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I'm at my wits end, advice needed please before I scream - Aaarrggghhhh

(138 Posts)
interflora Sat 01-Nov-08 18:34:50

I am not sure what to do in this situation.

My friend has recently started bringing her 11 year old son along with her to our house - he is the most spoiled, most ruined, most horrible, most everything-bad-you-can-think-of child I've ever come across.

My dh and I adore children, and have seven of our own, our children just cannot be in the same room as this child, even though they love to play with all other children when our other friends visit.

He walks around our house from one room to another, and is allowed to touch and play with anything he wants, he calls his own mother nasty names, and she just sits there not saying anything to him.

We were meant to go to a Halloween party last night when my friend and this 'horrid henry' of a son of hers, turned up, which meant that our children spent the evening upstairs in their bedrooms, all dressed up in their dress-up clothes, and had to stay in. He'd already been 'trick or treating' so he was fine, and if he was fine, tough, nobody else mattered.

He was rude to my husband, when my husband tried to stop him going to every room of our house, as we feared he'd go upstairs to our childrens' bedrooms.

Also, this horrible child, knows much, much, much more than most kids his age, and far too much for my liking, about sex - and when one of our children dared come downstairs to make a drink, he crept up behind her and ripped off the upper part of her halloween outfit.

DH and I don't know what to do, we're certain that if we mention it to her, it will just fall on deaf ears, as she's told us many times that she can't understand why her sister, sister in law, his grandmother etc don't like her perfect little sod son, he's even been suspended from primary school, and his mother still thinks the sun shines out of his rear end!

Please please can anyone help us, its a delicate situation obviously, we don't want to cause trouble or offend anyone, but feel that the situation cannot be allowed to continue.


PortoTreasonandPlot Sat 01-Nov-08 18:40:50

Why didn't you just go out last night anyway? I wouldn't bother staying friends myself....

needsomeonetotalkto Sat 01-Nov-08 18:40:52

You HAVE to put a stop to any contact with this family immediatley. I am shocked that you do not make it clear tha he can not go around your house and do waht helikes, that you did not tell your'friend' that you were going out and why did'nt you say something when he ripped your DC costume off. Either tell the friend why you are stopping contact or blank her NOW.

interflora Sat 01-Nov-08 18:41:07

His mother is a very good friend of mine btw, but not sure how long for, I'm sure she won't see it from our point of view when we mention this little problem with her --spoiled bratt-- darling son, omg help please, anyone?????????

needsomeonetotalkto Sat 01-Nov-08 18:42:14

If you value the friendship then prehaps say something but quite honestly I think you would be better ditching them OR meeting her on her own.

loobeylou Sat 01-Nov-08 18:42:24

How long have you known this "friend" and her son? They do not have a God given right to come into your house. Say it's not convenient, make up an excuse, pretend to be contagious. You were planning to go out, just tell her that!

Actually, you could be a troll. Yes you could. There is something very troll-ish about that last sentence. And the refernce to sexual knowledge is thrown in for maximum impact.

Do you think pregnant women should not be lazy and kids who go to surestart groups should not wear Boden too?

what does anyone else think??

LadyLauraStandish Sat 01-Nov-08 18:42:29

Why didn't you go to the party last night? I would have told them I had to go out, frankly.

LittleMonkeysMummy Sat 01-Nov-08 18:42:31

She's in denial and her and her perfect little brat need a boot up the backside or a wee shove off a cliff grin

Or alternatively tell them to sod off {grin]

needsomeonetotalkto Sat 01-Nov-08 18:43:18

Why do people scream troll????

PsychoGuyFawkesMum Sat 01-Nov-08 18:43:52

I'm sorry, but if I had a friend with a shild like that, then I would only ever arrange to see her during school hours, or stop seeing her completely.

and last night, why on earth did you not just say to her that you were going out, and sorry, but she needed to go??

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 01-Nov-08 18:44:26

Message withdrawn

needsomeonetotalkto Sat 01-Nov-08 18:45:44

I feel sad for your knids missing their party.sad I don't like people dropping in uninvited.

AuraofDora Sat 01-Nov-08 18:46:26

why didnt you say you were all planning to go out? and er, GO?

if he is as you say a spoilt brat are you not all now enabling said spoiling of this child by allowing him to do what he likes in your home and denying promised fun to your kids cause he is on the

you have to do some spinal growth and if you offend then you offend, so what..if she was a good friend she would shurely understand that you put your kids first esp when you promised them?

she andhim are walking all over you and your family and you are letting them

loobeylou Sat 01-Nov-08 18:47:03

I have never screamed troll before, but there is something about the way that OP reads, rather formal and stilted somehow. Similar to other troll-y threads that have been on here today.

I cannot believe someone would NOT act if behaviours like this were happening. The OP has the power not to let it happen in her house. Easy.

2point4kids Sat 01-Nov-08 18:49:18

Very odd of you to not have said you were going out last night imo.
If you sent your kids to their room in their party gear when she turned up rather than say 'sorry we were just on our way out' to your friend, then its your fault they missed out, not your friend or her child!

needsomeonetotalkto Sat 01-Nov-08 18:50:18


Prehaps but it is a shame if the OP is really lookking for help. Some people are soft or don't know what to do.

interflora Sat 01-Nov-08 18:51:55

We did not send the kids to their rooms - as soon as they see the spoiled brat they go up to their rooms to be out of his way.

This has happened 3 times now.

loobeylou Sat 01-Nov-08 18:51:56

also note that Interflora has not been back since i shouted troll

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 01-Nov-08 18:54:05

Message withdrawn

interflora Sat 01-Nov-08 18:54:20

have another look loobeylou - i'm still here!!

needsomeonetotalkto Sat 01-Nov-08 18:55:10

Well YOU need to act. Nobdy else will defend your kids, you are allowing this to happen.

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs Sat 01-Nov-08 18:55:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loobeylou Sat 01-Nov-08 18:55:48

Ah, interflora, there you are.

well, you can do without a friend who is going to bring round a boy who interfers all over your house (that sounds like autism to me, my MIL teaches piano and the sibling of one of her pupils used to do that, roam all over the house touching stuff), not to mention rips your Dcs clothes! Just don't invite her, don't ask her in if she turns up. If her own family are saying her son is a badun, she'll get the message eventually

PsychoGuyFawkesMum Sat 01-Nov-08 18:56:01

why did you not still go out last night???

if I have a friend turn up when we are going out, we still go.

loobeylou Sat 01-Nov-08 18:57:50

and Interflora is not saying I'm not a troll!

which surely you would if you really wanted help/advise

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