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to feel bad for getting dd a BLUE bike?

(86 Posts)
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump Sat 27-Dec-08 17:33:04

Dd is 2.8. She doesn't really understand about Christmas and Father Christmas, but is starting to get the idea, even if she's a bit confused about some aspects.

Well, Dp and I thought that a bicycle would be a great Christmas present for her. We sounded her out, and she was keen on the idea. We went to Toys R Us and chose a cute little turquoise and green bike with dinosaurs on it. On Christmas morning, she got up to find a BRAND NEW SHINY BICYCLE under the Christmas tree!!!

She was delighted.

Except... quite a few times since, she has come for a quiet cuddle and with a wobbly little lip asked me why Father Christmas brought her a blue bicycle? Why didn't he know that she would like a pink bicycle?

I've tried selling the blue / green one ("because your eyes are beautiful and green and they match!" / "because FC wanted it to match Ariel's beautiful tail!" / "Because you've got so much pink stuff that a BLUE bicycle would be SPECIAL!") but no dice.

I feel really bad, because I bought her a blue bicycle because I don't like the bubblegum pink saturation of small girls. If I had spent a millionth of a second's thought on what dd would like I would have bought her the sparkliest, pinkest, ribbonyest, garishest, bubblegumiest bicycle in the city.

But I didn't think of dd. I got all high-horsey and thought Small Girls Shouldn't Be Gender Steriotyped. And Grrrr To The Disneyfication Of My Daughter. And If I Buy Her A Blue Bike She Will Be A Lawyer For Human Rights, But If I Buy Her A Pink Bike She Will Be A Nail Technician.

I am crap. Crap crap crap. I feel crap.

She's not being a brat. She's very pleased to have a bicycle. She's just so sad that Father Christmas didnt care enough to get her a pink one. When she thinks about it she gets tearful.

Before anyone gets all cross with her for not being grateful, I'll repeat that she's only 2.8. She doesn't really understand much of what's going on.

Dp and I are considering swapping it for a pink one and saying that FC made a mistake and came back to fix it. We can afford to swap it, and put the blue dinosaur bike away until ds needs it in a couple of years from now.

I can't quite get past the idea that we're being heinously soft and over indulgent and are raising a horrible spoiled brat by swapping it. I thought I'd see what MNers think.

(I know I'm in AIBU, so please tell me straight, but don't be too mean!)

hertsnessex Sat 27-Dec-08 17:34:56

hhhmmm, tricky one. personally i wouldnt swap it - she will get over the pink thing in seconds - get her a pink bell or horn for it.

Ponders Sat 27-Dec-08 17:36:46

YANBU (& at her age, neither is she).

If you can afford to get a pink one, & have somewhere to stash the blue one (out of sight, out of mind!) then yes, do it.

HaventSleptForAYear Sat 27-Dec-08 17:37:06

I wouldn't swap it either. DS is getting a bike soon and keeps changing his mind about what colour he wants.

It will depend what's in the shops and what is right for him.

Once she starts riding it she'll love it - the pink bell idea is great - how about some of those tassles off the handles?

Bumperlicious Sat 27-Dec-08 17:40:40

My mum bought DD a trike for her birthday and got her a blue one (so that we can keep it if we have a boy next!), but she was only 1 yr old so didn't care. She does have a pink basket on it though.

Can you go to Toys R Us together and chose some bits to "Pink Her Ride"?! Don't worry too much. She can dine out on the story as an adult and blame all the ills in her life on the blue bike!

LedodgyChristmasjumper Sat 27-Dec-08 17:40:49

I'd buy her one of those pink fluffy seat covers from halfords and the ahndles with pink ribbons, pink bell, helmet etc. I'm sure this wil appease her.

girly acessories here

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Sat 27-Dec-08 17:41:02

Only you can tell if she really is upset by the blue enough and would actually really be pleased as punch with a pink one

or if she will just get over the blue thing in a day or two

from your op I think she wont really forget it and I would put the blue one away and get her a pink one if you can afford it

LedodgyChristmasjumper Sat 27-Dec-08 17:42:50

You could always spray it pink with car paint rather than buy a new bike.

FunnyLittleFrog Sat 27-Dec-08 17:44:56

Don't swap it or she could ask to swap other gifts too and you'll have massive problems explaning why that's not possible. She might just be a bit tearful becuase of over-excitement and will forget all about the pink bike after a few days.

LOL at 'if I Buy Her A Blue Bike She Will Be A Lawyer For Human Rights, If I Buy Her A Pink Bike She Will Be A Nail Technician'. I feel like that too and my dd is only 10 weeks old!

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump Sat 27-Dec-08 17:46:35

I suppose I was excited about her being thrilled with her new bike. I'm cross with myself, because she's not squeakily thrilled and excited and it's my own silly fault.

Lol Bumper - like the idea of her blaming the Blue Bike for everything for ever more!

wheresthehamster Sat 27-Dec-08 17:48:47

It's more about her feeling let down by FC. I'd make up some elaborate story about him wanting the blue one back and would she like a pink one instead? BUT make sure you can DEFINITELY get the pink one first!

I made some gender mistakes with dd1 that I regret so you're not alone. E.g. not letting her have dolls only cuddly toys blush.

Swedes Sat 27-Dec-08 17:49:12

You are being soft and over indulgent. She is a very lucky girl to have a new bike.

LadyOfWaffle Sat 27-Dec-08 17:50:11

Aww, get her some pink ribbons for the handlebar etc. And glittery pink stickers? All removable/swapable if she wants something else.

Ponders Sat 27-Dec-08 17:54:00

"I made some gender mistakes with dd1 that I regret so you're not alone."

So did I, hamster - with clothes & shoes & toys amongst other things - the guilt drives me to want to make it up elsewhere grin

Uriel Sat 27-Dec-08 18:01:48

I would swap it as it's her present and she would prefer a pink one.

She can have a pink bike and still be a human rights lawyer. wink

ChristmasPresence Sat 27-Dec-08 18:04:25

why not wrap up a load of pink accessories along with a note from FC saying he's sorry but ran out of pink bikes, so hopes she likes these?

Mooseheart Sat 27-Dec-08 18:06:00

Oh I was given a blue bike, despite repeatedly asking for a pink one.

I still blame my parents to this day for all my gender displacement issues.


My parents bought blue bikes for my two dds this year - dd2 doesn't mind because she thinks she's a boy anyway, but dd1 (who's 4) has calmly accepted it, but I think is quietly wishing it was a pink one. hmm

Bless you, I think you're entirely human to feel this way. With a younger child like yours, I would be tempted to replace it with a pink one. She is too young to be 'spoiled' by this if it is a one-off occasion!

frankbestfriend Sat 27-Dec-08 18:06:51

I would swap it too, but then I freely admit to being soft and over indulgentwink

wheresthehamster Sat 27-Dec-08 18:08:05

Ponders - dd1 was dressed in tracksuits and baseball caps from 12 months onwards. I never bought her a dress. Oh the shame!

By dd2 I had lightened up and she was a pink princess (I probably went too far the other way!)

Dd3 has done her own thing and is a right tomboy - blue bedroom, football mad. And no interference from me at all grin

base Sat 27-Dec-08 18:10:39

I think you should swap it, I just read your op to my dh and he said swap it as well

Swedes Sat 27-Dec-08 18:11:11

If you change the bike it sends the message that wobbling her bottom lip and being dis-satisfied will forever get her what she wants. Gratefulness is absolutely learned and it's your job to teach it.

Stop encouraging her disappointment and get her out in the fresh air on the bike and she will soon fall in love with it.

ChristmasPresence Sat 27-Dec-08 18:12:31

I had a maroon bike, then a silver one. What's my profession then?

ScroogeMacDog Sat 27-Dec-08 18:21:15

To echo other people, get pink bits and bobs for it.

She'll get over it smile

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump Sat 27-Dec-08 18:23:05

Are you an astronaught CP?

Nighbynight Sat 27-Dec-08 18:29:55

I wouldnt swap it. My dd2 is a bit precious like this and I try not to encourage it.

she is jolly lucky to have a bike, but I guess at her age she doesnt know that!

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