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To wish DH would just leave me alone, for one day?

(154 Posts)
CarmerKharma Mon 03-Nov-08 14:14:05

DH has just been to the shop. I asked him to buy some chocolate biscuits of some kind so he came back with penguins.

I know it sounds trivial but he does this kind of thing all the time, really small, subtle things that are designed to wind me up but are SO subtle that if I moan it sounds like I'm losing my marbles to anyone else.

Like bread, I asked him to buy some bread and he came back with white bread. I can't eat white and he knows this.

A while ago I asked him to get me a magazine to read (he knew what I meant) and he came back with a TV guide thing.

Writing this down just sounds so stupid but it's a passive aggressive thing, he does things DELIBRATELY to annoy or wind me up but why??

beansmum Mon 03-Nov-08 14:15:41

It DOES sound stupid, but I'm sure it is annoying. Why would he want to annoy you though?

Dior Mon 03-Nov-08 14:16:22

Message withdrawn

spookyrookie Mon 03-Nov-08 14:17:01

Are you absolutely sure he is doing this on purpose, he just sounds like a normal male with default setting ?

Could you try being more specific i.e. asking for brown bread rather than just bread, and telling him what magazine you want rather than letting him choose.

I just say this because my DH has a talent for not noticing the blindingly obvious and he certainly doesn't do it on purpose, just is genuinely clueless sometimes.

woodenchair Mon 03-Nov-08 14:17:34

Does he do it deliberately or is just a thoughtless twat?

squeaver Mon 03-Nov-08 14:17:41

Aren't penguin biscuits chocolate?

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits Mon 03-Nov-08 14:17:49

Sounds like a typical man thing to me, most i know never get things like that right, maybe most men are passive-aggressive delibrately, who knows, i tend to just smile while thinking 'idiot'

beanieb Mon 03-Nov-08 14:18:07

Does he really do it on purpose?

filz Mon 03-Nov-08 14:18:29

i'm sorry but pmsl

you need to S-P-E-L-L-I-T-O-U-T

Mutt Mon 03-Nov-08 14:18:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

filz Mon 03-Nov-08 14:19:45


jumpingbeans Mon 03-Nov-08 14:20:21

Tell him exactly what you want, i have learnt over the years men are mostly annoying agrevating fuckwits.
Tell him, brown sliced bread, womans own,milk chocolate digestives,- trust me it gets no better, you just learn to get round it

alphabetsoup Mon 03-Nov-08 14:20:56

Carmer my mum does this ! i know where you are coming from; it is absolutely maddening but hard to describe to a third paty without coming across as petty and demanding. If their is a wrong/stupid/ill thought out choice to be made my mother will make it....and then seem to revel in the irritation of those around her n a wounded martryr fashion.

BouncingTurtle Mon 03-Nov-08 14:22:04

I was wondering that too, filz!

Sorry but I think YABU. You need to be specific - believe me I speak from bitter experience...

OrmIrian Mon 03-Nov-08 14:22:40

Penguins aren't chocolate biscuits?

I think you are being a little unreasonable. Tell him what you want. Precisely. What makes you think he's being deliberately awkward to wind you up?

DH has a day off today. He was planning to take DS#1 to the cinema but I told him there was an Asda delivery on the way. So they waited in until after 1 when I realised that I had booked it for tomorrow blush Really dickhead behaviour. But it was not deliberate. Cock-up not conspiracy. I think that is the case more often than not. Unless you have evidence to the contrary.

MurderousMarla Mon 03-Nov-08 14:23:11

How can people say 'typical man' when he bought her bread that she cannot eat and he knows this?

OP what does he say when you tell him 'I can't eat that' and 'I can't read that' and 'penguins are chocolate bars not biscuits'?

Oh it would fuck me off no end, but I would not rely on such an idiot tbh.

filz Mon 03-Nov-08 14:24:30

penguin are so not chocolate bars
they are biscuits!

and you can actually read a tv dont like mags do they?

fair enough about the bread but the rest sounds petty

MurderousMarla Mon 03-Nov-08 14:27:12

They're bars.

Biscuits are things you can eat 2,3,4, half a packet of. A few different types for variety. Dunk in your tea. Not single-y wrapped and in a packet of 5.

falcon Mon 03-Nov-08 14:27:18

You'll have to be more specific I'm afraid, and what's wrong with penguins? They are chocolate biscuits are they not?

His mind reading skills are somewhat lacking it seems. I always hated when people send you out for say a bar of chocolate and say oh get me anything then when you return with a Boost for example, they say oh I don't like those.angry

filz Mon 03-Nov-08 14:28:11

you might be able to murderousmarlawink

AbbeyA Mon 03-Nov-08 14:28:12

Knowing what he is like you should be more specific, or better still write it down for him.

falcon Mon 03-Nov-08 14:28:26

Biscuits come in many forms not just those that aren't individually wrapped and which are intended for dunking purposes.

squeaver Mon 03-Nov-08 14:29:56

No no no

Chocolate bars are Snickers, Mars bars etc

Chocolate biscuits are Penguins, Club etc etc

Chocolate digestives are chocolate digestives.

It's quite simple.

mamaspanx Mon 03-Nov-08 14:30:04

i think some men don't think in a detailed way about the small things....if you think hes doing it deliberately then it would make you feel really resentful. however i would expect my dh to know me beter and to know what chocolate biscuits/bread/magazine i would like.

it can be the little trivial things that drive you bonkers though

Saturn74 Mon 03-Nov-08 14:30:54

Your thread title is very sad.
It sounds like his behaviour is grinding you down.
It is hard to deal with passive aggression on a regular basis.
I think you need to spell out how you feel to your DH.
And maybe shop for your own biscuits. grin

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