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AIBU?

To drop a relative as facebook friend as he posts shocking photos?

48 replies

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 13:32

My dh's sister is married to an Iranian and they have four children aged 16-26

I have linked up with all the girls on facebook and we share gossip and look at each others photos and its nice as we dont see much of each other

Yesterday i linked up with my 16 year old nephew and he confirmed me as a friend and i went onto his page to send him a message and see how hes doing.

He has just posted a picture on his page and for those who know facebook it appears as soon as you open the home page

The picture is of a child who has been killed in the gaza bombings and its very very graphic. I cannot describe what i saw as it would shock the reader and im very upset

i removed him as a friend and sent a message to his oldest sister to tell her to 'have a word'

i thought it was better coming from her as they are close than me as hes very much an angry young man

AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

pudding25 · 07/01/2009 13:37

No, yanbu. I also think you can ask facebook to remove offensive photos. I think it is good you mentioned this to his sister. Highly unappropriate and disturbing to have loaded a photo of this.

DaddyJ · 07/01/2009 13:39

People use facebook in different ways.

I don't think you cannot condemn him for expressing his outrage.
Taking him out of your network should have been enough.

If you are unlucky you might get an earful from his sister.
Have you noticed the 2 Gaza threads on MN?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 07/01/2009 13:41

Is he trying to promote the suffering that is being caused there? The picture was probably intended to shock.

Pinkjenny · 07/01/2009 13:42

Shesells - I posted on your clicky hips thread earlier - is dd ok?

As you were.

doggiesayswoof · 07/01/2009 13:43

Drop him as a friend if you like. I would not want to click on a link and be confronted with an image like that.

But... there is a massive amount of frustration about what is going on in gaza wrt pictures like this NOT being shown in the western media. The true extent of the carnage is being hidden from a lot of people.

I was on a pro-palestinian demo at the weekend and people had banners with shocking images on them. It made me sick to see them and would never carry a banner like that myself. But I can understand why people want to show the reality of what is going on.

DaddyJ · 07/01/2009 13:45

'I don't think you cannot'
I meant: 'You cannot condemn him..'.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 07/01/2009 13:48

Yes, thanks, she has had her appt now and has nothing wrong with her hips/legs but does have a minor case of faltfoot which she should correct herself when she is older.

They are going to monitor her 6 monthly to see how she progresses before deciding if she will need any treatment.

Pinkjenny · 07/01/2009 13:49

Brilliant news.

laweaselmys · 07/01/2009 13:51

I think you have to handle this carefully. I imagine he is frustrated and does want to shock people, I think you need to have people talk to him about what's going on politically to try and help and what he could do in that direction (and try and encourage him away from the shock tactics be default)

Hassled · 07/01/2009 13:57

He's an impassioned, angry teenager - have a gentle word with his mother if you want but tread carefully - the situation is obviously something he cares very deeply about and the knock-on effects of the upset the picture causes probably hadn't occurred to him.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 13:59

I think everyone has a right to feel strongly about whats going on in the world

but what i object to is the use of the image of a child.Surely there has to be a line in whats used as an image used to inform/shock people?

OP posts:

wannaBe · 07/01/2009 14:02

you said that he is a very angry young man, coupled with these pictures I would be quite worried tbh.

I'm not going to spel it out but ykwim.

DaddyJ · 07/01/2009 14:08

Well, animal rights people use the same shock tactics.
Drink driving and NSPCC adverts do it.

wannaBe, do I understand you correctly?
I am sure MI5 are already onto him..

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 14:09

i know

my dh is ex army and he is very concerned about a few things that have come to light

OP posts:

laweaselmys · 07/01/2009 14:09

wannaBe is prodding you in the right direction. You really need to handle this very careful. Forget the photo (I know it's hard) and work with this boy so he feels like he is doing something productive before he goes looking himself and gets involved in something way over his head.

branflake81 · 07/01/2009 14:12

Actually I don't think it's any of your business a) what his views are and b) what photos he posts on facebook.

Ban him as a friend if you really don't like it but I don't think there is any need to ask your sister to have a word etc.

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 07/01/2009 14:13

Didn't one of the papers (guardian or similar) use a photo of a child as a front page item the other day with regard to the Gaza situation?

Why should he not use that image? It is an accurate portrayal of what is happening. It's not palatable but it is fact. You nephew is entitled to portray and discuss that fact if he wishes.

at daddyj, oh yes, MI5 have huge databases of peoples names based on the fact they are angry.

doggiesayswoof · 07/01/2009 14:14

Yes DaddyJ, I'm sure his phone is being tapped as we speak.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 14:15

thats why i contacted the elderst girl.she was kicked out by her dad for being too westernised.its all odd.dad has a phd in engineering but until recently worked in a pizza shop

but they have always had money,own house in iran,he takes 3 youngest kids there for 6 week hols.they live in a council house but on xmas eve sister in law said they were buying a house in a nice area and husband was now a black cab driver

must have made a lot of pizzas.second eldest was bought a 700 bag for finishing masters degree and both she and younger sister are engaged to men in iran. i told eldest girl to get her list ready when she qualifies as a teacher next year and she said she wont get anything like that

OP posts:

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 14:18

because its a pic of a child? why take a photo like that and have it available for people to see?

do we need to see graphic images of mutilated children to remind ourselves of the suffering whats going on?
i think not

OP posts:

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 07/01/2009 14:18

Oh for fucks sake. This isn't about a photo at all is it.

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 07/01/2009 14:19

Are children not affected by war then? Do they all live in a fluffy pink bubble that protects them from all harm? Of course not, i see no issue with reminding people that the situation is causing pain and suffering for innocent people including children.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 14:20

its is about the photo but i do think that potentially because of other things that have gone on he could get involved in something over his head.

OP posts:

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/01/2009 14:22

i disagree sorry

i dont think pople need to see a pic of a mutilated child to know whats going on in the world.

if that was the case, these images would be commonplace

OP posts:

Idrankthechristmasspirits · 07/01/2009 14:24

Bollocks! You make no reference to "other things" that have gone on other than the fact that they live in a council house but will soon move to a house of their own and the husband has a new job as a cab driver etc etc, and making sad faces because you cannot give your daughter a £700 bag.

There is nothing sinister going on here. This is about jealousy and i refuse to engage with it any further as your implications that the son is involved in terrorism (because that is what you are implying) stem from stereotype.

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