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to not take DD2's lunch into school for her that I have just found in the fridge........

(30 Posts)
PsychoGuyFawkesMum Mon 03-Nov-08 12:52:44

not sure if I am being mean or sensible here.

She is 12, yr8, and utterly forgetful and flakey.

and she is always forgetting her lunch box, and I therefore am always taking it into school for her.

I swear each time that this is the last, and then go back on my word as I feel bad for her and worry that she will be hungry and therefore not able to concentrate.

today tho, I did not even think to check, she said she had it, all the three smaller ones got their lunch boxes out themselves, and I have had no reason to go into the fridge since getting back from the school run, until a few mins ago to make myself some lunch.....and so I have found it.

and am sat here feeling guilty as I am not running out to take it to her this time as lunch time will be about over by the time I get there!

make me feel better.......or tell me off for being a wicked mother for allowing her to waste away to a skelington!

SmugColditz Mon 03-Nov-08 12:54:19

She'll borrow some money from reception and have a school dinner. She'll also get a telling off if she keeps doing it, which might teacher her not to! Make her pay the money back herself. She'll soon start taking her pack up!

Mutt Mon 03-Nov-08 12:54:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarGirl Mon 03-Nov-08 12:54:56

I was tried to refuse when my dd was 9?? Actually she wouldn't get out of bed and didn't have time to make it. The school said if I didn't bring it then they would have to report to me to social services!!!!

Perhaps by yr8 you'd get away with it though.

DisasterArea Mon 03-Nov-08 12:57:15

last time DD1 forgot hers (same age, equally as flakey) i refused. her mates all gave her a bit of what they had.
i am planning on making sure she has a couple of emergency pounds in her bag though because she does it so often.

SmugColditz Mon 03-Nov-08 12:57:24

make yourself unavailable - don't answer phonecalls from the school - just ignore the messages they leave! They won't call the SSX that's insane.

PsychoGuyFawkesMum Mon 03-Nov-08 12:58:01

you think so coldizt???

I will make her pay believe me if she does, and I do hope she does as I will feel better (ie, she will have eaten), and hopefully this will make her think.

altho, probably nothmm.

Mutt, I never normally make a stand......tis only because I found it too late that I am now, and I am not liking the feeling.

cargirl, I hope that the school dont inform SSshock

PsychoGuyFawkesMum Mon 03-Nov-08 12:59:22

disaster.....I gave her some money a while back for such a time, and she spent it in the first week on something else entirelyangry.

have refused since, and she seems to not be worried.

she will be today thohmmwink

DisasterArea Mon 03-Nov-08 13:00:55

yes i suspect that will happen to DD too.
i have vowed to be strong and a day of being hungry won't hurt her and she will forgive me but...... we'll see.

kingprawntikka Mon 03-Nov-08 13:01:59

If she is in year 8 then I very much doubt anybody will even notice she has no lunch, let alone call you up about it.

Tortington Mon 03-Nov-08 13:02:25

dd forgot pe kit and blazer and trainers this am

hard tits.

reception will lend her money.

CarGirl Mon 03-Nov-08 13:02:35

I took it in, but just took in some bread and an apple I think, I was then contacted by the head and told if I provided her with an inadequate lunch again then they would have to report me.

I truly think it was the school following the guidelines!!!

It's insane you can send a child to school without breakfast, feed them utter rubbish for lunch, not give them tea but they're not allowed to learn the consequences of their actions!!!! I said okay next time she'll just have to be late for school then!

anniemac Mon 03-Nov-08 13:05:30

Message withdrawn

GuysballsintheSky Mon 03-Nov-08 13:05:31

shock at you not having a reason to go into the fridge until now. Don't you at least have milk for your tea in their, not to mention butter for your toast and that big bar of Galaxy?

Don't have big kids but am sure she will survive and scrounge money from a friend. She's old enough to fend for herself in ways such as this

GuysballsintheSky Mon 03-Nov-08 13:05:56

there blush

onepieceoflollipop Mon 03-Nov-08 13:06:07

PsychoMum there is no way they will phone ss.

Even if they tried it ss would just laugh tell them to stop time wasting.

CarGirl your dd's school staff sound a bit mad tbh. What a silly and unnecessary thing to threaten a parent with.

falcon Mon 03-Nov-08 13:08:09

I forgot my lunch quite reguarly as a child, actually I still do and while I don't think you'd be unreasonable to let her go without lunch, doing so wouldn't have helped me remember it.

Nothing short of a neon sign tied to myself and one to be hung on the front door would have helped me to remember. I'm dyspraxic though to be fair.

PsychoGuyFawkesMum Mon 03-Nov-08 13:11:24

guyballs......nope, no reason.

I am allregic to milk, so need to get the milk out for coffee, I have mine black.

as for butter on my toast and a big bar of galaxy......<<<sob>>>.....I really want some, but I kind of like smooth skin as opposed to looking like a raspberrywink!!!

ok, so consensus is, she won;t come home looking wasted, just very hungry.

and hopefully with a memory improvementgrin

AMumInScotland Mon 03-Nov-08 13:11:42

By year 8, I reckon anything they've forgotten is their own problem - lunch, homework, PE kit, etc - and they just have to take the consequences. Schools generally take the same attitude too - no-one's going to phone SS about it, or even phone you to sort it out - they will leave it up to her to sort herself out, though they probably have some system so she can get money / a school lunch if she goes and asks.

CarGirl Mon 03-Nov-08 13:12:08

Difference was my dc was 9 and at junior school!

PsychoGuyFawkesMum Mon 03-Nov-08 13:12:39

falcon, she is very dyslexic, which she blames regularly for her memory laspes.

she may have a point, but I reminded her, and she said yes, and still forgot.


PsychoGuyFawkesMum Mon 03-Nov-08 13:14:01

cargirl, if DD2 was 9, I would still have taken it in.

altho, they would have rung me anyway I would have thought....

altho, I would spit nails had they spoken to me the way they spoke to you!

CarGirl Mon 03-Nov-08 13:19:40

I think it was more the point that she had forgotton it was the fact that she couldn't be bothered to get out of bed etc etc I was trying to get her to learn from the consequences of her actions, the occasions when she forgot I didn't mind taking it in!

WilyWombat Mon 03-Nov-08 13:26:15

Mine are at primary so I thought you were being very unreasonable but in the circumstances you describe YANBU grin

Hopefully will encourage her to remember in future and I hope the dinner money is coming out of her savings!

GuysballsintheSky Mon 03-Nov-08 13:35:45

Sorry Psycho. Forgot blush. Cucumber sticks?

Worst case scenario, she will come home ravenous and won't forget again.

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