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To think it's ok to breastfeed a newborn in the library?

(119 Posts)
thisismynewname Mon 02-Mar-09 19:38:00

DS (8 weeks) feeds A LOT. His sister was the same - none of this feeding for 20 mins then three hours gaps nonsense, more like feed for three ours with 20 min gaps.

DD (2) needs to be doing something other than being stuck in the house with me feeding or bored at the same toddler group feeding.

So...we went to the library today. There is a big sign on the door saying 'breastfeeding mothers welcome' and we only went in the children's library. They have loads of cushions on the floor (shaped like widgey cusions) and as there was hardly anyone in there no one was using them. So, I used one to prop up DS while I fed him and DD pottered around with the books.

I was reading quietly to DD when a snotty faced -ancient- middle-aged librarian came over and told me that 1) we were making too much noise and 2) the cushions were for the children to sit on, not for feeding babies.

I got the distinct impression it was my breasts she actually didn't like, but obviously couldn't say so, despite the fact that I am the queen of discreet feeding.

WAS IBU for being made to feel unwelcome and discriminated against by this woman?

tinierclanger Mon 02-Mar-09 19:40:47


Of course it's ok to BF in the children's library, I've done it loads of times. And re any supposed noise complaint, the children's library IS a noisy place and jolly well should be.

Don't let the grumpy old trout put you off the library.

PerArduaAdNauseum Mon 02-Mar-09 19:40:49

Making too much noise? Was he slurping and lipsmacking? grin

YANBU. Did you point out you were in the children's library?

TheButterflyEffect Mon 02-Mar-09 19:41:07

Message withdrawn

RubyRioja Mon 02-Mar-09 19:41:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyR Mon 02-Mar-09 19:42:05

It depends. Were any of you making a noise? Were there chairs for adults to sit on?

janeite Mon 02-Mar-09 19:42:26

No you're not being unreasonable: if they have a designated area that they prefer mothers to sit in she should have politely pointed it out to you. And how on earth does a breast feeding mother "make too much noise". I'd be inclined to write a complaint but then I am the queen of complaint letters!

fishie Mon 02-Mar-09 19:42:36

i think you should complain. if there is a sign up saying you are welcome and a paid member of staff says you aren't then you should make sure she doesn't do it again.

nickytwotimes Mon 02-Mar-09 19:42:39

That is rotten for you thisismynewname. Horrible woman.

thisismynewname Mon 02-Mar-09 19:43:30

MillyR how does the chair provision come into it?

ZZZen Mon 02-Mar-09 19:43:30

I think I would write asking for clarification on what their policy is exactly since the sign on the door explicity said breastfeeding mothers were welcome and you did not feel welcome after having been spoken to in this manner.

Habbibu Mon 02-Mar-09 19:43:42

"I used one to prop up DS while I fed him" - was he not technically a child sitting on a cushion, then?

PlumBumMum Mon 02-Mar-09 19:43:51

I would go back again and feed the baby again and point out thats a childrens libray and your reading to your children
Unless theres a sign saying no food or drink grin

MayorNaze Mon 02-Mar-09 19:44:07

come to our library - there is a changing mat on the floor should you need it and my best librarian friend will tell you all about her very exciting sex life (it really is!) if you hang round long enough grin

MayorNaze Mon 02-Mar-09 19:44:52

in all seriousness continue to fee there and comment pointedly on the "breastfeeding welcomed" sticker should any boots with hens bums for mouths disturb your again.

nomoreamover Mon 02-Mar-09 19:44:58

totally agree with those who say complain - how dare she?!

she may have been worried about spillage on the cushions....but apart from that she has no case to whinge. Have a jolly good moan!

spicemonster Mon 02-Mar-09 19:45:05

Like children are ever quiet in the children's library snort

If 'breastfeeding mothers are welcome' I think you should phone the library and tell them how very upset she made you. Silly old bat!

moondog Mon 02-Mar-09 19:45:07

Cheeky bitch. angry
I'd be onn the council website in a flash finding out who to fire a snotty letter to you.

God, what a fucking cheek!

Ivykaty44 Mon 02-Mar-09 19:45:20

You should have told her that your dear baby wasn't eating the cushions - silly ibrarian should put her glasses on wink

As for noise libraries cant stop you making noise it is all about inclusion hmmfor everyone and that does mean lipsmacking hungry baby wink

wobbegong Mon 02-Mar-09 19:46:11

What a twat. Write for clarification like ZZZen suggests. It sounds like you have taken it in your stride, but others may not- you owe it to future mothers and library users!

Everyone makes noise in a children's library FGS.

tiggerlovestobounce Mon 02-Mar-09 19:46:18

Of course YANBU.
My local library has signs up in it saying that you dont have to be quiet in the childrens bit, and I have BF in there many times.
It sounds like your library want to do the right thing, if they have a sign up saying that BF mothers are welcome.

MillyR Mon 02-Mar-09 19:46:18

The chair provision comes into it if the cushions are just for children. But if they are just for children, then there should be a sign saying so.

Have you been in before and seen adults sat on the cushions without being asked to move? If so, then she has an issue with your breasts. If others have been asked to move, then it is a real rule, not one made up to discriminate against you.

TweetleBeetle Mon 02-Mar-09 19:46:48

I think you should name and shame and MN can organise a breast feed in! Silly old bat. You keep on feeding as long as you want.

I can;t belive this is still an issue, as long as your not flashing your tits (and I've never seen a woman breastfeeding flashing herself! then feed wherever you want!

Sails Mon 02-Mar-09 19:46:56

There would have been an awful lot more noise if you HADN'T fed your baby! grin

thisismynewname Mon 02-Mar-09 19:47:32

It's so hard though - I felt like she didn't like me breastfeeding.

But what she complained about was

1) the noise (presumably me reading to DD)


2) me using a cushion - perhaps from a health and safety point of view she was right here but given that every cushion is well used and probably been subject to a toddlers hands/mouth/bottom I'm not too sure really.

But seriously, what does the chair thing have to do with it? If breastfeeding mothers are only welcome in certain sections of the library surely they need to make that clear?

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