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to not want to go away for new year

(12 Posts)
benandoli Mon 15-Dec-08 20:20:47

ok I have 3 children(6,3 and 8 weeks). We are coping really well so far with having three but I was really looking forward to the time after christmas when dh is off work to having a bit of chill time, no school runs etc. We have both sets of grandparents here on christmas day and I do all the cooking. It isnt easy as they hate each other but pretend they dont for the sake of the children. This year I know they will be competing with who holds the newborn and who has got the kids the best presents and I am stuck in the middle.
Anyway now we have been invited away for the newyear by husbands extended family so that basically means spending 4 days with the inlaws as well as many other relatives fron dh side and no time for my lovely little family to spend alone. I know the children will love it but just feel like crying all the time when I think about it. Opinions please.

NappyXmas Mon 15-Dec-08 20:23:56

No, YANBU. It sounds like your holiday time might not be that relaxing if you have to do all that catering and then start packing bags for a 4 day trip. Why don't you talk to your OH and let him know how you feel.

FWIW, With an 8wk old baby, I wouldn't be hosting Xmas or going away - I'd be hunkering down at home, in front of the fire, and getting DP to make me snacks, whilst I cosied up with the DC in front of the great kids films.

If your DH thinks YABU - let him read this thread, am sure that loads of people would agree with me. Have a lovely time, whatever you do.

moondog Mon 15-Dec-08 20:26:18

$ days is a loooong time.
I wouldn't do it.
Could you do a night or two to keep everyone happy?
It might be easier on you if someone else is cooking and so o.Would they entertain the older kids while yuo lool about with the baby/

Uriel Mon 15-Dec-08 20:29:49

Lovely that they all want to spend time with you, but, doing Christmas the way you've described, would be enough for me in your circumstances.

Can you decline the invite gracefully and suggest getting together next year?

Does dh know you feel like crying about it?

tinselroundtherock Mon 15-Dec-08 20:41:07

Talk to DH quickly, stay home and relax together...have a break before the treadmill after new year gets going. This is the only year you will have an easy excuse of just getting used to three children including one of onyl eight weeks.

beanieb Mon 15-Dec-08 20:45:12

you poor thing. but... maybe you need to find a way to not stress about it before it's even happened? I can talk, I am the queen of stressing about what I think might end up being an uncomfortable situation way before it's actually happened.

my advice is deal with it when it is ppening if at all possible, rather than letting it spoil the next couple of weeks. Hard to do, I know, but if you can think about the 'now' instead of the 'then' and what you think the 'then' will be like it is a lot less stressful.

tinselroundtherock Mon 15-Dec-08 20:53:10

[waves] Beanie!

andyrobo237 Mon 15-Dec-08 20:54:43

Many sympathies - we too 'have' to stay away from home for New Year with SIL and her partner, in some place miles away from anywhere - probably very nice, but I would rather stay at home! There will be three sets of adults and 3 kids under 6, with SIL planning long walks and cosy pub meals - she doesnt have kids! Mine like to eat at set times, are fussy eaters, etc, but we are going for two days (we were invited for a week!!), and I will have to take food for us, as she does not eat what I consider to be normal food! Very fond of the wine!!!!

I wouldnt enjoy that with a 8 week old baby, so I hope you manage to not go, unless you can get a break by letting everyone else entertain the kids while you sit with your feet up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beanieb Tue 16-Dec-08 10:09:59

:wave: blackrock grin

Dropdeadfred Tue 16-Dec-08 10:12:52

you say you have been don't say if you had any choice in the matter...?
just decline the invite, or as others have said perhaps go for one day/night...
and why have you got BOTH sets of grandparents round the same day if it causes tension???!!?!?

benandoli Tue 16-Dec-08 13:33:48

Because we are both only children!

Dropdeadfred Tue 16-Dec-08 13:40:54

sorry for asking if it's hurtful...but wher are your and dh's parents..why are they not hosting?

omg - just realised you mean your parents...not your gps...sorry

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