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In expecting the teacher NOT to shorten my sons name?

(75 Posts)
Deemented Fri 09-Jan-09 14:34:48


In the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world, but it's driving me up the wall!!!

His name is Brennan. Not Bren and most certainly not fucking Brennie!!!

I am possibly being fucking precious, but if i'd wanted him to be called Bren i would have put it on his birth certificate angry

I did ask before crimbo - very politely, i may add - for them not to shorten his name, but ealier we were a little late going in and had to knock, and when the TA opened the door she said.. 'Alright, Brennie?'


Lauriefairycake Fri 09-Jan-09 14:35:44

do his pals call him that? cos I've noticed people just falling in line with what others call someone

dashboardconfessionals Fri 09-Jan-09 14:36:52

Message withdrawn

bangandthedirtisgone Fri 09-Jan-09 14:37:41

Does he like it? DOes it matter what you think if he doesn't mind?

I think you're being a bit of a control freak. Sorry.

Fimbo Fri 09-Jan-09 14:38:53

I know someone in the same predicament with a child called Benjamin. He is Benjamin not Ben. But as you can guess people are calling him Ben and someone else is starting to call him Benjy

cory Fri 09-Jan-09 14:40:45

Well, he is moving out into the outside world now, out of your control. It's a wrench, but it's got to come. You can't control his environment forever. As he grows older, it will be less and less about what you want and more about what he wants. If he doesn't like being called Brennie, he'll have to tell his mates.

Can't say I like my dd's new nickname at all, but that is her concern, not mine. I shall stick to the annoying trick of ignoring any requests for change and calling her by her old name "because you're my baby" grin

But I can't expect the rest of the world to see it like that.

ScottishMummy Fri 09-Jan-09 14:40:55

i understand your annoyance,but unfortunately some names are inevitably shortened despite parental wishes

you will end up tolerating it as time goes on

as an adolescent and adult he can decide whether to correct the abbreviation himself

IdrisTheDragon Fri 09-Jan-09 14:43:30

I'd really say to try not to let it bother you. I have a Benjamin who other people shorten to Ben. There are four other Bens in his class at school which does help a bit (at least he's a Benjamin rather than the 5th Ben) but I know he sometimes gets called Ben.

He prefers Benjamin as well (my brain washing must be working wink) but did consider being a Ben when he was learning how to write his name grin.

Deemented Fri 09-Jan-09 14:43:53

But he's just turned four - and all his friend do call him by his name - as does everyone else, apart from his teachers. They did say they called him that as a term of endearment... but i think it's gahstly.

But that's just me.

IdrisTheDragon Fri 09-Jan-09 14:44:06

DS has been known to correct other people.

Posey Fri 09-Jan-09 14:45:13

Everyone calls me by my shortened name, except my mum. She likes my full name and therefore uses it. But she realises she can't stop others.

But if your ds doesn't like have another word at school. Dd's friend is Eleanor. Always Eleanor. One teacher called her Ellie. She said "I don't like Ellie, can you call me Eleanor" and he did. But that was the child's choice.

MadamDeathstare Fri 09-Jan-09 14:45:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoloPlayingMummy Fri 09-Jan-09 14:46:17

This drives me mad too but i think once they are at school you can't have the same control.

Hulababy Fri 09-Jan-09 14:47:25

Just repeat the correct name back to the TA/teacher, or just say quietly/politely "sorry, he/we really hate the shortened version".

The teacher/TA won't be doing it to annoy you or be malicious. She probably just thinks she is beingaffectionate, using a pet name form.

My DD is Mollie. At school she often gets it shortened to Moll. Not great, but it really isn't important to us or her. If she is in a certain frame of mind she corrects them, otherwise it passes her by.

Children will shorten/engthen.change names and use nn. It is part and parcel really.

kittywise Fri 09-Jan-09 14:47:45

leave it, you'll never win this one.

MadMarg Fri 09-Jan-09 14:47:53

YANBU - Teachers should call your child what you ask them to. If you don't want it shortened, they shouldn't shorten it.

grumpalina Fri 09-Jan-09 14:50:21

My Ds has name that can be shortened and I really don't like the shortened version. However his teacher asked them what they want to be known by and he requested the shortening.

I hate it but he's 8 and he is able to make his own choice about his name.

youknownothingofthecrunch Fri 09-Jan-09 14:53:07

Am I the only one who considers all the variations of a name before choosing it? I prefer my ds2's longer name, but considered that his friends might use any number of shortenings of it, all of which are acceptable to me (just). Of course this is all going to backfire on me when his nickname ends up being something completely unconnected to his name grin but I've done all I can.

Yes I'm being a know-it-all git. Sorry. And in this particular circumstance the school should respect your decision, so do have another word with them.

But at some point he may well decide (or have it decided for him by his peers) to shorten it and then you will have no control.

jenwa Fri 09-Jan-09 14:53:21

I had this with DD1 (especiall6y with MIL who said she would call her what she wanted hmm
I think what you call them is your choice and they can change it when they are older to what they prefer but until then people should respect your choice of name.

I had it with my name and my mum always corrected people and in the end they called me by my name until I told them when I was older what I prefered.

If it makes you happier I would just have a quiet word (you can say it in a nice way) just say you dont actaully like it being shortened and actaully Brenie is the same syllables as brenan so no change there!

My mum walked into my class lengthening my name when teacher shortened it and she never did it again! grin

saucysusie Fri 09-Jan-09 14:54:27

Yes let it go....I agree you'll never win this one. Sosxxx

seeker Fri 09-Jan-09 14:54:35

It's his name, not yours. If he likes it, there's nothing you can do about it.

TheProvincialLady Fri 09-Jan-09 14:57:47

I'm afraid you have lost your argument by using the word crimbogrin

WheresMummysValiumKids Fri 09-Jan-09 14:58:38

My son is Gregory and I've had people tell me "you CAN'T call a baby Gregory, it's just silly. I'm going to call him Greg." Most people call him his full name. Only the odd person shortens it. At least he has two options though.

I still use his full name though.

I used to feel a little bit 'hang on?' when people shortened by other child's name from Annabel to Annie Apple! But Annie Apple has caught on. But I've stopped caring. I don't know, one day you just don't care anymore!? Does that help?

You call your son Brennan. That's what YOU call him.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch Fri 09-Jan-09 15:02:42

Message withdrawn

purepurple Fri 09-Jan-09 15:03:28

I think the school should follow your wishes and call him by his proper name. But what does your son call himself? My husband is called Michael, known as Mick to EVERYONE except his mother. She insists on calling him Michael, and he hates it.

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