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to be furious that soon to be can't have kids as he is filling in CSA forms?

(11 Posts)
looneymum Thu 05-Feb-09 14:25:09

I am outraged.... what sort of man is he? He doesn't actually pay any maintenance but as the divorce/financials (he left me for another with two small kids in Dec 07) has dragged on for so long I have instigated CSA proceedings. I have been very generous with access, letting him see the kids three weekends every month.. they are just little and I want them to have a relationship with their father.... then he does this! Does he not realise that is not about us but about his lovely children. How great that you can just choose when you want to have them and if it's too much trouble or your have a form to fill in, you just don't bother! At christmas he was going to send them back home as the eldest DD was being "naughty"! Sorry .... very angry.... am I being unreasonable?

looneymum Thu 05-Feb-09 14:29:45

Sorry.. that title should have said soon to be ex!!! Am so angry that I cannot type! x

Tamarto Thu 05-Feb-09 14:29:57

No. Sounds like he's a pratt, but possibly he's a wanker.wink

looneymum Thu 05-Feb-09 14:31:23

Ah, how lovely.... pratt, wanker, fuck face... fat baldy fucker.... sorry.... but it's good to let the frustraration out! Thx Tamarto.

BouncingTurtle Thu 05-Feb-09 14:42:22

He sounds like my dad... only interested in parenting during the good times, then fecks off when the going gets tough.
YADNBU!

LoisGriffin Thu 05-Feb-09 14:46:52

Sorry to say but you're in for a lifetime of this.
All we want is our kids to know their father.
I forced it and now wish I hadn't.
I honestly believe they'd be better off without him.

diedandgonetodevon Thu 05-Feb-09 14:50:14

What a charming chap!
Like you say, kids do need their father but what a pity he's such a wanker!

fossa Thu 05-Feb-09 17:24:37

They don't always need their Father.

Really, they don't.

slightlycrumpled Thu 05-Feb-09 18:28:03

YANBU.

He sounds an idoit.

lulabellarama Thu 05-Feb-09 18:32:38

I agree fossa, some really aren't worth having around.

AnitaBlake Thu 05-Feb-09 19:52:46

Okay, first question is, when did you involve the CSA? My OH's ex reported him in the July and he didn't actually hear from them till September, so he may not have recieved the forms yet. He wans't on the BC because ex didn't want him to be, and so he had no choice but to ask for a DNA test, as a result he didn't actually pay any money until late december, all the while ex is accusing him of avoiding the CSA.

I'm sorry but I can't agree that kids don't need a dad. Some guys are losers and don't deserve to see the kids, but the kids need to work this out for themselves (and trust me, they will!) You need to put your own feelings aside and be the bigger person. I can link certain traits that both myself and my siblings have that are directly attributable to not having contact with my dad as kids. I don't want to cause offence, but if the dad wants to be involved, it is better for the kids, that said mine didn't want to know once the date was set for his wedding to his new wife, so what do I know, lol?

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