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to be furious babysitter expected me to leave my ds's with her 10 year old til she got home

(10 Posts)
Sibble Sun 02-Nov-08 18:57:09

dh and I went to drop ds's aged 4 and 8 at babysitters last night. I've known her for 5 years, she's in her 30's with 3 children of her own. She used to come to ours but increasingly lately has asked me to drop boys at hers then she brings them home and puts them to bed.

We were 30 mins late dropping them off last night. When got there were met by her youngest = 10 year old with instructions to look after my boys til she got home.

I was speechless. DH furious. We didn't leaveg them. We were going to a concert at the zoo, it was a 6pm start so we bought tickets on the door and took them with us.

On probing turns out. She's been going out to work after I've left them. When they've been going to the park which I thought was a lovely thing to do with them. They've been going on their own - ds2 the 4 year old is a bit of a handful and the thought of them crossing the quite busy road with him turns my stomach. Ds1 carries an epipen due to allergies. WHat was the freaking point of me leaving the epi pen! Who would have administered it.

On a few occasions and I wasn't very comfortable about it I've left the boys with her partner who I think is her childrens dad. She said they'd had a split and got back together. He'd told me she's popped out and would be back in 5 mins. I asked where he was last night - answer - 'he's been a bad man again. He's thrown somebody out a car and the police have put him in jail'. shock

I have been leaving my boys with him/them. I don't know if I'm gullible, stupid or what. I am furious. She left a message on my cell phone but I havn't called her back yet as 1. I'm sptiing and 2. I really don't know where to start or waht to say.

Actually I don't think I'm being unreasonable but couldn't think where else to post/.

Majeika Sun 02-Nov-08 18:59:12

shock

and paying her for the privilege of going out to work!!!!

I would wipe the floor with her and tell her there is no way she will have your boys again!!

TheBlonde Sun 02-Nov-08 18:59:53

So you've known her for 5 years but have no idea if her bloke is the kids' dad

Weegle Sun 02-Nov-08 19:01:39

WTF is the point in paying her to be a baby-sitter if she doesn't sit the children?! I'm fuming on your behalf. I don't think I would speak to her, I think I would be too angry for a very long time. Certainly never ever use her again and let every mum in your local area know.

PootyApplewater Sun 02-Nov-08 19:02:52

I'm surprised your 8yo hasn't mentioned some of this to you before, especially the details re he and his little brother apparently being allowed to the park alone, and the concerns over the epipen.

Who did you 'probe' to get this information?

bamboostalks Sun 02-Nov-08 19:04:17

How did you develop this relationship with her, was there an introduction? I find it odd that you are unsure about whether this man is the father of her children.

beanieb Sun 02-Nov-08 19:04:35

blimey, that's awful.

warthog Sun 02-Nov-08 19:09:13

unbelievable.

how did she come to be your babysitter?

Sibble Sun 02-Nov-08 19:12:22

I met her when I was pregnant with with ds2. She was cleaning a friends house and cleaned mine for about 9 months during late pregnancy and til ds2 was about 6 months. We live abroad with no family so she became a 'friend' really. She hardly cleaned, I made lunch and we chatted. I couldn't justify 'a cleaner' after ds was 6 months. We kept in touch and she offered to look after the boys when we wanted to go out one evening. It went from there. I've known her 5 years.

I say I think he's the father of her children as one of her children said Dad had come home. She never went into details.

I was also suprised ds1 never said she wasn't there. His answer - I never asked and he's right I assumed she was. Never crossed my mind to ask whether she was there the whole evening. On the times I've left the boys with her partner I've asked was X long after we left and was told - no??? TIme to an 8 year old is hard to guage.

warthog Sun 02-Nov-08 19:30:01

well i would be seriously hacked off.

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