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to have left today?

(26 Posts)
tryingtobemarypoppins Sat 30-May-09 20:39:41

DH springs a family BBQ on me this morning. They are one side of his family which he sees little of out of choice as they are rather loud and there are loads of them.

Anyway, DH isn't sure of timings hmm
but makes a phone call and the time comes back as from 1 onwards. Great, DS 18 months is ready for action, had his lunch, we get there for 1pm.

Nobody arrives until 4pm by which time DS is grumpy, hungry and usually in bed by 6, so getting tired. I've got thrush toosad!!!

4pm, loud family members arrive with large pit dull dog and i'm think shock get me out of hear as is DS.

I explain he is really tired and not 100%, DH stays and I go home. DS in bed snorring but 5:30!

DH just arrived home to say his aunt, who we have never had a birthday, christmas card from, who has never popped around, or even spoken to me properly has a go at DH as we left early saying it was rude!

AIBU to think she is a rude cow!!??

LadyAga Sat 30-May-09 20:41:59

YANBU. I would have done exactly the same thing as you... and you're right; the aunt is rude.

Overmydeadbody Sat 30-May-09 20:43:18

YANBU to have left, I would have done the same thing.

I wouldn't call the aunt a rude cow for having a go at your DH though, that's just family for you.

ilove Sat 30-May-09 20:43:41

Actually I think you were rude leaving...why couldn't he have slept in his pram???

Rosa Sat 30-May-09 20:44:28

No you are not - you did the right thing DH stayed so she wasn't being ignored...

onepieceofcremeegg Sat 30-May-09 20:44:29

Whose home was the bbq at? Perhaps as the afternoon progressed you could have tentatively said you would be leaving around 4 or 5pm. I would have expected my dh to come home with me and the dcs tbh, but all families are different.

tbh if I was told 1pm onwards I would have let dd2 (21 months) have a sleep and then wandered along at about 2 or even 3pm.

I would not have been impressed re the pit bull dog.

Sorry about your thrush, it's really irritating isn't it.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Sat 30-May-09 20:44:35

Message withdrawn

weebleswobble Sat 30-May-09 20:45:25

YANBU and the aunt is stupid if she can't see there's a problem.

onepieceofcremeegg Sat 30-May-09 20:45:46

Oh and yes the aunt sounds rude. She sounds much like my mil. Full of judgments re other people not noticing that her own behaviour is worse!

pippylongstockings Sat 30-May-09 20:45:54

YANBU - I think family forget what it is like to have small children - when it get's to the end of the day there is little you can do to spur them on.

My MIL is often upset that the kids have yet again cried their way through one of her meals eating v.little - but try as I might she doesn't seem toget the hint that children of 2 and 4 do not like to eat at 7 or 8pm! they like to be in bed!

junglist1 Sat 30-May-09 20:46:08

It's not the aunts buisness who leaves when. Stoopid bat

MIAonline Sat 30-May-09 20:46:13

YANBU, you went to the party at the requested time, stayed 3 hours and left. Sounds completely normal to me.

FairLadyRantALot Sat 30-May-09 20:49:00

hmmm...was everyone meant to be there around 1 or did the want you there for the time...
and should you be honoured or peed off...not sure, can't make it out..

onepieceofcremeegg Sat 30-May-09 20:50:51

pippy bizarre isn't it? Ils took great offence when we regularly spent the afternoon with them only to leave at 5 or 6pm to take the children home for their tea.

Recently mil seemed to "get it" on one occasion and the dcs had a plate of sandwiches prepared. We were then able to stay an extra hour or two. Trouble is with my mil is that she can't seem to do "basic" -it's either a full blown meal taking hours to prepare, or nothing.

The dcs sat nicely and enjoyed sandwiches and juice and she was rewarded by them relaxing and playing at her home for a lot longer.

pippylongstockings Sat 30-May-09 20:56:31

cremeegg I agree maybe it's a generation thing of preparing a proper meal - She often is cooking lamb/new potatoes/roast veg etc. which clearly takes bloody hours but as you say they would really be happy with a fish finger sandwich!

tryingtobemarypoppins Sat 30-May-09 20:59:07

ilove no he couldn't sleep in his pram with the level of noise, pit bull dog barking and terrifying me, he isn't good at staying asleep and being transfered, he was SO tired.......I didn't think it was fair or safe. We had been there 3 hours!

Oh and as for 'far too posh to be here with you frightful lot' vibes? well yes probably, and I am far too posh, but then so would Vicky Pollard! Your not family undercover are you ilove??

Tee2072 Sat 30-May-09 20:59:22

Why is everyone 'hinting' that the children need to eat earlier? Why don't you just say, right out 'its DC's dinner time. Don't get up, I'll fix them a sandwich.'

That's what I will do with my ILs and my own relatives.

onepieceofcremeegg Sat 30-May-09 21:03:10

Tee in my case my mil guards her kitchen like a pit bull very closely. I am not generally admitted entry! Mealtimes in ils' home are entirely at their discretion and they would be hurt/take massive offence/be puzzled if I (or dh) suddenly said we were going in to make a sandwich.

If you don't understand that, then be v thankful that you have "normal" ils. grin

At my own mother's home (and many of my friends) I would do as you suggest, without any problems.

ilove Sat 30-May-09 21:04:57

It wasn't me said you were too posh big grin

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Sat 30-May-09 21:10:40

Message withdrawn

Tee2072 Sat 30-May-09 21:15:17

If that was the case onepiece then bring food with you! Or just say, very loudly 'the children are hungry, please feed them, or we'll have to leave.'

onepieceofcremeegg Sat 30-May-09 21:19:43

Lol at the thought of mil's face if we did that. grin

She really is a cow quick to take offence.

Occasionally dh does say loudly to them "are you thirsty onepiece?" (they have a habit of not offering us a drink if dh's brother and his wife haven't arrived yet, as they are the favoured ones)

Tee2072 Sat 30-May-09 21:24:43

I guess I don't understand why MIL being offended is more important to you than the health and well being of your children!

So she gets offended? So the F* what? I would be offended that she ignores the needs of her grandchildren and stop going there.

onepieceofcremeegg Sat 30-May-09 21:26:10

It's not Tee which is why we do leave at 5-6pm.

sleepyeyes Sat 30-May-09 21:33:07

Onepiece she sounds like my dads mum who every new year would lay out a buffet of food and ban anyone from going near it till midnight. hmm
Guess who we don't visit at new year now. grin

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