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To be fuming that my 'friend' is doing that awful bitching about someone on facebook thing. About me. Sob.

(25 Posts)
TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 06-Jan-09 11:14:55

I'm inexplicably angry about it and need to hold myself back from joining in tit for tat and all.

We very rarely see each other, but have known each other for so long it doesn't really matter. I was away for christmas and new year and have also travelled all over the place visiting friends and family. I had three days at my mums house and she lives about four miles away from her. We had planned a night out on Saturday but my mum was called into work at the last minute so I had noone to mind the DC and had to cancel, she went out anyway as it was a big group.

Sunday I invited her, along with others to my mums for sunday lunch. She refused to come unless she could bring her dog which is a massive pit bull type thing, really badly behaved and frankly scary. My DC and my mums dog would have been terrified so it wasn't an option.

I invited her out yesterday as we were all meeting for drinks but she said no as she apparently'doesn't like' one of the people we were meeting.

Then last night she called me to ask me round to hers for drinks, I was leaving to come home at 5.30am and also wanted to spend time with my mum and dad so told her I couldn't and she was really huffy.

Now since she's been updating her facebook status with really bitchy digs and freely slagging me off if people ask her what's wrong. I think this may be the death of our friendship, what on earth is she thinking?


GaspodTheWonderDog Tue 06-Jan-09 11:18:09

She's a friend? OMG! She sounds like a demented teenager. I would definitely make this the end of your friendship.

Thomcat Tue 06-Jan-09 11:18:34

Ho whorrid! People are strange aren't they. She wants to spend time with you so much that she's prepapred to slag you off when it doesn't happen! Be disappointed yes but slag you off -! shock

I'd have a cup of tea and call her and either sort it out or properly have it out with er. Either way not just fester.

wotulookinat Tue 06-Jan-09 11:18:44

sounds like she isn't the type of friend you need. Delete her from your friend list and let it go. Don't let her pettiness or bitchiness upset you.

BlueSapphire77 Tue 06-Jan-09 11:19:55

I would just ignore her page for a while.
What a big tit.
You sure you want a friend like this lol

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 06-Jan-09 11:20:35

It's tough though, she always has been a little snide but I have been able to ignore it. We have been friends since we were 11 and it seems a shame to lose that.

Right now she can go feck herself though.

sleepyeyes Tue 06-Jan-09 11:21:18

What a Cow obviously very self-involved. I would send her a face book message ( a public one) giving all the reasons why you couldn't meet up and then end nicely with have a nice life we are no longer friends.

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 06-Jan-09 11:22:34

She sent me a lovely message too, delight in the passive aggressive undertones

'I realise you have bigger priorities in your life but perhaps I was made to feel a fool at being excited to see you. Yours and x and x's christmas presents will be in the post when I can get round to it'

Ingles2 Tue 06-Jan-09 11:23:11

how weird and horrid DWP.
Does she think you're not going to see her facebook status? or is she jealous and trying to make a really juvenile point?

Gorionine Tue 06-Jan-09 11:23:32

I am not on facebook and after reading several thread about stories like yours I do not think I am missing much. I think Thomcat is right, Iwould also confront her and if thing do not go to well I would just let her go. Nobody needs friends who slag you off publically at the first hurdle!

Gorionine Tue 06-Jan-09 11:24:22


Ingles2 Tue 06-Jan-09 11:25:25

hmm well ..yes... caring for your dc's would be a bigger priority. sounds like a self absorbed child.
I'd leave it for a while and see what happens.

NCBirdy Tue 06-Jan-09 11:28:12

I would be tempted to send one back saying "it appears we both do, it is a shame - after all this time - to find that a few hours without your dog is more important than seeing us"

I wouldn't though because that would make me as petty and childish as she is being. I agree about ignoring her and her page for a while. See if the gifts turn up and then carry on as if nothing happened - if you want to preserve the relationship (personally I wouldn't, going on what you have said here)

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 06-Jan-09 11:28:31

Hmm facebook can be the work of the devil. I do wonder why people post their whole life on there. It is good if you use it just to keep in touch with people but this sort of thing is just wrong. It's like laughing about someone at the back of the classroom when you know they can hear you.

Thomcat Tue 06-Jan-09 11:33:07

Send her one back that says

Yes sorry I do have bigger priorites, of course I do, same as you do. But that's not to say I wasn't also excited about seeing you and was also dissapointed when circumstances beyond my control prevented that. I don't really understand though why dissapointment in not being able to be together as friends is now resulting in you being so cross and frankly unplesant about the whole thing. We've been friends since we were 11, seems a shame that we are still acting as if we were 11! Anyway, I'm here and not going anywhere so call me you're less cross!

Or words to that effect.
Or not??!!

MarlaSinger Tue 06-Jan-09 11:36:44

Oh just tell her to fuck off and shove her Christmas presents up her arse

am not feeling very charitable today...

sunnygirl1412 Tue 06-Jan-09 11:39:09

Publicly, And don't be put off Facebook - I use it and have got back in touch with several friends with whom I'd lost touch, including some who'd moved house so hadn't got my change of address letters and who I'd have totally lost without a networking site like Facebook.

And I do like your answer to the message, Thomcat - polite, reasonable and mature. I think that TheDevilWearsPrimark should post it publicly on Facebook - it will certainly show her as the mature and fairminded one!

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Tue 06-Jan-09 11:39:18

Message withdrawn

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 06-Jan-09 11:43:40

Hmm that's a good idea Thomcat. In fact I may just send an email along those lines, therefore cutting out facebook altogether.

People are strange hey? I have friends that broadcast every last detail of their break up on facebook, even down to copying texts they had received from each other, it was horrible to see.

jojosmaman Tue 06-Jan-09 11:55:39

OMG how old are your friends?! Most of my friends status's (stati??!) go along the lines of "is eating chocolate", "is having a bath" "is going to tesco", it sounds really odd for grown people to use it in the way you describe tbh.

MillyR Tue 06-Jan-09 11:57:38

I would try to rise above it. She will look utterly foolish for posting about such a matter on Facebook.

Gorionine Tue 06-Jan-09 12:03:16

Thank you Sunnygirl, I think I need more people like you. an army of people like you in fact to help me with dreaded spelling!

I also like Thomcat's approach, to the pont but calm and collected.

Gorionine Tue 06-Jan-09 12:05:08

Thank you Sunnygirl, I think I need more people like you. an army of people like you in fact to help me with dreaded spelling!

I also like Thomcat's approach, to the pont but calm and collected.

Thomcat Tue 06-Jan-09 12:09:23

Oh god don't do it on Facebook, rise above that and email her or text her.
Personally, I'd be cross but I would try and smooth it over or it would get to me. I have to have things out. A friend since you were 11 has been around for all those years for a reason.

MillyR Tue 06-Jan-09 12:13:09

I meant that the friend of the OP will look foolish for having posted on FB and the foolishness will be highlighted by OP rising above it and not responding on FB. I hope that was clear; I didn't mean my post before to imply the OP was foolish!

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