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AIBU?

AIBU to think it is weird to need passports when kids aren't emmigrating?

89 replies

looneymum · 20/05/2009 18:52

Hi Guys. My soon to be ex is emmigrating to Aus... he is at present filling in visa application forms... is it normal for the non-migrating children to need to have a medical and provide passports in order that he can fill in his visa application. All words of wisdom gratefully received. It is bad enough that he is leaving them... and leaving us in a poor financial state... never mind me having to go through all this trauma and bloody well assist with his visa crap! xx

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HellHathNoFury · 20/05/2009 19:00

Erm... I think it is unreasonable yes.
I went through the immigration process some time ago (and didn't have kids) but fair to say it makes no sense to me. People that don't emigrate... don't need passports and forms, right?!

I would say if he HAS to do it with their help, then he can pay. Passports and medicals don't come cheap, you are looking at almost £200 per child for both.

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GypsyMoth · 20/05/2009 19:02

i suppose its for if/when they visit?

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BecauseImWorthIt · 20/05/2009 19:02

He's not planning on trying to take them too, is he?

(sorry if this is a worrying suggestion, but it was the first thing that came into my mind)

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onagar · 20/05/2009 19:02

I don't understand that unless accepting him means that would have to accept the kids if he got custody later? Maybe they have to take that into account now.

Otherwise it sounds like a misunderstanding.

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AnarchyAunt · 20/05/2009 19:04

I agree with what BIWI said.

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Thunderduck · 20/05/2009 19:04

That's what came to my mind too BIWI.

Perhaps you could check with the Australian embassy Looney?

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GypsyMoth · 20/05/2009 19:05

have you actually seen the form where it states this? or are you accepting his word?

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Itsjustafleshwound · 20/05/2009 19:05

It sounds odd that the kids have to get passports ...

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StewieGriffinsMom · 20/05/2009 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AnarchyAunt · 20/05/2009 19:07

Here have a look at their forms/procedures.

I can hardly believe he is telling the truth.

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onagar · 20/05/2009 19:17

I found this on the immigrations pages

"All members of your immediate family must meet the standards for your application to
successful. Dependants who are not planning to migrate must also be examined"

So that part is true. Not so sure about needing passports though.

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onagar · 20/05/2009 19:29

Thinking about it I believe the passports are just for identification. Kids don't have drivers licences to show so requiring a passport sorts out who is who.

On the subject of him wanting to take them with him only you know if that is likely, but this is what the embassy says about it.

"If your application includes a child under 18 and the child?s other parent is not migrating with you or there is any other person who has the legal right to determine where the child can live, you will need to provide a Statutory Declaration from each of them giving permission for the child to migrate. Alternatively, you can provide a certified copy of a valid court order showing that you/your spouse has the legal right to remove the child from the country."

So if there is any doubt at all then watch what you are signing.

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looneymum · 20/05/2009 19:32

Wow .. thanks everyone. I knew I could count on your lot to come up trumps. Onagar... where did you get your quote from? Can you post the link please?

HellHath - think he is paying £75 per child... he always seems to get a deal! Is managing to pay me and his kids off with a bargain basement settlement too!

Tiff - you are right, it could be for when they visit. Although, he has never discussed when they will. Although, he has asked that I fit a webcam so him and his family can "keep in touch". Cheeky fucker.. I have enough to worry about with whether we are going to have enough money to eat!

BecauseImWorthIt - yet - deffo a worry that he wants to run off with them! Although I think he is basically doing a runner. I gather his partner is presently going through court to get her kids out the country and to Aus!

Onagar... he so doesn't want custody.. but good point.

AnarchyAunt.. thx for the link.

xxxxxxxxx

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AnarchyAunt · 20/05/2009 19:32

Good grief maybe he is telling the truth but look into it further before you sign anything and do not allow him to have the DC passports.

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looneymum · 20/05/2009 19:34

Hi Ongar... this is great stuff... do you deduce that he is trying to make provision for if he should want them to emigrate? Sorry am being dense and am v scared that he is going to do something. He is taking them to CentreParcs for a week at the end of May and I am just imagining all sorts of horrors! x

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onagar · 20/05/2009 19:36

This direct link may work. Otherwise go to this page and click to download the PDF file where it says "See: Booklet 6 (219KB PDF file)"

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onagar · 20/05/2009 19:40

Well he has to do the kids medical exams anyway for him to emigrate.

Needing the kids to have passports 'could' be true, but you'd have to ask the embassy because I didn't see anything about that.

I'd certainly check just in case if it were me. I'd ring up.

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onagar · 20/05/2009 19:42

oh I see that AnarchyAunts link confirms that they do need ID such as a passport to do the exams so that part is true is well.

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oldspotraver · 20/05/2009 19:43

Have to say my first thought was the same as BWIW. I would apply for the passports yourself and not let thm out of your sight

Re.. him leaving you financially poor... CSA have a recipricol agreement with Australia and they sound far more on the ball that here

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looneymum · 20/05/2009 19:46

Ongar/AnarchyAunt. Thanks so much for this. I will ring. I am also disturbed that the kids - who don't know he is going yet - will wonder what the hell is going on ... they are two DDs (7 and 4)...I am imagining whilst he is zipping them up and down the water slides at Centreparcs he is just going to drop the fact that daddy is pissing off to Australia into the conversation.....oh and that he doesn't want to pay school fees anymore and that if mummy wants to fund school fees she will have to sell the house... and go to work... even tho she hasn't worked for the last seven years as she looked after you both whilst he shagged his boss and worked away from home.... WOW .... that was a good rant. Has anyone heard of the word... TWUNT???!!!! Well that is what he is!!!!

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looneymum · 20/05/2009 19:50

Hi Oldspot. Thx. I am very worried... good news that Aus's CSA is better than here. Let's face it, it couldn't be any worse. I am still waiting for a variance... should have heard about two months ago. Seemingly it was so complicated that it had to go to the clerical team. Have had major bust ups with them. Still, not their fault he is a knacker... is paying £5 per week for both children. Is seriously high earner and is now going to pay (subject to consent order) £1k per month (not thru CSA and virtually impossible to enforce once he moves). I know I sound ungrateful but the bloody house outgoings, food, petrol and stuff come to more than that! I am just desperate to give the kids some stability...seems so unfair that daddy fucks off, I sell the house, they move school and I go to work full time... supposing I can get a job! xx

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monkeypinkmonkey · 20/05/2009 20:12

I love the word TWUNT Loonleymum I'm so nicking that to use!!!
It's understandable how your feeling hug

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looneymum · 20/05/2009 21:10

Ah thanks MPM... all hugs gratefully received. He is such a loser... who would ever go and leave their beautiful DDs.. and so young too. I am pleased his is f*ing off. I will no doubt be blamed for not agreeing to them spending next year's summer hols in Aus... like I am gonna let them be chaperoned! Poor lovelies. Such a TWUNT!!!!! xx

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mowbraygirl · 20/05/2009 23:16

I would definately get in touch with Australian Embassy as soon as possible, and especially enquire about the passports for the children. Do you know what sort of visa he is applying for, Australia has all sorts of rules and regulations these days and these things can take months. If he is in arears with child maintenance etc. that would be against him do mention that as well.

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muggglewump · 21/05/2009 01:38

looneymum
I am currently dealing with the Aus CSA. I don't even know where my ex lives, yet they have traced him and ordered him to pay from December 2nd. They didn't get my claim until November so they work pretty fast.
I haven't had any money yet but that's because my ex is objecting. He has until August to prove he earns less than the average salary which is what they based my claim on as he didn't provide proof of earnings.
He will have to pay from December still though, they will backdate it.
They have also advised me that I may be able to get a court order here claiming for the previous 7 years which they will then enforce for me.
I can't counter object really as I have no idea what he earns but I will be telling them that he earned more when we were together than he is claiming he earns now. I'll also be informing them in writing (have already told them on the phone), that his claim not to have contact details for DD are bullshit as he lived in this house with us!

I don't know that it will do any good but still showing him as a liar will amuse me

I'd definitely go to them as soon as your ex moves, they have done more for me in a few months than the CSA here did in over two years.