I'm due to give birth next week and DH hasn't booked us a hotel room...

[MaryBeWaiting]

... its bound to be packed, after all, the world and his wife'll be there. What happens if we "just turn up" and there's nowhere to stay? Where does he think I'm going to give birth, in a stable?

[Twims]

Can you not sleep in the car

[Twims]

Can you not sleep in the car

[WhatFreshMistletoeIsThis]

tsk. has he at least hired the donkey? otherwise you might have to walk.

I did overhear some people planning some pretty fantastic presents for you this year though

[ravenAK]

Outrageous.

What if unexpected guests arrive to bring you presents? It'd be a nightmare...

[Biglipsdrankallthexmasbaileys]

im confused!

why are you wanting to book in a hotel room???....what for??

[themulledmanneredjanitor]

bloody men typical. 'oh there'll be something i am sure'-i know the routine.

have you packed your bag? got your swaddling clothes ready? might want to take some dettox and a cloth-you know how grubby stables get-with all that horse shit everywhere.

[squeaver]

I know a few innkeepers you could try...

[Lemontart]

nah, you will be fine. Loads of pubs around. There is bound to be at least one with an outhouse if push comes to shove

[MaryBeWaiting]

Oo, do you think there'll be presents? How will they know where to deliver them? That's a point, how will I get my Bounty pack?

Mind you we've got this whopping great star that seems to be following us, how are we supposed to get any sleep at night with that thing shining down...

[Lemontart]

and if you are expecting any guests likely to bring gifts, perhaps ask them not to bother with posh smellies but bring some decent pain relief and a warm blanket instead. Much more useful..

[squeaver]

Oh I think you should get one of those portable blackout blinds to block out the light from the star.

[feelingbitfestive]

Yes, but some will be shite. What do you do with Myrrh?

[MaryBeWaiting]

I might have mentioned on HERE that he's not the baby's father - do you think he reads MN? Maybe I'd better shut up...

[themulledmanneredjanitor]

have you tried black out blinds?

have you and dh made up then? i remember you posting a while back about him being angry about the pregnancy-baby not being his or something? all sorted now?

[MaryBeWaiting]

Blackout blinds, good idea...

[feelingbitfestive]

Do you know whose it is? 50-50? Jeremy Kyle'd love to hear from you!

[Lemontart]

are you the one who everyone claimed must be a troll as you were constantly harping on about angels so got slated for telling porkys or being on drugs???

[Santaisfeelingfunnypeculiar]

You do know all the animal related health risks, don't you? Avoid anywhere with sheep, for example - no good for pregnant women...

[ByThePowerOfBaileys]

I have a shed you can rent for £3,000 a night if you don't mind shacking up with the Ox

[feelingbitfestive]

"The DNA test results show that Joseph....................."

[NotanOtter]

dont forget the swaddling blanket if you want a good nights kip

knowinhg your luck you baby wont even wake despite a racket

( the cattle are lowing he baby awakes but little lord jesus no crying he makes)

[MaryBeWaiting]

No, the Troll is in the 3 billy goats gruff, nothing to do with me, honest

[JODIEhadtoomanymincepies]

I've got a feeling that everything will turn out for the best. Watch out for King Herod though, he's nasty!

(Oh and you might want to give Easter a miss from now on!)

[squeaver]

And what's he done about transport? He's not expecting you to sit on a bloody donkey is he? Where will you put the car seat?