jun-09 16:27:42

Does the teacher know he can't eat them? It seems a bit harsh to not let 30 kids have a treat because one can't - but yes, you do need to make sure the teacher is well informed (i have to do this with DS1 and 'normal' suncream).

twoisplenty Tue 02-Jun-09 16:30:06

It is a birthday thing for my dd school. It seems that every week she comes out of class with sweets. And on Monday someone bought sweets from their half-term holiday.

It does annoy me because of the frequency of it. Sweets/chocolate etc is prevalent everywhere now, so children surely must think it's normal to have sweets all the time.

I don't think I'm being over sensitive about this. I want children to be healthy, and not lose their teeth.

Tinker Tue 02-Jun-09 16:31:22

Sweets once a weekish at school doesn't sound like all the time to me.

MummyDragon Tue 02-Jun-09 16:32:44

I must say it really annoys me too, and my kids don't have any allergies. I just don't think that anyone should be giving my kids food/treats that I haven't OK-d first. If that makes me a control freak so be it! wink

hannahsaunt Tue 02-Jun-09 16:32:45

Nothing like taking the joy out of sharing and celebrating ... not dissimilar to the homemade cakes at May fayre issue elsewhere. I think it's lovely that the birthday child can share on their birthday and not just receive. A small sweet or chocolate is a lovely treat. I do understand and am very sympathetic to food issues but here the class teacher double checks with each parent as the class is dismissed into the playground at the end of the school day.

TheDevilWearsPenneys Tue 02-Jun-09 16:33:53

Oh ffs, would you like it to be banned?

I read the 'no homemde cakes' thread earlier and thought it sickening.

Surely a treat once in a while is fine, do you eat only Organic local produce?

Fair enough re allergies but surely the teacher should know, and so why not leave a bag of sweets he can have at school for such eventualities?

FairLadyRantALot Tue 02-Jun-09 16:33:58

YABU generally speaking...can understand your worries though, if your child has allergic reactions...however, I suppose the school is aware of this and therefore will ensure he isn't given anything that could harm in?

Tbh, whilst I can see that other people have different values and opinions about sweets...if it is for a special occasions surely that is fine...but than, that is just my personal view...

bellavita Tue 02-Jun-09 16:34:14

I think it is nice for kids to take something in on their birthday, I would normally send -in a pack of funsize things.

There is one child in DS2's class who is allergic to nuts but that should not stop DS taking something in. The teacher is aware.

My children have a balanced healthy diet and if that's what the parent's choose to send in, then imo one sweet is not going to hurt their teeth - fruit is just as likely to do that.

OrangeFish Tue 02-Jun-09 16:34:35

I don't think they are birthday related, as most of the times it is a tray with chocolate broken into pieces. So no idea really what's on them, how thy have been handed or where they came from (mother experimenting on chocolate production perhaps?)

I provide the school with a box of packed free from cakes to give to DS if someone shows with a birthday cake. I can provide free from chocolates too, but to be honest... i really don't like the idea of DS having chocolates or other sweets at the end of the school day.

ellingwoman Tue 02-Jun-09 16:35:32

The reason for doing it at the end of the day is so the parent can decide if the child can have it or not.

If the school are distributing chocolate for any reason then diabetic chocolate or an alternative would be given to a child with allergies.

If the sweets come from a child then they wouldn't necessarily know about other children's allergies.

The children like giving out what they perceive as 'treats'. I think it's a shame if the school give in to parents and bans it. It only a maximum of 30 times a year isn't it? Children in my school with allergies like to take the sweets home for their siblings or give them away. No biggie.

twoisplenty Tue 02-Jun-09 16:35:34

Well, tell that to the dentist then sad

jeminthecity Tue 02-Jun-09 16:35:45

I don't mind at all.

However, if my child had serious allergies such as you describe OP, then I would agree with your concerns re your own child, but not about that practice in general.

Could you give the teachers an appropriate substitute for whenever this happens, ie buy a few things so that they can then give your child one when the 'party sweet' thing happens?

EyeballsintheSky Tue 02-Jun-09 16:37:06

Why don't you send in a pack/box/whatever of suitable treats to keep in a drawer for your son then whenever anyone brings food of Satan sweets into the classroom he won't feel left out. And I do get that it's an allergy thing but I think YABU to expect everyone to adapt to your child.

I am dreading dd going to school because by the time she does they will have banned breathing. Although I'm liking the idea of bringing in a bag of apples for a birthday. What fun hmm

stripeypineapple Tue 02-Jun-09 16:38:11

This is a very topical subject for me at the moment; it's my DD 7th next week and at her last school I would have sent in a big bag of lollies for the class on her birthday. She's told me however at this school it's not allowed.

There is a little boy in her class who is diabetic so I understand why no one would want to make him feel left out and obviously neither would I.

I asked at the office what their policy was and they said to ask the class teacher directly so I will when I can get hold of her.

If DD's teacher says it's OK I will send in a bag of sweets or lollies for the whole class to celebrate DD's birthday because, particularly this year, we haven't invited all of them to her party so it's a chance for all of them to say Happy Birthday to her and get a sweetie.

It's a terrible shame for your son to have this allergy and must be very upsetting for both of you but he is in the minority and most kids love sweets and a little treat now and again for those who are medically allowed is fine IMO.

What I've decided is that if DD's school won't allow sweets then hopefully they'll allow fairy cakes, I'll bake them all a little cake and they have a treat.

Is that so wrong?

TheOddOne Tue 02-Jun-09 16:38:17

Chocolate at the end of the school day is practically a necessity for that extra rush of energy to climb trees, alternatively it can be a sweet tasty treat (for all the hard work put in during the day) whilst watching horrid Henry grin. <non militant mum emoticon>.

Tinker Tue 02-Jun-09 16:38:44

They banned it at my eldest's school so the kids kept giving out mini boxes of raisins when it was their birthday. Now, I bet there is as much sugar in those as some small sweets/choc/homemade cake

bagpuss Tue 02-Jun-09 16:39:40

Mine came out with some Haribo today. I don't really think of it as a problem tbh as they don't get sweets every day. DD used to have a very allergic child in her class and specifically asked me when it was her birthday if we could please get haribo to give out as G was allowed to eat those smile. The mothers I know of other such children tend to be extra vigilant and their dcs know they are not allowed to take the sweets when offered. I do think that YABU.

womma Tue 02-Jun-09 16:40:15

If your child has an allergy, then no, YANBU. For children with no allergy issues, I'd say it was fine if it was a smallish amount for a birthday or something. I think it was nice to include everyone in the class like that.
Your poor child, having an allergy to sugary stuff must be very hard!

Northernlurker Tue 02-Jun-09 16:41:01

Yes I think it's ok. We are talking a small amount of confectionary here - not crack cocaine! Your son is no more likely to have a reaction at this time that at any other time during the school day - lunchtime for example. I understand his situation makes things more difficult for you both but surely all you need to do is ensure he knows how to manage his condition - at 6 he is old enough to do so - and that his teacher is aware and suitably vigilant. If you wish you could supply a stock of a suitable 'treat' for such times.

I am constantly amazed at the frankly absurd reaction that can be generated amonst some parents with a handful of sugar! Denying your children access to sweets etc will not in fact cause them to live their whole lives in lithe, white toothed over achievement!

GrapefruitMoon Tue 02-Jun-09 16:41:34

Having a stash of suitable treats for the allergic child is what is done at our school.

Also, our dentist is very supportive of children eating sweets as long as they eat them just after a meal rather than in between - so you could stick to that rule if you are very bothered about dental hygiene. (I'm not [neglectful mother emoticon])

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