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to want to kill a defenseless woodland animal?

(65 Posts)
YanknCock Sat 16-May-09 06:43:28

Stupid bastard fucking squirrel.

Two days ago, I hired a handyman to seal up the hole at the side of our house where the little shit was living.

Squirrel cannot take a hint. He is hanging off the roof, chewing on the wood trim, trying to reopen his door. Have been out there numerous times yesterday, and three times already this morning to try to scare him off. There are little shards of wood all over the ground.

The squirrel is getting progressively more bold and threatening, making hissing noises at me when I go out there.

I really hope the neighbours weren't awake to see me, in my dressing gown and a pair of DH's trainers, raising a finger to my roof and saying 'GO AWAY! FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE!'

I have never wanted to kill an animal, until this morning. Am sooooo tired. Waking up early makes my morning sickness worse.

So AIBU? Have I missed out some 'humane' way of getting the squirrel to fuck off? Does anyone know a hitman in the Northwest?

Ripeberry Sat 16-May-09 15:58:11

You can borrow my neighbour's teenage son. He loves shooting wild animals angry, he is usually after crows, magpies, rabbits and foxes.
He is sitting at his window right now, shooting at the crows in the trees accross the road.
He also likes to walk down the road (private) with an unsheathed shotgun, but at least it is 'broken'.
Otherwise i'd be straight onto the police hmm

YanknCock Sat 16-May-09 15:59:21

Kimi, the council did put rat bait up in the loft a few months ago, and said it would also kill squirrels. It wasn't touched, and I still have it, but wouldn't want to put it outside in case neighbour's cat or other (nice and not-damaging-my-house) wildlife got ahold of it.

cornsilk, no grenades yet, but we will take it under advisement!

DH has been watching the History channel too much. He is making Churchill-sounding speeches about having 'won the battle, but we have not won the war'.

Still waiting. Two squirrel-free hours thus far. Have put sheets on the washing line as camouflage.

Ripeberry Sat 16-May-09 16:02:26

Glad the water pistol seems to work grin

TrillianAstra Sat 16-May-09 16:03:26


D'you think your sheets will stay dry, or will they fall under friendly fire?

YanknCock Sat 16-May-09 16:04:54

Ripeberry, I'm not convinced he's gone for good! shock at your neighbour's son, sounds scary (and a little sociopathic?).

YanknCock Sat 16-May-09 16:05:44

The sheets will do their duty and sacrifice themselves if need be.

<<salutes washing line>>

YanknCock Sun 17-May-09 09:01:45

An update, in case anyone is interested:

Squirrel stayed away all day yesterday after the first soaking. We were feeling pretty happy and confident.

Then, this morning. . .

Little bastard started in gnawing this morning at 6am. We got out of bed and went out, DH dressed in ninja black wielding the gun, me in my dressing gown again holding the backpack with extra water.

The furry shit is fearless. He came back at 1/2 hour intervals, to be chased off again by one or the other of us and the gun.

After four times, we suspect this is not working.

I got out the hot chillies, ground them up with a hand blender, added cayenne pepper powder and hot water, and let brew. Strained mixture through a nylon sock (DH's idea, and a good one). Gun filled with fiery pepper water.

Went out and found squirrel there AGAIN, so have tried to coat all the areas he was chewing on with pepper water. A bit difficult as it was slightly windy and I was trying to shoot straight up into the air!

I'm so tired, I want to cry. I think I might have some pepper water in my eye!

frazzledgirl Sun 17-May-09 09:06:39

Yank, grin at "The furry shit is fearless".

Pepper water is a great idea, may try that myself.

And an update from me - we didn't hear a thing from the foxes last night, after DH marked our garden with his own, ahem, water mixture, and threw the rest over the fence (again, it is an empty house).

Don't know if this works on squirrels but maybe worth a try?

springlamb Sun 17-May-09 09:11:10

Do you have any outside electric sockets? Would it be worth trying one of those plug-in ultra sonic things to try to deter it? Some of them also have an electromagnetic effect through the wiring of your house, so even if you could plug it in at the nearest socket inside the house...?

I have been hearing weird noises in one of my ceilings this week, had a look under the floorboards with this snazzy camera on a string thing that dh brought home from work (I accused him of being a travelling gynaecologist but he said he used it to look inside petrol tanks). Can't see anything, but I have plugged in one of these devices. Heard nothing last night, but was kept awake by this little 'blipping' noise that the bloody thing makes!

Buda Sun 17-May-09 09:12:53

PMSL at this thread.

Sorry YanknCock but it is funny!

Good luck. Be careful out there!

YanknCock Sun 17-May-09 10:07:54

Can't take credit for the pepper water idea, got that from t'internet, some lady who uses it to keep squirrels off her bird feeder (as Trillian said, birds don't have receptors for chillies). Will let you know if it works though!

Our main problem is getting it high enough to really coat the wood. It's windy out, so not getting the range we were yesterday.

I was initially kidding about using urine to keep him away, but am getting desperate.

Have seen those sonic devices, wondering if they really work? The closest we could get it would be to put it in the loft, but would that deter the gnawing on the outside of the house?

While we were outside, the neighbourhood cat wandered into the house, so I am trying to speak 'cat' and broker some kind of arrangement. Cat looks bemused by my offer of 'catnip for life'. Has replied 'mrowwww'. Is that a deal?

frazzledgirl Sun 17-May-09 10:38:05

I've never tried one of those sonic devices myself, but the guy next door waxes lyrical about the one he bought to get rid of mice.

And I suspect he's right, since the week he bought it was the week we discovered we had mice hmm...

RustyBear Sun 17-May-09 11:39:32

The sonic things work to keep out mice, but they won't drive them away if they already have a nest - we got one after I found a mouse in my oven, but we had to trap the whole family one after the other to get rid of them all.

Since then it's kept them away, until DH unplugged one to plug in some vital piece of equipment, when we got a couple more. So it may not be overwhelming enough to work on a rodent as determined as this one seems to be.

NorksDrift Sun 17-May-09 12:04:33

You need this to wear!

YanknCock Sun 17-May-09 15:52:51

Oh dear. Looking at those sonic devices, saw the wording:


Um....we have an exception. An elderly Russian Dwarf Hamster called George. He's stinky and bites, but I don't want to blow his little eardrums out!

Pepper doesn't seem to be having any effect whatsoever. Was so tired I fell asleep for a couple of hours and woke up to more gnawing. Could hear noises I thought were coming from inside the loft, but it seems the squirrel is just running all over the roof and it's echoing everywhere on the first floor. Is he trying to drive us insane?

Looked at a few more sites advocating pepper spray. I may not have done it correctly, as some recipes suggest letting the mixture soak overnight. Maybe it wasn't strong enough? [clutching at straws emoticon]

frazzled, if you do try the pepper, keep the above in mind.

Will call tomorrow about getting the two squirrel launching pads trees near the house cut down.

DietDisasterTriesAgain Sun 17-May-09 17:16:09

Yep pesky squirrels are a pain. They dug up all the bulbs I planted last month - was really looking forward to a flower filled garden. Good luck on your mission!!

ihavenewsockson Sun 17-May-09 17:43:13

air rifle?
are you in surrey? DH will come round and take it out for you if you like.

YanknCock Sun 17-May-09 17:55:17

newsocks, unfortunately am in Warrington (north Cheshire), or I would gratefully have your DH round to shoot the little shit!

Along with getting the trees cut down, I will call a local pest control place tomorrow and see how much they charge. We've already spent £60 on the handymen, £25 on the water gun, and £3 on various types of pepper. Time for the pros, I don't know what else to do, except hope it keeps raining heavily (which seems to keep him away).

There are traps you can get, but not sure that's helpful for one specific demonic squirrel who never seems to be on the ground. Always up a tree, on our fence, or on the roof.

bramblebooks Sun 17-May-09 18:27:30

yankn maybe I could hire you to watergun the little 'shitehawks' (you may recognise the local parlance) who give my MIL grief in Appleton, just down the road!

springlamb Sun 17-May-09 19:19:56

Well I am not going up and down the street asking if anyone's little darling has a hamster or a gerbil. Our little Rosie is long dead, it don't seem to bother the dog (well nothing does really, he just snores on), and I am SICK of spending the evening trapped on the sofa humming the tune to the Gremlins.
[Da da da da da-da, da da da da da-da...)

YanknCock Sun 17-May-09 22:24:25

springlamb, does your device's packaging give any indication of the range on it? Wondering how far it would have to be from the hamster not to affect it. I hadn't even thought of whether or not neighbours have hamsters/gerbils, but I wouldn't have thought the range on a sonic device would go far enough to matter?

Researching squirrel repellent recipes/methods on internet tonight, and loads of people seem to swear by the cayenne pepper. Another thing suggested was some sort of fabric soaked in ammonia---so maybe pregnant lady urine was the right idea?

But do I really want to be spraying my own urine from a water gun, 30 feet into the air? Is that too much like pissing into the wind?

And am very cheesed off because I remembered what I was dreaming about when the gnawing woke me up. I was thinner than I've been in ages, my pelvic pain/nausea was gone, and I was about to be shagged senseless (vivid pregnancy dreams are great, aren't they). That was one dream I really didn't want interrupted. sad angry Stupid bastard squirrel.

DitaVonCheese Sun 17-May-09 23:16:30

My best mate's DH is a sniper and took out a rabbit for my ma ... They are up in Harrogate atm but buying a house in Lymm so sporadically around. I also know a man in Lymm with a squirrel trap - when full he chucks it in his water butt (due to not being allowed to release them). Either any good to you?

I hate the feckers (am a gardener) but would keep going the pepper water/urine route I think ...

<awaits flaming by animal rights activists shock>

YanknCock Mon 18-May-09 10:37:55

Dita, YES! I phoned pest control this morning, and he said it would probably make more sense to get a 'hobbyist' to shoot it, because if they come out they charge £45/hour, and could run up a huge bill if squirrel doesn't make an appearance.

Pest control coming out today anyway, as handyman discovered we had a big bees nest in the loft too. The guy said he'll bring a gun and shoot the squirrel if it's around, but I fully expect the little shit to hide as he seems to be most active in the morning.

He does think we've probably walled up squirrel babies and that is why the squirrel is being so persistent. But after this long, he said they'll be dead. Feel quite bad about it, but we honestly thought we were going about it the right way, as many websites said over and over 'scare them out, patch up the hole'.

To make matters worse, the pepper spray, though strained through one of my nylon socks, is clogging up the water gun.

Dita, will see how today goes, and if we still need a shooter will sign up for CAT and message you. Thank you!

DitaVonCheese Mon 18-May-09 13:22:25

Can't believe I'm pimping snipers ... I don't have CAT myself so not sure whether you can get in touch that way or not. I would usually just stick my email address on here but genuinely a bit anxious about receiving hate mail from squirrel lovers, so best thing I can think of is if you sign up here, which should only take a minute, then put out an FAO Rulla and I'll find you ... Bit random, sorry, but best I can think of!

Good luck with pest control today

springlamb Mon 18-May-09 14:34:09

Yank, no range given on the packaging. But no noises last night either.
Didn't notice any crying kids up at school this morning (YKWIM, 'poor Peppa, dead in his cage this morning, has he gone to heaven...').
May I add (before the heartless bitch comments), I have cried buckets over the years as our own furries croaked. There was Toto, then Albie, then Dixie, her daughter Snowy, then the guinea Ginger, and lastly Rosie. I am too old for any more furry friends - reckon the dog has about 10 years left, so that'll give me a break.

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