Advanced search

bloody cemetry officials why cant they think at this time of year

(43 Posts)
hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 15:01:21

just had a bloody letter off cemetry people giving us four weeks to remove all personal effects off his grave,its 2 years tomorrow since we buried him,why couldnt they leave it tilll january dont the bastards relise how hard christmas is without them making it harder.
his mummy is struggling atm and its so hard holding everything together.
ok we signed paperwork to say we would stick to rules,but that was 5 days after he had died when we had to deal with police,coroners,undertakers everything but surely 3 brars from people who miss him so much isnt unreasonable, i move the tab ends they drop there everytime someone gets buried without moaning.
we cut the grass round him weekly in summer and never wanted grass over him,cant stand the thought of anyone walking over him.
even the name on letter it was addressed to is someone weve never heard of
sorry girls i need to rant

rubyslippersisappearinginpanto Wed 17-Dec-08 15:02:13

have a ((Hug))

a bit of sensitivity wouldn't go amiss

TheFalconInThePearTree Wed 17-Dec-08 15:03:31

((hugs)) for you. I'm sorry they're being so horrid.

What's wrong with personal effects on graves anyway?

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 15:11:42

the bears are in special cases so dont get wet and look awful,im just gutted i was realy trying so bloody hard to try this christmas and its ruined

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 20:41:09

thanks ruby and thefalconinthepeartree im just so peed off

TheFalconInThePearTree Wed 17-Dec-08 20:43:30

What will they do if you refuse to move them?

I can't understand why they have a problem with personal effects. My local cemetery has personal effects on many of the gravestones, even from those that died decades ago.

nickytinseltimes Wed 17-Dec-08 20:43:45

That is rotten.
Very bad timing.
sad for you.

lizandlulu Wed 17-Dec-08 20:57:19

thats awful, do they give a reason for you to have to remove them? i thought it was pretty much standard for people to put items on graves?

so sorry for yousad

TheFalconInThePearTree Wed 17-Dec-08 20:59:04

That should be even on the graves of those who died decades ago.

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 21:03:17

they have given us four weeks to remove everything then they will remove and we will be able to pick up from office,2006 was horrendous,we didnt have inquest till oct 2007 so that no better,and now this surely my granddaughters should be able to have a better xmas this year,we were realy trying they are only 4 and 5 years old and fifteen months,how much more do we have to endure

DingDongMerrilyOnEI Wed 17-Dec-08 21:04:46

sad how awfulsad
i would maybe call the cemetry officials and make a complaint about this as surely they could display some sensitivity given the area they specialise insad i am so sorry for your losssad
xx ei xx

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 21:06:48

we called them,myself,dd and dh ,they have agreed the timing is bloody crap,dont they look at dates and its christmas,season of goodwill

edam Wed 17-Dec-08 21:08:09

How horrible. You are right, it's particularly shitty to send out what are bound to be hurtful letters to grieving relatives at this time of year. And getting the name wrong is unforgivable.

I'd be tempted to call the local paper but you probably don't want the hassle.

LilySwalLoosHerTurkeyBaster Wed 17-Dec-08 21:09:47

hazy so sorry have never understood why they stop you leaving whatever you choose at a graveside. Better than the neglected ones falling over.

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 21:20:44

my dh spends hours keeping it nice,he doesnt do just jaydens he does a few ,there is a couple of babys next to ours and he noticed date of anniversary coming up and he washed gravestone and cut grass surrounding it as he didnt want young girl seeing it scruffy as she cant go often, they say they cant get mower near but they dont need to ,we bought petrol equipment jusr for there

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 22:28:52

i even wash his bears and then reseal in plastic boxes so they keep looking newx

baublerock Wed 17-Dec-08 22:49:15

Why can't they just leave it be, if it's being well cared for and not OTT I don't see that it hurts anyone! angry

llareggub Wed 17-Dec-08 22:53:22

I'm so sorry.

I suspect the cemetery is run by the council. I think it is worth you contacting your local councillor and discussing this with him or her. They will have the knowledge to try and influence policy to get it changed.

hazygirl Wed 17-Dec-08 23:02:18

it is rung by local council

Technofairy Wed 17-Dec-08 23:20:07

Your local newspaper/local tv news show is probably the best bet - heartless officials, Christmas, season of goodwill etc etc. Councillors really hate bad publicity! And this would be so much bad publicity.

Good luck. My thoughts and very best wishes are with you. Grief is a terrible thing without petty officialdom making it worse. What harm can a teddy bear do for God's sake?

Kitteh Wed 17-Dec-08 23:39:23

aaw doll.. i dont understand why you cant have personal effects.. Just also wanted to say how nice it is that your DH does that, for other people too.. brings a tear to my eye to see the kindness..

Moondancer Wed 17-Dec-08 23:57:28

I think its nice that people do leave personal effects but I so often read in our local paper that these graves are regularly 'targetted' by vandals sad. V sad. Hope you can get this sorted Hazygirl.

ISawMumiKissingSantaClaus Thu 18-Dec-08 00:30:37

I was going to post almost exactly what Kitteh said - how kind of your DH to notice and do that

Do speak to councillor and local press if you have no joy. If you can get some help in putting in an official complaint, that should surely help - I hear about this stupid rule so often, probably because getting it on record is one of the last things relatives need to be dealing with

((HUGS)) xxx

TinselBaublesMistletoe Thu 18-Dec-08 00:48:06

That's awful, sounds like real jobs worths! They do need to have more consideration.

The reason they say no to personal articles is because of grass cutting, certain areas of the cemetery will have different rules, but usually with children's gardens there isn't the same option (our cemetery is closed to adults now and they're just opening children's gardens where they can find space). I think even if you're cutting the grass yourselves they will see it as a problem because not everyone who brings personal items in will cut the grass. But it's winter so they don't need to cut the grass and their timing stinks whatever way you look at it!

hazygirl Thu 18-Dec-08 08:40:59

thanks girls ,were gonna see if they will change their mind and just allow his bears

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: