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If I went to bed and left DP to put DD to bed when they get in?

(39 Posts)
AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 16:58:49

Ok so some history.

DP works nights so as a rule NEVER puts DD to bed but stays in bed himself - normally listening to me struggle.
They've gone out today, alot later than he said (2pm) and he said he'd be back in time for Prison Break at 10pm.

I'm ill, I've been tidying all week and really want an early night. I get the feeling he's gonna come home at 10pm pass DD to me and plonk himself in front of the TV while I do the night time routine with a either a grumpy overtired DD or a DD who's had a nap on the hours drive back and be wide awake.

So can I just go to bed and feign deafness when he comes in?

leoleomakingalist Tue 23-Dec-08 17:01:25

Quick go now just incase they're early wink YANBU

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:02:20

LMAO - I've still got some tidying to do and I need some food but I was thinking that a nice early 7pm bedtime would be GREAT!!

MotherChristmas2OliverJames Tue 23-Dec-08 17:03:00

Have you immaculated your house? <wags finger>

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 17:04:48

He works nights and is still in bed when you put Dd down?????
What time does she go to bed? What time does he get in?


DECKmuppetWITHBOUGHSOFHOLLY Tue 23-Dec-08 17:06:26

send him a text saying you're ill so gone to bed could he put dd to bed tonight then at least you'll get some relaxed sleep rather than worrying whether he'll do what you want him too.

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:06:40

Hey it's nearly done. Seriously today I've .....

Done 2 loads of washing and drying (another just about to go in)
Taken the double mattress down the stairs, through the house and outside ready for skiping.
Scrubbed (hands and knees jobby) the stairs cos I still don't have a carpet (hmm mutters bloody skinflint DP)
Hoovered upstairs
Moved the spare doors to the spare room

Am just about to
sort out the bed (I moved everything on to the bed while hoovering so I could put it all in it's places on a clean floor)
Rearrange DD's room
Put her hammock up
Sort out her bed (done same)

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:07:36

Tiny - He normally goes to bed around 12pm and gets up at 9pm. (I know, I know I wish!!)

Deck - Hmmm might do that but I'm pretty sure if I ask him he'll tell me not to.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 17:09:46

NINE HOURS?!?!?!?!

Pfft. You should make his new years resolution for him!

"This year I shall get up in time to spend some time with my child and put her to bed so my lovely wife can have a rest."

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:13:56

Tiny - It's a conversation we've had many times.. Easier to just leave him to it. His argument is that he works in a physically demanding job whereas I can just sit down all day if I want to hmm Yes honey course I can!!

I'm hoping that today (on his own with DD) will teach him this is soooo not true.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 17:15:47

You must put your foot down now!!
If you say it's easier it will one day be easier for him to sit on his arse doing nothing at all whilst you work, clean, do the childcare, look after elderly relatives and EVERYTHING and he watches the racing.
Believe me, it's my PiL.

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:16:49

LMAO - that could be my taid (welsh grandad) easily!! haha

No he's not that bad. He does help around the house now and then and doesn't create too much mess so I'm ok with it for now.

But yeh I'm hoping that today will teach him

MarlaCarolSinger Tue 23-Dec-08 17:17:08


he thinks you can sit down all day?

YANBU and in fact you're doing yourself a major major disservice if you don't leave him to it tonight.

MarlaCarolSinger Tue 23-Dec-08 17:17:38

'Help around the house now and then'


TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor Tue 23-Dec-08 17:19:04

Don't get me started Marlagrin

The only time DP doesn't do the hoovering is if he does the 8-6 shift and is out of the house from 7am-7:30pm.

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:20:16

His jobs are the bins, Dealing with DD for an hour in the morning while I have my shower and then anything else he feels like which will normally include once a week sorting the dishwasher. Oh he makes breakfast about 2/3 times a week.

He really does do stuff.

DarksomeNight Tue 23-Dec-08 17:21:07

Don't text as then he'll know your plan. Just leave the house all tidy with one little light on and go. I think he'd be pretty unreasonable to expect that you'll just be up waiting to piut her to bed. He obviously isn't working tonight then. I think 10 is reasonable to go to bed, I am often in by then when not ill. If he wants to keep her up that late he should put her to bed afterwards.

babylovessanta Tue 23-Dec-08 17:22:22

I would defintley go to

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:23:01

See this is what's annoyed me. He agreed that he'd take DD out today so I could clean the house in peace but I ended up dealin with her till 2pm cos he'd been sat on the comp all morning (DD stayed at my mum's last night I had a dentist apt at 9am) and hadn't got stuff ready.

So I've started tidying late and the few hours I had reserved myself to sleep later to be ready for them coming home has gone. so..... hence wanting to go to bed.

DarksomeNight Tue 23-Dec-08 17:26:21

tough then isn't it - for him I mean. Go to bed with a good book and some hot choc and be fast asleep when he comes in. If he wakes you you have the right to be supremely pissed off and tell him so without feeling bad about it. And DO NOT get up again if he does wake you. roll over and go back to sleep.
You are ill and he isn't.

DarksomeNight Tue 23-Dec-08 17:27:27

Oh and make sure you leave everything he will need for her bed routine right there where he can't miss it or he will then have an excuse to wake you. My DH does this on my lie in morning rather than look for stuff. He says it's just easier to ask mehmm

NAB3hundredChristmaslights Tue 23-Dec-08 17:27:40

Just tell him you feel crap and he needs to sort out his own child tonight.

AaliyahsFirstXmas Tue 23-Dec-08 17:31:22

Dark - DP does that!! !grin I asked him to give her a bath one night and I kept getting shouted

Wheres the shampoo - On the shelf with yours
Wheres her baby soar - Same shelf
Wheres the towels - In the towel box where you normally get them from
Where's her PJ's - In the draw where the PJ's normally are
Does she need cream - Yes cos she always has cream doesn't she
Well where is it then - On the shelf by the changing mat
Wheres her nappies - in the drawer by the changing table like they always are
Can you come watch her while I get the nappies then - Why they should be in reach by the changing table
Well I'm not using the changing table cos its warmer in our room - no its not and no I wont, take her into her room and change her on the table. Thats what its for hmm

Then all you can hear is huffing and stamping!! BIG BLOODY KID!! LMAO

izyboy Tue 23-Dec-08 17:31:48

I wouldnt even hesitate, I have HIGH expectations of DH and his ability to do things for the kids. He would not bat an eyelid if I had gone to bed early and would put our kids to bed as a matter of course. GO TO BED.

MerryMadMarg Tue 23-Dec-08 18:00:14

Go to bed!!! If he grizzles, remind him that he's a blardy parent too!!!!

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