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to thnk perhaps she could have been a little more understanding?

(16 Posts)
TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Mon 01-Jun-09 20:23:29

This year I have been doing the 2nd year of my PGCE whilst working full time, battling bad PND, looking after my baby, moving into our 1st home and I've had a MC.

My PGCE work is very late but I have explained everything and apologised a million times.

I e-mailed my tutor and said I'd bring it in on Tuesday and she said 'whilst I appreciate your hard work, it's a little bit late in the day and I have other work to mark now.' She has been really funny with me in e-mails, making me feel terrible.

It has been a very difficult year for me, and I am trying my hardest. I'm in tears constantly under the stress of everything and now I'm crying again because I feel like she thinks I'm a lazy slob when I'm trying my best to fit everything in.

The worst thing is, she's always nice as pie to my face and then sends snotty e-mails.

AIBU to think she could offer a little more understanding just to be a decent person?

SoupDragon Mon 01-Jun-09 20:25:20

Perhaps she does have lots of other stuff to mark now?

thisisyesterday Mon 01-Jun-09 20:27:20

it depends how much of your situation she knows.
i mean, if she is aware of everything you've bbeen through then yes, of course she could be more understanding.
if not well then I can see her POV tbh!
bear in mind she probably has a whole ton of stuff to do, and may have had just as stressful a year as you have.

Kimi Mon 01-Jun-09 20:28:32

Maybe you are taking on a bit much at the moment, can you speak to someone else about getting it marked?

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 01-Jun-09 20:29:49

You know, maybe she doesn't mean to be 'snotty'. Sometimes the written word can come across so differently from how it's intended. Some people also seem to adopt such formal language. If she's consistently nice to your face, it's unlikely that she's intentionally being nasty in e-mails - that wouldn't make any sense, would it?

Also, how do you get lazy from her saying that she appreciates your hard work? I would read that as her understanding that you have really tried, under the circumstances. And then she is saying how swamped she is.

I think the best thing to do would be to tell her how you feel. Perhaps she would be really upset to know that's how she comes across.

Clydesdale Mon 01-Jun-09 20:31:11

speak to the HOD at the college and at your training school. may help.

you got student support service?

pointydog Mon 01-Jun-09 20:31:25

Isn't a PGCE a one year course?

minesacheeseandpicklesandwich Mon 01-Jun-09 20:32:45

Can you explain how come you're taking two years to do a PGCE? And is the full-time work school-based?

YANBU re the emails, BTW. I have had huge problems in the past with emails and texts, thinking the sender means something they don't. Even done this with a best friend, who explained themselves over the phone when I spoke to them the next time and got upset!! blush She may have been trying to explain kindly about her workload and just didn't word it very well. Try saying it to yourself in a different tone of voice, sort of softer and apologetic.

thisisyesterday Mon 01-Jun-09 20:33:57

i thought that too pointy, a friend just did it

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Mon 01-Jun-09 20:36:34

My PGCE is part time and I work full time in a college.

She does know the whole situation.

Superduperloopthelooper Mon 01-Jun-09 20:36:37

Is possible to do the PGCE over two years on a flexible course smile.

starlightexpress Mon 01-Jun-09 20:40:39

I'm really sorry you've had such a rotten time, but YABU.

The thing is, no matter how sympathetic your tutor is, she needs to be able to say that you as a candidate have fulfilled all the criteria you need to to pass the course. And part of this means getting your work in - ^on time^.

This is particularly relevent as you are trying to qualify to teach. In an NQT role there will be lots of deadlines you'll have to meet (reports etc) and you'll be expected to do so, pretty much regardless of personal circumstances. One of the reasons you get assignments is a way of assessing your ability to meet deadlines.

If you haven't done the work on time then you're not meeting the professional standards. Why you haven't met the deadline is neither here nor there, in a way.

It sort of sounds a bit like she's exasperated at having to (in her eyes) constantly make allowances and excuses and be vouching for you. If you'd been a model student until now then I expect she'd have been a lot more sympathetic. Perhaps it just seemed like the latest in a long line of issues that causes her headaches.

Also, you handing stuff in late does negatively impact on her workload. She's only human. Perhaps she's got a lovely weekend away planned but now will have to lug your essay along with her. You can understand that this might piss her off and she might be a bit arsey with you about it.

She's not there to be symapthetic. She's there as your academic tutor. If she's cut you quite a bit of slack so far (it sounds like she has) then that's above and beyond the call of duty. Get the work in, apologise profusely, make sure it doesn't happen again. Don't worry about whether she's sypatheic or not, just get her to agree to take the work in and mark it.

Then go and get sympathy from the people who love you. Sounds like you ned it. Take care and good luck.

pointydog Mon 01-Jun-09 20:43:53

e-mails always sound terse. SOund slike she was being pretty decent.

You've got a hell of a lot on your plate just now and maybe the course as well as everything else is too much for you. Are you coming to end of your 2nd year? Can you defer?

tryingtobemarypoppins Mon 01-Jun-09 20:49:44

I'm so sorry your having a tough time but I agree with starlightexpress. As a primary teacher, AST, doing major work on our home and mummy to an 18 month old who has me up at 3am every morning this week, I still have to be 100% at school tomorrow. I have had 30 reports to write over half term and SATs to mark.

Teaching is tough. The PGCE is designed to prepare you.

Take care and good luck.

ZZZen Mon 01-Jun-09 20:54:23

I don't understand. She's not accepting the work AT ALL because it is so late or she is not going to correct it atm but you can still hand it in (just not on Tuesday) and have it assessed when she has more time)?

minesacheeseandpicklesandwich Mon 01-Jun-09 20:59:19

It does sound like you have an awful lot going on at the mo. I had a MC during my (one year) PGCE. Two weeks off followed by Easter hols then back into it with no let up, so I do feel for you.

However, how are you going to be when you constantly have homework in late. I promise you, you will let it go from the same person a couple of times for a good excuse, then you will sit that pupil down for a good chat about any problems at home, how they are managing their time, etc.

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