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to expect mothers not to break off an adult conversation mid sentence because their dc has just toddled up...

(209 Posts)
Fairynufff Sat 24-Jan-09 19:05:41

It usually happens in the middle of some really deep life crisis/personal revelation and then a child will toddle up (not an emergency) and the mother will just start cooing at the child about the toy/biscuit/whatever the child is waving around! Hello? We were in a conversation here...

littlelamb Sat 24-Jan-09 19:06:48

hmm welcome to motherhood

BonsoirAnna Sat 24-Jan-09 19:06:59

YABU. Small children don't understand the immportance of adult conversations. Don't be so self-important.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 24-Jan-09 19:08:26

Depends on the age of the child, though. Small children do need to learn not to interupt grown-up conversations.

Maveta Sat 24-Jan-09 19:08:34

..and if she didn´t you would soon find it hard to continue baring your soul once the cry of mamamamamamamaMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA became earsplitting.

Fairynufff Sat 24-Jan-09 19:09:03

Small children don't understand the importance of adult conversations but adults should. I know of other mothers who will cuddle the child/nod/tickle all the while maintaining eye contact and not breaking off the conversation...

Weegle Sat 24-Jan-09 19:09:41

eh? YABU - DS is 2.7 and just doesn't get not interrupting - I stand much more chance of holding a conversation with someone if I actually respond to DS quickly.

YAB very U!

cornsilk Sat 24-Jan-09 19:09:51

YANBU. I know exactly what you mean. If mums said - 'Hang on a minute...'then that's fine. It's the, 'Yes 8 hour cream is marvellous don't you th...oh darling have you come to see mummy!' That gets on my tits.

eekamoose Sat 24-Jan-09 19:09:53

Yanbu. Drives me nuts as well. Even more so now that our children are 8 and 5 and could easily be told to "please go away for a minute because the grown-ups are talking and don't want to be interrupted".

policywonk Sat 24-Jan-09 19:10:13

IME, if you don't deal with whatever it is that the child is after, s/he will only continue to disrupt the conversation until you have. So dealing with the child's needs swiftly is a means to continuing the conversation.

BonsoirAnna Sat 24-Jan-09 19:10:34

No, adults should understand that children need attention now whereas adults have the skill to postpone their needs.

Weegle Sat 24-Jan-09 19:10:37

Out of interest - how old are your DC's?

cornsilk Sat 24-Jan-09 19:10:58

People like this also tend to break off conversations to answer mobile phones and reply to texts IME.

mazzystartled Sat 24-Jan-09 19:12:18

it depends

so there

Weegle Sat 24-Jan-09 19:13:21

I don't break off a conversation to answer the phone/text... but if I ignore DS he will start whinging... then crying... he just doesn't get it. And out of my group of friends, neither do the other toddlers. He is just starting to understand waiting a few seconds, but nothing more. Any younger and there was no chance.

BonsoirAnna Sat 24-Jan-09 19:13:33

cornsilk - I think that is an unfair assumption. Parents can distinguish between urgent toddler needs and non-urgent adult needs.

I don't have a mobile and the telephone goes infrequently enough in my house for me to always check who might be calling (in case of emergency).

Grrrrrrr. What kind of important adult conversation are you having that can't wait for a toddler who needs a Mummy-cuddle?

Hayao Sat 24-Jan-09 19:14:09

Adults can delay gratification, [small] children can't.

BonsoirAnna Sat 24-Jan-09 19:14:53

Exactly, Hayao.

mazzystartled Sat 24-Jan-09 19:14:55

that is way ruder imo cornsilk
dealing with a person who is ACTUALLY THERE is more important than texts or calls
have to confess i have used dcs ambling over or saying "scuse me" as a means of getting off the subject of someone's --self obsessed rant-- life crisis before now.

cornsilk Sat 24-Jan-09 19:15:29

It's not the halting of the conversation though, it's the manner in which it's done.

Fairynufff Sat 24-Jan-09 19:18:20

Don't get wrong - I have 3 children 8,7 and 4 and I know that there are times you have to break off but I always say 'hold that thought one sec..' deal with child and then say 'sorry where were we?' but I'm talking about mums (and it happens a lot hence the post) who just blatently break off to talk to a child who isn't in any real desperate need of attention - they have toddled over and would probably toddle off again happily if mum didn't bother.

BonsoirAnna Sat 24-Jan-09 19:18:59

They have lovely mothers who care about them. Lucky children.

MillyR Sat 24-Jan-09 19:19:12

YANBU, but it is a style of parenting that exists and I suppose you have to respect those parents for making that choice. I avoid mums who behave like that though.

Othersideofthechannel Sat 24-Jan-09 19:19:20

If the todler is asking for attention, I think it's fair enough for the adult to interrupt the conversation.
If they don't, you just end up with sleeve tugging or other insisting behaviour which is even more irritating for the other adult IMO

But the OP seems to be referring to instances where the toddler is just nearby without asking for attention.....

theresonlyme Sat 24-Jan-09 19:19:51

Absolutely fine.

Take a moment to deal with the child.

Child goes away happy.

Convo can carry on.

OR

ignore child

child moans

keep having to pacify child

convo forgotten.

take your pick

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