to expect mothers not to break off an adult conversation mid sentence because their dc has just toddled up...

[Fairynufff]

It usually happens in the middle of some really deep life crisis/personal revelation and then a child will toddle up (not an emergency) and the mother will just start cooing at the child about the toy/biscuit/whatever the child is waving around! Hello? We were in a conversation here...

[littlelamb]

welcome to motherhood

[BonsoirAnna]

YABU. Small children don't understand the immportance of adult conversations. Don't be so self-important.

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Depends on the age of the child, though. Small children do need to learn not to interupt grown-up conversations.

[Maveta]

..and if she didn´t you would soon find it hard to continue baring your soul once the cry of mamamamamamamaMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA became earsplitting.

[Fairynufff]

Small children don't understand the importance of adult conversations but adults should. I know of other mothers who will cuddle the child/nod/tickle all the while maintaining eye contact and not breaking off the conversation...

[Weegle]

eh? YABU - DS is 2.7 and just doesn't get not interrupting - I stand much more chance of holding a conversation with someone if I actually respond to DS quickly.

YAB very U!

[cornsilk]

YANBU. I know exactly what you mean. If mums said - 'Hang on a minute...'then that's fine. It's the, 'Yes 8 hour cream is marvellous don't you th...oh darling have you come to see mummy!' That gets on my tits.

[eekamoose]

Yanbu. Drives me nuts as well. Even more so now that our children are 8 and 5 and could easily be told to "please go away for a minute because the grown-ups are talking and don't want to be interrupted".

[policywonk]

IME, if you don't deal with whatever it is that the child is after, s/he will only continue to disrupt the conversation until you have. So dealing with the child's needs swiftly is a means to continuing the conversation.

[BonsoirAnna]

No, adults should understand that children need attention now whereas adults have the skill to postpone their needs.

[Weegle]

Out of interest - how old are your DC's?

[cornsilk]

People like this also tend to break off conversations to answer mobile phones and reply to texts IME.

[mazzystartled]

it depends

so there

[Weegle]

I don't break off a conversation to answer the phone/text... but if I ignore DS he will start whinging... then crying... he just doesn't get it. And out of my group of friends, neither do the other toddlers. He is just starting to understand waiting a few seconds, but nothing more. Any younger and there was no chance.

[BonsoirAnna]

cornsilk - I think that is an unfair assumption. Parents can distinguish between urgent toddler needs and non-urgent adult needs.

I don't have a mobile and the telephone goes infrequently enough in my house for me to always check who might be calling (in case of emergency).

Grrrrrrr. What kind of important adult conversation are you having that can't wait for a toddler who needs a Mummy-cuddle?

[Hayao]

Adults can delay gratification, [small] children can't.

[BonsoirAnna]

Exactly, Hayao.

[mazzystartled]

that is way ruder imo cornsilk
dealing with a person who is ACTUALLY THERE is more important than texts or calls
have to confess i have used dcs ambling over or saying "scuse me" as a means of getting off the subject of someone's self obsessed rant life crisis before now.

[cornsilk]

It's not the halting of the conversation though, it's the manner in which it's done.

[Fairynufff]

Don't get wrong - I have 3 children 8,7 and 4 and I know that there are times you have to break off but I always say 'hold that thought one sec..' deal with child and then say 'sorry where were we?' but I'm talking about mums (and it happens a lot hence the post) who just blatently break off to talk to a child who isn't in any real desperate need of attention - they have toddled over and would probably toddle off again happily if mum didn't bother.

[BonsoirAnna]

They have lovely mothers who care about them. Lucky children.

[MillyR]

YANBU, but it is a style of parenting that exists and I suppose you have to respect those parents for making that choice. I avoid mums who behave like that though.

[Othersideofthechannel]

If the todler is asking for attention, I think it's fair enough for the adult to interrupt the conversation.
If they don't, you just end up with sleeve tugging or other insisting behaviour which is even more irritating for the other adult IMO

But the OP seems to be referring to instances where the toddler is just nearby without asking for attention.....

[theresonlyme]

Absolutely fine.

Take a moment to deal with the child.

Child goes away happy.

Convo can carry on.

OR

ignore child

child moans

keep having to pacify child

convo forgotten.

take your pick

[Fairynufff]

BonsoirAnna I am not doubting the love those mothers have for those children but it's the rudeness they demonstrate toward another adult that bothers me.