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To want to actually murder my dog

(105 Posts)
LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 09:34:09

The snivelling little runt!!!

So, all this week i have had to cajole my DD out of bed ready for nursery. Was working on DPs accounts until late last night and thought, oooh, might actually be able to sleep in tomorrow morning. DP out looking at a job, but no - what happens, as soon as DP leaves at six am - the bastard dog lets himeslf into DDs room and wakes her up - cue DD wanting to get up and play (that means with me). I'm shattered, i honestly feel like i need matchsticks to open my eyes. All that and its fecking cold too - turned the heating on full blast despite stupid gas bills.

So, up even earlier, DD irritable, no bread, no sugar - arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh, i NEED my tea and toast in the morning. DP not left any money so can't even go and buy bread and sugar.

Yes, thats it - i'm going to kill the dog, cook him up in a stew and serve him up to DP when he gets home.

cheshirekitty Sat 10-Jan-09 09:40:55

How did dog get into dd's bedroom?

I would blame dp rather than bastard dog.

compo Sat 10-Jan-09 09:42:00

don't you have access to any money?!!

norksinmywaistband Sat 10-Jan-09 09:42:17

more appropriate to murder Dp for not leaving money, buying shopping, going out to work in the first place, not taking Dog with him.

Can you tell i'm hormonal grin

FioFio Sat 10-Jan-09 09:44:59

Message withdrawn

LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 09:48:43

Yeah , you are probably right - I'll murder DP, cook him in a stew and serve him up to the dog! Normally, bastard dog (i might change his name) comes upstairs when DP leaves and jumps in our bed.

compo - my money cupboard (bank) is bare! Normally DP leaves me money on the side or his bank card but must have forgot this morning - will have to blag at DDs ballet too. He should be home by lunch - so i think a nice cafe lunch should be on the menu - ah but hang on, i can't do that can i, because i will be murdering him and serving him up to the bastard dog!

belgo Sat 10-Jan-09 09:49:45

Do you not have your own bank account LEM?

LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 09:50:40

Fio, im not sure i was hacked off because i couldn't have my morning glass of wine shockgrin.

Dog looking very worried, getting the cold shoulder this morning

LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 09:52:41

yes belgo - but its empty!! lol - long story - but suffice to say that DP is not a meany who leaves me with no money, it just works better for us this way. Except on mornings when i have no sugar and bread for my tea and toast.

Oh great, the dog has just farted - i feel sick. I am going to have to kill it

cheshirekitty Sat 10-Jan-09 09:53:09

Not dogs fault, give him a hug.

Kick dp when he gets home.

happychappy Sat 10-Jan-09 09:57:32

I generally want to kill my dog when he pees on my bed to piss me off. He hasn't done it since the last time when I battered him and put him in the garden or the night (in January) Very cold then.

So I'm feeling you.

AlistairSim Sat 10-Jan-09 10:04:35

This is exactly why I only have goldfish.

I can say with some degree of safety that they have never woken the dcs.

NAB3lovelychildren Sat 10-Jan-09 10:08:03


your dp is the one in the wrong

FioFio Sat 10-Jan-09 10:09:09

Message withdrawn

LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 10:09:46

lmao - happychappy!!! (you're soooo going to get flamed for that - this might be hardfaced tell it like it is mumsnet, but putting a cute little fluffywuffydoggy out for the night is gonna make people incandesent with rage! (im with you though but shhhhh dont tell anyone)).

You wont belieeeeeeeeve this:- DP has just rung and told me he has got a £60 parking ticket - wanker!!!

FioFio Sat 10-Jan-09 10:12:25

Message withdrawn

LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 10:13:01

Och, too late NAB - i wish you had came along with your YABU cos i just garrotted the little fucker. hmmmm, i wonder if DP will notice his absence!!! grin

cheshirekitty Sat 10-Jan-09 10:14:42

This will make you laugh.

dh and dog sleeping on the sofa. dog very old (15), she is now departed.

dog wakes up wanting a pee, but shes nice, warm and comfortable.

dog decides not to bother getting up off the sofa and wee's on dh.

me and dd posl. dog develops the ability to fly and leaps through the air. dh has never gotten up off the sofa so fast in his life.

happychappy Sat 10-Jan-09 10:15:08

When you have to sleep on a cold floor in January when theres snow outside because your dog has weeed on your bed see how you feel. I think the dog was lucky to live myself

lilymolly Sat 10-Jan-09 10:16:14

oh you lot are all wonderful dog loving people arent you

blame dp not the dog although I do understand your frustration.

brimfull Sat 10-Jan-09 10:19:08

oh you can cook my dog with yours

she did a lovely slimy crap all over the floor in the middle of the night,despite being let out

have just had to scrub it off floor


LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 12:00:18

Does anyone have the recipe for DP stew - he just rang me and told me he has gone to lunch with his mate - he wont be back for ages then, great, no shopping done, nothing for lunch here angry

The dog is quite relieved that my wrath is being channeled elsewhere

BlueSapphire77 Sat 10-Jan-09 12:38:58

Lol @ this thread.

Let the dog wake DP up with lots of doggy breath sloppy kisses.

My work here is done.

<<Scuttles away>>

LucyEllensmummy Sat 10-Jan-09 12:43:19

trouble is Blue, my dog is too small to make much difference with doggy breath and sloppy kisses. I'll just borrow yours (can't garuntee i'd send him back though ).

ilovelovemydog Sat 10-Jan-09 12:45:47

Lucy - shall we trade? You can have insomniac 10 month old and 2 year old who loves mornings and I'll borrow the dog smile

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