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Would you find this acceptable?

(25 Posts)
NotSureImHappyAboutThis Mon 01-Jun-09 17:32:55

Whilst typing in a website address, the dropdown menu thing came up with a 'text to meet' website that clearly DP has been looking at. From a quick look at one of the profiles, it's more of a text to shag site as the lady in question was topless and in a very questionable pose. DP doesn't even have a mobile with which to text anyone on there. I don't think he'd actually cheat on me, it's more likely he was just looking for naughty pictures, something he does a fair bit and I usually don't have a problem with. It's more that he was looking at 'real' people, in our area, who are contactable that I feel uncomfortable about.

Am I being unreasonable to feel weird about this? I also posted in WWYD, but I'm not sure anyone reads it.

JenniPenni Mon 01-Jun-09 17:44:39

'Am I being unreasonable to feel weird about this?'

Definately!!! Absolute no no for someone in a committed relationship.

NotSureImHappyAboutThis Mon 01-Jun-09 18:02:37

Thanks for replying. I don't know whether to ask him why he's been on this site or not. He can't explain it away by saying he went on it by accident because the list of profiles he'd looked at was pretty long.

MissSunny Mon 01-Jun-09 18:06:18

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NotQuiteCockney Mon 01-Jun-09 18:07:31

If it helps, the pictures are probably not real pics of actual women in your neighbourhood. Fwiw.

zookeeper Mon 01-Jun-09 18:07:57

hmmm I'm afraid I would be looking long and hard for a mobile phone and scrutinising incoming post very carefully . Sounds very dodgy to me.

NotSureImHappyAboutThis Mon 01-Jun-09 18:10:10

Not literally people living in my street, no, I do get that, but they're normal looking enough to realise they aren't pornstars, if you see what I mean. More Readers Wives-ish.

mousemole Mon 01-Jun-09 18:16:04

are you sure he went on the site - google comes up with loads of predictive words/phrases these days to 'help' you that he wouldn't necessarily have been on. what about the history page to show what websites ?

junglist1 Mon 01-Jun-09 18:21:18

there's a massive difference between pictures and contact. I don't mind porn, or even strip clubs, but chatting to big boobed women online? No way. Keep your eye on him, hopefully it's all above board.

LovelyTinOfSpam Mon 01-Jun-09 18:26:26

If you're comfortable with porn, which i think you said you were, then TBH this falls into the same category really.

He can't text them to meet them anyway, so obviously has no intention of doing anything like that.

I always thought that the women "in your area" were adverts for prostitutes? Based on the fact that it's always women in their underwear looking sultry, and never men in their pants trying to look fruity.

So sort of like ogling the adverts for massage parlours that they see fit to include in our local free paper.

Can you ask him about it?

NotSureImHappyAboutThis Mon 01-Jun-09 18:43:12

mousemole - I wasn't googling, I was typing in address at the top, and it came up with the history of visited websites that began with the same letter. It had a long list of all the profile names he'd looked at.

junglist and LTOS, he's always looked at porn, and to begin with I asked him to stop that, but tbh I'd rather he looked at pics of other people than do this sort of thing. If he has just been looking at their pictures, fine. But it just made me feel uneasy because it seems to me a first step towards thinking about actual cheating.

Think I'm just going to have to ask why it came up on the history and see what he says. Thank you all for your replies.

mousemole Mon 01-Jun-09 19:37:48

oh, sorry, was hoping there was a better explantation sad

MissSunny Mon 01-Jun-09 19:42:55

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RumourOfAHurricane Mon 01-Jun-09 19:49:32

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Lovesdogsandcats Mon 01-Jun-09 20:22:49

hmmm yes why does he have no mobile?

NotSureImHappyAboutThis Mon 01-Jun-09 22:51:28

He does own one, but never takes it anywhere, it has no credit on it and hasn't even been charged in months. It's my old one but he didn't really want or need it, hence it lying abandoned in the house somewhere. If he ever needs to contact anyone by text he uses mine, obviously I would know if he had used mine for something like this though.

ChippingIn Mon 01-Jun-09 23:06:40

I was in the same situation with an ex, it happened in the early stage of our relationship (I was away a lot, for long periods), I don't object to porn viewing, so he was somewhat suprised when I was upset about it. Once I'd explained it was 'real' women (as opposed to airbrushed, paid for it type women) and they were local ie around here and clearly up for it... he understood (eventually! LOL)... hopefully when you talk to your DH he will too (if not, there's always the fry pan!!).

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 01-Jun-09 23:10:42

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juneybean Mon 01-Jun-09 23:22:10

Hmm I don't know, I've been out all today and when I looked on my drop down menu its full of youporn, redtube but I can't see why my brother would have wanted to use my laptop and I don't have a virus, so god knows how it got there, did he definitely look at it

GypsyMoth Mon 01-Jun-09 23:34:37

The individual profiles had been selected and clicked on. He knew what he was doing.

Are you absolutely sure he doesn't have a secret mobile?guess you can't be, but a cheap payg would be easy enough to hide somewhere....and it's charger.

SolidGoldBrass Mon 01-Jun-09 23:43:22

A lot of these 'text to meet' type sites are not dating sites at all: the photos and profiles are of models and the purpose of the site is to engage in sexy text conversations for which the 'women' are being paid.

GypsyMoth Mon 01-Jun-09 23:49:59

They advertise on tv late at night don't they? About £1.50 a text I think!!!! But they could be from a genuine site that does proper contact. When op returns maybe we will find out!!

SolidGoldBrass Tue 02-Jun-09 00:44:48

Well if the bloke hasn't got a mobile he is probably not spending a fortune texting these sites and may well just be looking at them and having a wank: a lot of these are like chatlines ie just slightly more interactive porn.

MissSunny Tue 02-Jun-09 01:38:44

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Bobblebuddy Tue 02-Jun-09 07:54:39

I think the fact that you are bothered by it enough to post on here means you have to ask him about it. No-one on here can answer your question better than your man can, so you need to speak to him about it to really resolve it in your own head.

I suspect the 'text to meet' element is a bit of a hook to lead people in, but not really functional, so it's most likey just another avenue for straightforward porn, but you'll never know his motives unless you ask him, and it might be better to hear what he has to say than to build it up in your head to something that isn't true. That could be a lot more damaging.

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