To think ex is being a cheapskate?

[MrsSnape]

DS2 wants Star Wars for xbox for christmas. ex already had the game (for himself) and then all of a sudden his copy disapeared and he says he's got DS the game for christmas. So basically he's giving him his old one as a christmas present.

He says he's short of money but this doesn't stop him pissing up every weekend

I have no issue with 2nd hand games but I think his father could at least BUY him a christmas present.

AIBU?

[SantasNuttySTaff]

you ds wants star wars and he's getting it at the end of the day

dont you and your ex generally get games for free as tester anyway for reviews or something? (i may be confusing you with another person?)

maybe ask your ex to get your dd a lil something extra to go with it??

[wrinklytum]

Bit of both I think.YNBU to think your exdh should prioritise his needs and think of his dcs first,but if he IS genuinely skint and your dc wanted this game and he could only afford to give it as a pressie even though it has been pre-owned then YAB a little U.

[SantasNuttySTaff]

sorry your ds (not dd)

[TheProvincialLady]

The cost of the gift does not count - it is the thought, and whether the person will appreciate it. This seems to tick both boxes so I don't see what the problem is TBH.

[MrsSnape]

I don't mind that it's second hand, I always buy them second hand games myself (it makes sense) but its the fact that he says he's skint yet tells me in the next breath that he's been out drinking all weekend.

He hasn't got DS1 anything yet. I just hope he IS going to.

[beanieb]

Idon't think it's mean. He has paid for it, he's just passing it on. I suppose he could pass it on and buy another present but then I am also sure your son will be stoked to just get what he wanted.
You could of course tell your son that his dad didn't buy it specially for him, but that would be mean.

YAB a little unreasonable, is it because you dislike your ex?

[MrsSnape]

Yes ok, I just wanted a dig at ex

No, I suppose it's because I'm all stressed out buying this and that, worrying, panicking, scraping money together to get them what they want and then I see him pissing his money away and just not bothering about his own kids at christmas. I think he could have saved some of his money and bought them a present or even taken them out somewhere but no, it all goes on himself, sod the kids.

I'm sounding all bitter and twisted, must be coming around to 'that time of the month'

[lou33]

i can understand how you feel, my exh is always saying how broke he is, yet is always drinking

it's v frustrating he seems to be unable to budget for their birthdays, seeing as he has known all their lives when they are, but i keep my mouth shut and let them enjoy whatever it is he has sent, as it is better than nothing at all from him

[MrsSnape]

Lou33 that is sensible. I'd never let the kids know that the presents were not actually bought as it only hurts them, not him.

One year he bought them a chocolate bar each for christmas, despite going on a night out christmas eve spending over £100 on beer.

I just don't understand how some absent parent's minds work. It makes me so angry.

[lou33]

i agree, it's v difficult trying to interact with someone who has an issue with alcohol, there is no point trying to make them "see sense" because they think we are the ones who are wrong

it's a case of gritting your teeth and saying nothing within earshot of the kids