To force dd1 to join playscheme 3 days a week, during the summer holidays?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

She is adamant that she wants to stay at home.

My house is a mess after half term, dd1 is very 'high maintenance' I cannot cope with 6 solid weeeks.

I have told her that she must join playscheme, Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

The lazy moo just 'wants to stay at home and play on the DS'

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

.

[Alambil]

YANBU

[girlandboy]

How old is she?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

She is five.

[guardianistaNOT]

Are you a SAHM?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

Yes atm I am but I am currently looking for a new job, hopefully during school hours.

[squirrel42]

I'd say at that age she can't step back and look at the entire long summer holidays and judge what she wants to do. She's thinking short term - she wants to stay home with you. I'm sure if she was actually at the playscheme having fun, she would want to stay there!

And besides which she is only 5 - she has to do what you say! When she's 12 or 13, then she can start insisting she wants to stay home!

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

That's exactly what i told her Squirrel but she is making me feel guilty by crying every time Playscheme is mentioned.

i am sure she would be much happier doing things with kids her own age than being stuck at home doing chores with me and dd2.

Besides Playscheme takes them on days out which we could never afford to do alone, as I don't drive so it would mean train fares every where.

[frankbestfriend]

I think YABU.
If you are a sahm with only one child, why do you need her to be at playscheme for 3 days?
How about one day a week? That would give you time to do any cleaning/shopping, and let you spend the other days in the garden/at the park/swimming etc.

Try to get on top of the housework over the next 7 weeks before the holidays. That way you will feel calmer and more prepared for the summer.

[frankbestfriend]

Sorry, just seen that you have a younger dd. During the holidays I try to get the chores done at night, to free up the days for dd.

And I definetly lower my standards when dd is off school, and do only the bare minimum in the house. Try and have a big blitz between now and then.

[londonone]

How horrible - It seems that you see your daughter as an inconvenience.

[girlandboy]

YABU. Nothing like being forced out to play when you don't want to.

I should imagine that your dd would much prefer to spend the time with you and little sister.

Three days on the trot at a playscheme is a lot for one so young. My dc's would have hated it.

My friend sent her two dc's on many playschemes last summer and they are already begging her to be allowed to stay at home. Apparently they just want to "chill out" and do what they want to do.

I'd have hated to have packed off in the school holidays too. But perhaps this is just me.

[BradfordMum]

I say YABU.
She's still a baby for gods sake!!
My kids are 19, 21 and 24 and spent every day of all the school holidays with them.
I was a stay at home mum til youngest was 4, then I became a childminder.
Holidays were filled with lazy days, laughter, trips off and simple pic nics at The local park.

Nothing has changed, and I still do the same thins with minded children.

Simple old fashioned school holidays - and you want to pack off your 5 year old 3 days a week.

Shame on you.

[LightShinesInTheDarkness]

londonone - that seems to be a very harsh judgement about another mother.

SSSS - tell us a bit more about the playscheme.

3 days on the trot does seem a lot, but so much depends on whether it goes on for a school day (which she is presumably used to being out of the house), does she know the place, are her friends going etc etc

[wonderingwondering]

I think young children are very sensitive to feeling 'pushed out' - she sees your younger DD staying at home with you, and wants to do the same. Completely understandable. She is still very young. Things like that can store up trouble in the years ahead - if she feels pushed out, she'll start to resent your younger DD.

If you can afford the playscheme, presumably you could spend the money instead on sending your ironing out, getting groceries delivered, and a few days out together. Or spend one day with her at the playscheme, but then spend some time the next day with her, but without the younger one - leave the younger one with a friend, relative or in a creche.

[londonone]

It is harsh but it also seems harsh to send your young child away to a playscheme because you can't face 6 weeks with them. It's really sad.

[princessmel]

I agree with BradfordMum.

I book up in advance dates with lots of my friends, and their dc's. At least twice a week.

Then we go to park, go to the farm, splash park, etc. Or we stay home and they play.

[bigchris]

I'm sorry but I agree with the others , yabu
You can plan your holidays to do fun things with her
She's told you she doesn't want to go so as it's not because you're working why can't you look after her as well as your lo
you'll have to be doing fun things with the younger one anyway
can you organise playdates, see what's ahppening in your area (there is the national reading challenge at the library she can take part in for example), things going on at local parks, museums etc, it doesnt need to cost a lot but obviously if you have money for a playscheme you can probably afford it

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

She is not an inconvience but she is very high maintenance and I have dd2 who is constantly tortured by her and never gets to spend any one on one time with me because I am constantly supervising dd1, who without 'something' to do, gets very destructive. My kitchen and bathroom have just been redecorated after the flood she caused.

The play scheme is sperated intob age groups, so she would be with children aged 5-8 years old. They do a variety of things inc. crafts, day trips to the seaside, museums, theme parks, team sports like football, netball etc, trips to the cinema.

All the things I would find difficult to do with her, with dd2 in tow. Obv we could do the seasside, but crafts and day trips are hard unless DH is off work. Which is only at the weekend.

AFAIK at least one of her friends is going, I have heard her mum talking about it. And her cousin who would be in the same age group normally goes. Plus she makes friends very easily.

[ssd]

YABU

she just wants to be at home and be with her mum, try to enjoy her company instead of being desperate to get rid of her

I take it this is her first school holidays? She's probably looking forward to the rest.

Sorry but \i think your being mean, different if you had to work and she had to go somewhere, but you're at home so stop trying to get rid of her

[HappyMummyOfOne]

I think YABU too.

Your DD is 5, she probably is looking forward to spending the summer hols at home with her family. Forget the housework, it can be caught up at night - doesnt take that long to do.

From your comments, I feel quite sorry for her - she needs to be sent away for three days but the younger sibling is fine to stay home. Also a great way of driving a wedge between siblings.

Playschemes are great if the child wants to go but they shouldnt be forced into it. Would you like to be forced to do somthing 3 days a week you didnt want to?

[mumeeee]

YABU. You are a SAHM and she is only 5.

[ssd]

also I take it dd2 will be at home with you, what kind of message does that send to dd1?

[frankbestfriend]

Don't you spend time with dd2 when dd1 is at school?

It seems dd1 may be the child who is more in need of some one on one time with her Mum.