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To be secretly pleased that ds refused to talk to the IL's tonight?

(19 Posts)
raisingrrrl Thu 19-Feb-09 22:11:11

Yes, I know I am, and I'm probably being mean-spirited and evil into the bargain, but really - they phone EVERY NIGHT to speak to him, and say night night. If they phone my mobile it doesn't get picked up, so they phone dh's (we have finally agreed that they are his parents and if he won't tell them to back off then he can blardy well deal with them!) as soon as he walks in the door from work.

Ds has been reluctant to talk to them for a few nights, and tonight refused point blank to leave his bricks and come and talk. I could hear that MIL was a bit miffed (they're on speaker phone) and I'm in the kitchen thinking, "FGS he's 2 - he spoke to you yesterday, he probably doesn't give a shit and Megablocks are just more interesting!"

At the same time, I feel a bit sad that they are being so pushy, as he will probably not want to know in years to come. I don't want to force him to have a relationship with his grandparents, but I do want him to have one, and I think that if they just backed off a bit he'd be much more inclined to talk to them.

Smithagain Thu 19-Feb-09 22:13:48

Every night shock. Like, do you have to plan bedtime around their call?

YANBU - it would drive me nuts.

LucyEllensmummy Thu 19-Feb-09 22:15:06

YANBU i would have felt the same. Its nice that they love him so much but this would drive me nuts. I would just be inclined to let it ride - they'll realise in their own time.

Songbird Thu 19-Feb-09 22:15:45

Blimey, I know they're proud but sheesh! YANBU! BTW, is your name a Tori Amos ref?

Hawkmoth Thu 19-Feb-09 22:16:13

Start phoning them up and put him on the line at strange times. My DD (3) 'phoned' (well pressed the green button after I put the number in) my parents to demand babysitting times, they were not amused! I was tho, hahahahaaaa.

raisingrrrl Thu 19-Feb-09 22:19:24

It is indeed Songbird! grin

I will let it ride - I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell them to back off. Either dh can do it or they can figure it out for themselves! The sad fact is, they probably won't figure it out for themselves, and ds will be less inclined to want to see them or speak to them in years to come. It's already interesting to note how he interacts with my parents as opposed to my IL's - his behaviour when out and about with the IL's is markedly worse than when out with my parents. The IL's just won't let him alone to do his own thing when we're round there - they're always on at him to try this, play with that, to the point that he gets so overstimulated he has a tantrum because he just doesn't know what else to do!

He is the first (and only - dh is an only child) grandchild on both sides, so spoiled rotten. He has a sibling arriving in the next few weeks, so hopefully that'll take some of the heat off him!

Songbird Thu 19-Feb-09 22:31:41

DD (nearly 4) has a few of 'our' songs that she always asks for, and Cornflake Girl is one of them! She thinks it's really funny. I have to skip a few Tori songs in the car!

raisingrrrl Thu 19-Feb-09 22:33:31

Ds has no taste - he won't listen to any of Hey Jupiter or Little Earthquakes (or any of the early stuff) but he quite likes Scarlet's Walk. hmm Sometimes I wonder whether the hospital swapped him!

Songbird Thu 19-Feb-09 22:37:10

Boys hmm grin

babyignoramus Fri 20-Feb-09 17:36:33

They call EVERY night? shock That would drive me to distraction. Couldn't you compromise and ask them to call just one night a week - maybe Sunday night so once he goes to school it could be a sort of 'have a good week' call as well??

hercules1 Fri 20-Feb-09 17:39:05

I'd have to drop the phone down the toilet accidently if they phoned every night to speak to a 2 year old.

insertwittynicknameHERE Fri 20-Feb-09 17:53:15

YANBU, I can see that them calling everynight would be a total PITA.

Although I would love for my PIL to call DD just once, hell to call their only son (DH) just once to see how they are would be nice.

catMandu Fri 20-Feb-09 17:57:12

Do they live far away? If not could you arrange a time when they come to see him every week, giving them some time with ds and you the opportunity to have some time alone?

screamingabdab Fri 20-Feb-09 18:55:40

Hi raisingrrl
Do you parent/s live nearer. If so (or, come to think of it, even if not), I see BIg competetive grandparenting/insecurity from the ILs. Its so sad the way some people try to impose themselves on children that it alienates the kid. (my dad used to be a bit like that).
My MIL (RIP) used to ooze a sort of desperation to be close to my first son. I found it really annoying (like I would be inwardly shouting HE'S MINE, NOT YOURS). I think she just wanted to re-create some of the closeness with her own son, but it didn't make it easier to bear.

It would drive me MENTAL. YAtotallyNBU.

They are lucky your son ever speaks to them on the phone. My oldest wouldn't talk on the phone until he was about 5

superfrenchie1 Fri 20-Feb-09 19:01:08

every night shock

YANBU at all

I secretly feel pleased when the dcs make it obvious they don't want to kiss or cuddle my MIL and come to me instead... grin [heartless bitch emoticon]

screamingabdab Fri 20-Feb-09 19:03:05

I've got a thing about the kids being told they have to kiss/cuddle someone. Cool people stand back and get the kiss without trying

piscesmoon Fri 20-Feb-09 19:04:50

YANBU-I am generally all for plenty of grandparent contact but every night is ridiculous!

compo Fri 20-Feb-09 19:11:22

bloody hell!! every night is definitely not on
MIl would if we let her but we've got caller id and I never pick up when she phones blush , I always get dh to talk to her as she witters for England grin

mrstimlovejoy Fri 20-Feb-09 19:47:54

my mil rings every day.i wouldn't mind but she never asks about me,dh or dd just talks about herself.
i never answer the phone now,i do 1471 or listen if a message's left if it's her leave it for dh to ring her back.

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