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AIBU To Dislike My DD's 6 Year Old Friend?

(112 Posts)
LeQueen Fri 13-Feb-09 14:16:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snigger Fri 13-Feb-09 14:21:11

Fellow sufferer - DD dropped out of ballet because she "didn't enjoy it anymore".

The stealthy request to join the 'hip-hop' class with her class mate was mere days behind.

Not on your nelly.

It's so hard, all you can do it maintain your personal standards at home as long as you can, and explain in uncritical terms why you feel it's not the best thing in the world to be a 3ft2 gangsta.

racmac Fri 13-Feb-09 14:26:04

IF thats the worse thing your dd comes home and does you'll have an easy time of it!!

There is nothing you can do - smile sweetly and say nothing the more you stress or try and undo the friendship the more she will become just like her

cory Fri 13-Feb-09 14:28:08

Err...the rapper thing sounds very ...erhhhmmm... dare I say it...innocent. No rude language, 'get with the jive' sounds like Baloo in the Jungle Book. Are you sure your own little treasure is not shocking Amy's Mum with far more explosive stuff?

TheCrackFox Fri 13-Feb-09 14:29:11

She would have found out about Santa eventually, you know?

Your examples seemed in the realms of "normal".

cory Fri 13-Feb-09 14:31:28

In our family we are into medieval Latin literature and Italian opera. Should we hate all dc's friends who do not live up to these high standards? Who maybe even watch <whispers> television.

dashboardconfessionals Fri 13-Feb-09 14:32:00

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Idrankthechristmasspirits Fri 13-Feb-09 14:32:20

Whats wrong with the hip-hop dance class? It's not like they will be dancing around to NWA in a gold lame bikini. It will just be street dance to funky music.
I think yabu.

Putting a 6 yr old in a bra top, yes, way ott, but the rest of it is just latest trends etc.

MrsMattie Fri 13-Feb-09 14:32:51

Sorry, but.... get over yourself!

Hip hop does NOT equal 'gangsta' either, LOL!

God, I worry for you lot when your girls become teenagers. They'll probably bring home a 6'6 tattooed devil worshipper just to spite you grin

dashboardconfessionals Fri 13-Feb-09 14:33:09

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LeQueen Fri 13-Feb-09 14:33:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dashboardconfessionals Fri 13-Feb-09 14:33:43

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LeQueen Fri 13-Feb-09 14:35:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Is your DD your PFB?

My DD, 7yo (also a PFB) comes home saying that X has had her ears pierced and Y wears a bra so can she as well. I just explain that no she can't as other girls' mums may be OK with this but I think she needs to be older. She's fairly accepting of this, I think its good practice as things will ony get worse as they get older. smile

DD has quite a few friends who are more sreetwise than her, many of them have older brothers/sisters. Half of her class were talking aout whetehr Santa really exsists or not last year.

Takver Fri 13-Feb-09 14:38:47

Hmm, I would much rather dd went to hip hop dance class than ballet (sadly no such option for 6 yr olds round here - tis ballet or rugby, and guess which one dd wants to do grin ) .
And plenty of 5 yr olds round here don't believe in FC.

MrsMattie Fri 13-Feb-09 14:40:17

lol!@parents who get all teary-eyed over the Santa issue.

Sorry. ROTFL.

cory Fri 13-Feb-09 14:42:16

But why can't you just say no without going to the trouble of hating a poor little 6-year-old? I have said no to countless things over the years without having to break up friendships over it. I am prepared to be welcoming to dcs friends because they are their friends. And because I believe in an open community. Not a selection of absolutely like-minded people only.

Doesn't mean dcs are going to be allowed to do everything their friends are, and dcs are under no such illusion.

I don't feel vaguely disturbed at my dcs requesting something inappropriate- maybe that is because I know I will have no qualms about refusing.

But I do feel a little uncomfortable about someone about referring to a living person as a porcelain doll, particularly when they're as old as 5. I remember dd at that age as very much her own person. Not allowed always to have her own way, but always prepared to argue for it.

snigger Fri 13-Feb-09 14:42:29

I'm not sure such a blase attitude towards six-year olds posturing and imitating a genre that grew from inner-city deprivation and gang violence is a good thing.

It's not worth getting on a high horse over, and would have to be handled tactfully and with care, but to say, "ah well, if this is the worst of it, get over yourself" is kind of missing the point.

I find it unfunny to watch little children copying a style that represents an ignorant utter cultural stereotype, and for me, it has no place in my family life, just because my daughter's friend is watching too much MTV.

snigger Fri 13-Feb-09 14:44:08

And the gang-signs, with the hands!

Don't get me started.

I had no idea I felt this strongly about this grin

Takver Fri 13-Feb-09 14:47:56

But weren't we all reciting really grim stuff at the age of six or so (thinking of 'When Susie was a baby' and all the other chants & skipping rhymes) without understanding a word of them . . . .?

troutpout Fri 13-Feb-09 14:48:36

yabu a bit

hmm the porcelain doll

Anyway..she is obviously more interested in 'Amy' than in the other 'sweet little girls' for some reason or other.

Amy sounds fine tbh...if all there is to worry about is a (alleged) bra (remember they are only very little...just because they call it a 'bra' doesn't mean it is) and a rhyming song then i think you are over-reacting a bit.

SweetAudrina Fri 13-Feb-09 14:48:37

I have images of a group of 6 year olds bouncing away to Snoop Doggy Dogg grin

If she comes home telling you to "shizzle me nizzle" or similar ... ban Amy!

cory Fri 13-Feb-09 14:52:02

Well, what I find uncomfortable, Snigger, is teaching your children that you can write off a whole person because of the way they dress. Or that people will not be welcome in our house if they do not conform exactly to my standards.

My children do not wear make-up, my daughter has not been allowed to pierce her ears though she is at secondary school (many local children have them done as toddlers), they are not allowed to swear, they are only allowed very limited television and no computer games with any violence whatsoever, they are not allowed to eat in front of the TV and are allowed very little junk food.

But if I did not let them associate with anyone whose parents had different ideas, they would never have had any friends. And we would all have missed out on getting to know some lovely people.

Cutting them off from anyone who might make them question their parents' rules just seems to me like lazy parenting, as if you cannot be bothered as a parent to stand up for what you believe is right.

I am happy for my rules to be questioned because I believe they are good ones.

P.S. I often listen to jazz which also grew from inner-city deprivation.

snigger Fri 13-Feb-09 14:52:30

Or Justin doing a dance-along with Timba to "99 problems but the B** ain't one".

MrsMattie Fri 13-Feb-09 14:54:10

We'll have to agree to disagree@snigger. I've had this conversation with you before, I think (?). I really don't view hip hop in the same way as you at all, so would have absolutely no problem with my children going to a hip hop dance class (presumably they aren't playing 'Fuck the police'? grin...although it is a classic).

And I hardly think a 6 yr old girl with such an obviously protective, middle class mum is going to start throwing up Crip signs, either. I'm presuming you live more Chroleywood than Compton?@OP smile

Relax, ladies.

Amy will probably grow up just fine. I say that as the mouthy, wayward child from the crappy comprehensive who knew all about what those 'nice' girls at the Catholic private school were like wink

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